Did you guys read the undercover story?! What is your opinion on it?
I know it's just first chapter so I don't want to be too harsh on it. To me it was....whelming. Not to shabby, not too exciting either. The BJ scene was good. I wished the setting was different, like corporate espionage, infiltrating a cult or even a 'MataHari in ww2' type situation. The mob owned bar reminded of the new batman movie and the undercover betrayal 3d comics. I also thought since Don's bread and butter is cuckold genre, he will comeup with some interesting way to blend both, like having both husband and wife in undercover and husband has to languish in the bottom rank while actually witnessing his wife quickly rising through the ranks using her wits and tits! (I don't know why as I was typing this I immediately thought of Leia in Jabba's palace
)
It's obvious that this an expanded version of what was supposed to be a short story, you could tell by all the yadda yadda-ing of plot points. To me it felt like he skipped through some pretty interesting threads, like Riley building her undercover character by coming up with backstories and trying on costumes etc. I was also missing the villian's perspective, one if Don Silver's trademark. The thing I like about TA is you get to see and fall in love with Sarah's through both Dan and Lester's POV. I would've loved to see what the toad and Nico thought of Riley.
I know it's just first chapter so I don't want to be too harsh on it. To me it was....whelming. Not to shabby, not too exciting either. The BJ scene was good. I wished the setting was different, like corporate espionage, infiltrating a cult or even a 'MataHari in ww2' type situation. The mob owned bar reminded of the new batman movie and the undercover betrayal 3d comics. I also thought since Don's bread and butter is cuckold genre, he will comeup with some interesting way to blend both, like having both husband and wife in undercover and husband has to languish in the bottom rank while actually witnessing his wife quickly rising through the ranks using her wits and tits! (I don't know why as I was typing this I immediately thought of Leia in Jabba's palace
)It's obvious that this an expanded version of what was supposed to be a short story, you could tell by all the yadda yadda-ing of plot points. To me it felt like he skipped through some pretty interesting threads, like Riley building her undercover character by coming up with backstories and trying on costumes etc. I was also missing the villian's perspective, one if Don Silver's trademark. The thing I like about TA is you get to see and fall in love with Sarah's through both Dan and Lester's POV. I would've loved to see what the toad and Nico thought of Riley.
