VN Ren'Py This Won´t End like This [v0.3.0] [Kick11]

[bamachine]

It's the first visual novel I've ever made, and it's more complicated than you might imagine. As for the English, I'm trying my best, but there are times when I'll miss a pronoun here and there. But I'm here to improve.

You might want to put a post in the "Looking for help" section here, asking for someone to proofread your dialogue. I know some out there will do it just for a thank you mention in the credits. When I was not working, during the pandemic/lockdown, I did that for a few games/devs.

 

[Lio24]

You might want to put a post in the "Looking for help" section here, asking for someone to proofread your dialogue. I know some out there will do it just for a thank you mention in the credits. When I was not working, during the pandemic/lockdown, I did that for a few games/devs.

Hmm... am I that bad? Haha, every time I act, I try to fix some lines that I think sound weird, but maybe I'll do what you say, as long as I don't get lost on this page, which I tend to do a lot.

 

[completionist999]

Great game, love the art style even though it is simplistic. Cannot wait to see what the story with the dad unfold into

 

[thebeast99]

Been enjoying it so far, you are keeping the pace of the story up fairly well. But I do worry that we are spending a bit too much build up to the proper fights. While you've had the fights on the streets a couple times (the story ones and this new one with a bad end), we are four releases in and haven't gotten to the first pit/arena fight yet. I get you are trying to build up the motivations and sexual awakening, just don't drag it out too much. But the scenes given so far have been good so I can wait a bit longer.

 

[wojtowicz]

does this game force you to let stuff happen or do you get a choice?

 

[Lio24]

does this game force you to let stuff happen or do you get a choice?

Well... I'll let you choose. There are perhaps a couple of scenes that are mandatory for now, but in the future you'll be able to choose as the story progresses. I have an ending in mind for when you don't choose anything, but we're not there yet.

 

[Daame]

I'll keep a watch on this one

 

[Kheram]

Well... I'll let you choose. There are perhaps a couple of scenes that are mandatory for now, but in the future you'll be able to choose as the story progresses. I have an ending in mind for when you don't choose anything, but we're not there yet.

Man, the difference in endings/scenes in 0.3 is already crazy.
Very very good work and I hope you'll get more support.

There is also a mistake in bad ending fight scene if you are going commando, it shown properly in the beginning, but when she kicks hand with knife frame 'cursed fabric' reappears.

 

[Lio24]

Man, the difference in endings/scenes in 0.3 is already crazy.
Very very good work and I hope you'll get more support.

There is also a mistake in bad ending fight scene if you are going commando, it shown properly in the beginning, but when she kicks hand with knife frame 'cursed fabric' reappears.

Thank you for pointing out the error. I will correct it for the next performance. Thank you for letting me know.

 

[L7Bear]

Enjoyed, but have thoughts about, the latest release.
Great work, but might need some polishing...

Spoiler: bad ending 1 and babysitting job

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[Kheram]

Babysitting job

I'd disagree.
None of the jobs have any direct interaction (i hope for now) except of choosing one.

Spoiler: Babysitting

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[L7Bear]

I'd disagree.
None of the jobs have any direct interaction (i hope for now) except of choosing one.

Spoiler: Babysitting

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I think you missed the part in my suggestion where the martial arts competition is actually a videogame, so the kid is much better at it than she is.

 

[Kheram]

I think you missed the part in my suggestion where the martial arts competition is actually a videogame, so the kid is much better at it than she is.

yeah, my bad.

Lio24 my argument about 'choice part is bad' was only about L7Bear's suggestion, not choices we have in game. Clarification, just in case of misunderstanding.

 

[Lio24]

yeah, my bad.

Lio24 my argument about 'choice part is bad' was only about L7Bear's suggestion, not choices we have in game. Clarification, just in case of misunderstanding.

nothing happens, I'm processing the information.

 

[malaac2025]

Game sucks! Shitty awful game where it's not fucking about corruption it's about a fucking mobster threatening your fucking life and family! Really she is a fucking idiot because first thing I would of done is took my entire family called the FBI and asked for protection and you will testify against him.

I thought she was fucking smart but first time attacked and threatened she caves. I hate shitty stories where EVIL fucking wins.

I rate it a 0 as I hate shit stories where EVIL wins. Corruption I could of gotten into but fucking murder, kidnapping, and probably be rape later.. No thank you.. FUCK THAT.

 

[Kheram]

Spoiler

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Yeah, testify like those 'Boeing whistle blowers', I'm sure FBI helped'em a lot.

It's easy to be brave and dead, much harder to be smart and alive.
'Caving' when you are tied up and there is loaded gun up your arse is smart.
Live to fight another day.

For now 'Evil' didn't won anything.
A few Evil guys got their asses beat up and delivered to a cops(who also might be 'EVIL')
As for other suggestions just wait and see.

also I lolled so hard ten out of ten claps

 

[fernandotorres1]

Among the 50 games I've played recently, this one definitely ranks in the top 10. I played it for the first time and really liked it. It's quite shallow and wonderful. It has many endings. When you progress through different options one by one, it opens the door to different events. Because of this, you miss out on some scenes. You have to replay the entire game and progress through different options. An urgent, major update is needed. The game is very short. There's a very slow character progression, and the girl is excessively blackmailed. It has exactly the concepts I want. I hope it gets a major update soon.