VN Ren'Py This Won´t End like This [v0.1.1 Bug Fix] [Kick11]

3.50 star(s) 2 Votes
Discussion Reviews (2)
7767

7767

EAT
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Content Moderator
Aug 5, 2016
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Overview:
In a city ruled by crime and corruption, a young woman struggles day after day to survive alongside her younger brother and father. Her routine changes completely when, on her way to school, she crosses paths with Jack, the son of the city's most powerful drug dealer. She accidentally overhears a conversation she should never have heard, becoming the target of a dangerous game.
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Thread Updated: 2025-06-13
Release Date: 2025-06-09
Developer: Kick11 -
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Censored: No
Version: 0.1.1
OS: Windows, Linux, Mac
Language: English
Genre:
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Installation:
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Changelog:
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Developer Notes:
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1744487314756.png 1744487319947.png 1744487324628.png 1744487329045.png cg78.jpg ​
 
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torpedogoat

Newbie
May 24, 2024
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For now it's too short for a fair review, but I like it. Some quick feedback:

- The language needs some work. It's clear that the author is a native speaker of a non-European language, as they have trouble with the genders of pronouns. Referring to a towel as "he" is wrong but not a major problem, but alternating between using "he" and "she" when referring to a girl is very confusing. Even worse when she is in a fight with a boy and the boy is once referred to as "her". English uses gender for disambiguation, so this kind of mistake is a major source of confusion. This is just the tip of the iceberg. Often I had trouble guessing what a sentence was supposed to mean, and it wasn't always as obvious as when the word "relationship" was used instead of "reaction".
- I really like the graphics. And I like the fact that they are so incredibly lean. It's a really tiny download.
- The story is still short, but it's very promising. I really want to know how it continues.
 
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Lio24

Lio24

Newbie
Game Developer
May 9, 2022
17
51
torpedogoat said:
For now it's too short for a fair review, but I like it. Some quick feedback:

- The language needs some work. It's clear that the author is a native speaker of a non-European language, as they have trouble with the genders of pronouns. Referring to a towel as "he" is wrong but not a major problem, but alternating between using "he" and "she" when referring to a girl is very confusing. Even worse when she is in a fight with a boy and the boy is once referred to as "her". English uses gender for disambiguation, so this kind of mistake is a major source of confusion. This is just the tip of the iceberg. Often I had trouble guessing what a sentence was supposed to mean, and it wasn't always as obvious as when the word "relationship" was used instead of "reaction".
- I really like the graphics. And I like the fact that they are so incredibly lean. It's a really tiny download.
- The story is still short, but it's very promising. I really want to know how it continues.
Click to expand...
Well, I understand that I have to be very careful with my writing, and I will. I still struggle with English, but that's no excuse. I always welcome constructive criticism.
 
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L7Bear

L7Bear

Well-Known Member
May 29, 2017
1,151
1,858
Fantastic start!

Lots of minor problems (mostly misgendered pronouns, some punctuation) in the dialogue, but still interesting to read/play.
The grey-on-grey menu isn't easy to see, and "return" doesn't always work in some sub-menus.
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Definitely looking forward to more!
 
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3.50 star(s) 2 Votes