Toxic Attraction DonSilver #Cuckold 8muses forum
- Thread starter adam adm
- Start date
It's good but I was expecting more, It's technically only one scene. I also don't like the mom direction. Feels that whatever Don has planned will move very very slowly, milking his readers one scene at a time (not necessary a bad thing but then again it was not enough for me)
Aren't the groceries Lester's responsibility?
I would have liked it better if there was a hole and dick for Renee, too. Or even if Lester stuck it through the hole for Renee.
Not a bad half a chapter, but he's absolutely drawing it out to milk another month of subscription fees.
It feels like the beginning of an entire different story.
This is a crazy story when you consider where it started. Not believable.
Waiting to hear from VERIS and PSIBER but in the mean time does anybody have undercover blonde chapter 10 and 11 thanks.
Wow, that was pretty close, huh?
Well, too bad the author set the scene the way he did. Again, simply a silly, utterly non-believable scenario.
I get the author wants to bring the mother into the debauchery, and that's fine. Some people have spoken about their distaste in this regard, but I don't mind it. But the author could have accomplished this with a far less ridiculous setting/scenario than a damn glory hole in a dirty bathroom stall. Come on now, seriously? It's almost porn parody at this point. And as if anyone disappearing into a public bathroom for more than 120 seconds isn't going to raise the eyebrows of the people he/she is at the bar with, let alone disappearing for 10+ minutes. Such implausibility steals from the story, IMO.
And Renee? The author started to move forward with some character development with Renee - she's secretly sexually frustrated, opening up to her daughter in a way she never had before, letting her hair down a bit, etc. This was a very good start. I was encouraged while reading that. But then, after the briefest touch on this, she just went from caring mother mode into public bathroom stall slut mode in a blink of an eye. This is very lazy writing, IMO. And it's a missed opportunity.
For example, it could have been so much better, had the two women gone back to a VRBO, Lester sneaks into the house (because he can hack any electronic lock, after all), quietly goes to Sarah's bedroom, Sarah does Sarah things, then Renee hears noises and wakes up and secretly watches them. But the author could have focused on Renee's internal battle with much more depth: Renee's initial shock at what she is witnessing, being horrified that her daughter is cheating, but at the same time, her long-untouched body is getting turned on. Feeling guilty about betraying her husband (even in a voyeuristic way), but not being able to control her response. Slowly but surely, she gives in, reaches her peak, then runs back to bed feeling both wonderful and guilty, confused by the two simultaneous emotions - all unbeknownst to Sarah/Lester. He could then build upon her character development as the story moves forward.
Heck, if the author wanted to keep Lester in control as the evil conductor, he could have had Lester looking up while fucking Sarah, and noticing the end of Renee's orgasm and her fleeing back to her bedroom. Lester saw her, but Renee doesn't know he did. The author then could develop the future story that way. Instead of either of those 2 paths (or any number of others), we get a pseudo mother-daughter dirty toilet glory hole slutfest. No bueno.
This chapter touches on this development with Renee, but not nearly enough. Maybe I'm being too hard on the author, as he did go into some of Renee's feelings while she masturbated. But it just felt....off. For old-school Renee to give in to her secret desires is one thing. But, to do so in a dirty public bathroom toilet stall? Yeah, pretty silly stuff. In the end, the glory hole in the dirty dive bar bathroom ruined it for me.
...and the chapter ended prematurely. It felt more like half a chapter, or 2/3rds of one.
P.S. Sarah is a vile character. Her discussion with Dan in the beginning was awful.
Last edited:
DarkStutzel
Active Member
- May 23, 2017
- 934
- 1,234
- 296
The worst chapter ever written, completely insane. We ended chapter 34 with Dan receiving the chair. I expected some dialogue, and it starts with Dan leaving out of nowhere. There was little character development, Dan's interaction with the children was very brief, and there was no serious fight between the couple, anything that would lead to their separation. It's ridiculous that Lester stopped attacking Dan; he always wants to despise Dan and doesn't see him in the bathroom. They didn't remember Dan not getting hard, and they didn't talk about the chair. I was expecting Trisha to call Dan, and Lester to sort things out at the hospital. It's sad to see that they're apparently going to set Dan up, even though he's a computer novice, never having had anything to do with first-generation computing. This part was poorly done. The worst part was seeing that the sentinel gave Dan a PC and doesn't update anything, doesn't monitor it. Trisha could have called Dan to warn him to be careful with his network, as the sentinel's computer was on a spy network, and the computer was observed, with a high risk of system intrusion. We see Sarah not getting her husband back, and Sarah and Dan are part of the failed threesome without any intimacy. Sarah says "I love you" when she speaks to Dan in a meaningful way. Dan not knowing his credit limit to the point of not making a basic purchase was depressing. They could have talked about separation, but they also didn't mention why Sarah came alone. It was strange. Lester wants to steal Sarah from Dan. Renee is also very naughty, to the point of saying at the table for Lester to hear that it's a miracle Sarah doesn't have a lover. The most depressing part is not seeing Dan talk to Sarah about the use of the girls' room and beds. The chair arrived, the kids went to their room, and Dan disappeared into the street? There's no reflection from Sarah on everything she did while cleaning up the mess in the house! Worst chapter of the series.
King_Gonta
Member
- Feb 9, 2025
- 136
- 148
- 62
We are assuming that author actually cares about the story which he simply does not. The fire inside him has diedWow, that was pretty close, huh?
Well, too bad the author set the scene the way he did. Again, simply a silly, utterly non-believable scenario.
I get the author wants to bring the mother into the debauchery, and that's fine. Some people have spoken about their distaste in this regard, but I don't mind it. But the author could have accomplished this with a far less ridiculous setting/scenario than a damn glory hole in a dirty bathroom stall. Come on now. Seriously? It's almost porn parody at this point. And anyone disappearing into a public bathroom for more than 120 seconds isn't going to raise the eyebrows of the people he/she is at the bar with? Such implausibility steals from the story, IMO.
And Renee? The author started to move forward with some character development with Renee - she's sexually frustrated, opening up to her daughter in a way she never had before, letting her hair down a bit, etc. This was a very good start. I was encouraged while reading that. But then, after the briefest touch on this, she just went from caring mother mode into public bathroom stall slut mode in a blink of an eye. This is very lazy writing, IMO. And it's a missed opportunity.
For example, it could have been so much better, had they gone back to a VRBO, Lester sneaks into the house (because he can hack any electronic lock, after all), goes to Sarah's bedroom, Sarah does Sarah things, then Renee hears noises and wakes up and secretly watches them. But the author could have focused on Renee's internal battle with much more depth: Renee's initial shock at what she is witnessing, being horrified that her daughter is cheating, but at the same time, her long-untouched body is getting turned on. Feeling guilty about betraying her husband (even in a voyeuristic way), but not being able to control her response. Slowly but surely, she gives in, reaches her peak, then goes back to bed feeling both wonderful and guilty, unbeknownst to Sarah/Lester. He could then build upon her character development as the story moves forward. Heck, if the author wanted to keep Lester in control as the evil conductor, he could have had Lester looking up and noticing the end of Renee's orgasm and her fleeing back to her bedroom, and then he could develop the future story that way.
This chapter touches on this development with Renee, but not nearly enough. For old-school Renee to give in to her secret desires is one thing. But, to do so in a dirty public bathroom toilet stall? Yeah, pretty silly stuff. In the end, the glory hole in the dirty dive bar bathroom ruined it for me.
...and the chapter ended prematurely. It felt more like half a chapter, or 2/3rds of one.
P.S. Sarah is a vile character. Her discussion with Dan in the beginning was awful.
I think that when Dan started writing this, he was in a completely diff zone mentally. A dark place compared to his current state . Reason why it resonated so hard
If he had stopped writing Toxic Attraction after ch 8 and left it like Neighbor Chronicles. It would have gone down as a true classic . Probably among the Top 10 of all times.
He did not and now people will remember it as just another hotwife story. Past its time and prime
DarkStutzel
Active Member
- May 23, 2017
- 934
- 1,234
- 296
I was thinking about ending the chapters with Sarah leaving Dan. Does she still have the ring? Did Sarah take Lester's ring with her? Lester, in relation to Renee, would want to impress her. Lester would offer to be the driver who would host the Chicago night for the girls, something VIP like the time with Sarah. The girls' night would be better livened up by Jesses (I think that's the name) at the club and Lester using that to his advantage to irritate Dan even more. Rather than the scene with the black guy. Describing sex scenes with Lester in action is easy. Lester in jail talks about the inmates. Remembering something.Wow, that was pretty close, huh?
Well, too bad the author set the scene the way he did. Again, simply a silly, utterly non-believable scenario.
I get the author wants to bring the mother into the debauchery, and that's fine. Some people have spoken about their distaste in this regard, but I don't mind it. But the author could have accomplished this with a far less ridiculous setting/scenario than a damn glory hole in a dirty bathroom stall. Come on now, seriously? It's almost porn parody at this point. And as if anyone disappearing into a public bathroom for more than 120 seconds isn't going to raise the eyebrows of the people he/she is at the bar with, let alone disappearing for 10+ minutes. Such implausibility steals from the story, IMO.
And Renee? The author started to move forward with some character development with Renee - she's secretly sexually frustrated, opening up to her daughter in a way she never had before, letting her hair down a bit, etc. This was a very good start. I was encouraged while reading that. But then, after the briefest touch on this, she just went from caring mother mode into public bathroom stall slut mode in a blink of an eye. This is very lazy writing, IMO. And it's a missed opportunity.
For example, it could have been so much better, had the two women gone back to a VRBO, Lester sneaks into the house (because he can hack any electronic lock, after all), quietly goes to Sarah's bedroom, Sarah does Sarah things, then Renee hears noises and wakes up and secretly watches them. But the author could have focused on Renee's internal battle with much more depth: Renee's initial shock at what she is witnessing, being horrified that her daughter is cheating, but at the same time, her long-untouched body is getting turned on. Feeling guilty about betraying her husband (even in a voyeuristic way), but not being able to control her response. Slowly but surely, she gives in, reaches her peak, then runs back to bed feeling both wonderful and guilty, confused by the two simultaneous emotions - all unbeknownst to Sarah/Lester. He could then build upon her character development as the story moves forward.
Heck, if the author wanted to keep Lester in control as the evil conductor, he could have had Lester looking up while fucking Sarah, and noticing the end of Renee's orgasm and her fleeing back to her bedroom. Lester saw her, but Renee doesn't know he did. The author then could develop the future story that way. Instead of either of those 2 paths (or any number of others), we get a pseudo mother-daughter dirty toilet glory hole slutfest. No bueno.
This chapter touches on this development with Renee, but not nearly enough. For old-school Renee to give in to her secret desires is one thing. But, to do so in a dirty public bathroom toilet stall? Yeah, pretty silly stuff. In the end, the glory hole in the dirty dive bar bathroom ruined it for me.
...and the chapter ended prematurely. It felt more like half a chapter, or 2/3rds of one.
P.S. Sarah is a vile character. Her discussion with Dan in the beginning was awful.
It seems like continuity is a constant issue. Didn't Sarah just lose her job a night or 2 before? And their credit cards are already maxed out?
“This is how you were meant to be fucked. From behind in a dirty bathroom stall like a cheap whore. Squeeze my cock Sarah.”
The above statement aptly describes the total transformation, descent and fall of the once innocent, delectable and classy Ms. Sarah Williams. I know that 'art imitates life'; but I can not help but wonder if such a 180 degrees turnaround is actually possible in real life?
The above statement aptly describes the total transformation, descent and fall of the once innocent, delectable and classy Ms. Sarah Williams. I know that 'art imitates life'; but I can not help but wonder if such a 180 degrees turnaround is actually possible in real life?
Here mine is: I hate to say it, but this chapter I go along with all the critics, negative expounders, and naysayers. This chapter was a waste of Don's time writing it, the patreon web site for hosting it, and my time for reading it. It added nothing and became nothing more than genre cliche and falls heavily toward unbelievable tropism. Fine, you're in the bathroom fucking and the bathroom has a strong gay glory hole tool (no pun intended). The symbolism he uses doesn't really work as well in the ladies room as it would the men's but everything comes off??? What??? Why is that necessary? Don just got done using Unfaithful as a reflective hammer to hit the reader over the head unless they got it. I feel like Don was elbowing us in the collective rib and saying, "yeah, funny stuff, right, yeah, come on, you like it -- right?"
However, I digress. There is a bathroom stall scene in that movie that fit much better into the whole fucking in public thing, just based on clothes. With clothes also makes it that much more passionate, as they want each other so bad they can't wait to take off clothing, just do it with each other, NOW!!! I just can't wrap my head around too much here. There is virtually no story and nothing that advances anything worthwhile.
Sorry, everyone, but for this month, with no significant changes from Don, Naysayers Rule!
SMH.
Last edited:
Maybe they only had those $300 platinum cards that you have to put the money down in the bank to get one. Or, perhaps coincidence made it to where Dan was emptying out there credit with all the trips to DC, Virginia, Chicago, etc. Maybe he paid everything for the jobs, instead of letting them pay for travel. He's probably much more macho then. "Hey, Sarah, I just cleaned out our $25,000 discover card in airfare, hotels, and car rentals, you horny yet?" ROWR, hot stuff.
Just to say, I was a manager for a lot of years and I do not believe in coincidence, even in fictional settings.
My question has been, why the fuck has Lester not demanded she take off her pathetic loser husband's (using Lester language here) ring and wear Lester's much more virile ring? That seems like the simplest and most powerful statement to Dan and one that Lester would insist on her using. She could tell the girls that she lost Daddy's rings but this is just for now to make up for those rings from a man who loves her very much (They just think she is talking about Daddy and Sarah is digging in with an open insult to Dan right in front of their daughters).
She could have left her ring with Dan at home and told him to porn it, as I have another one now.
This is probably the least like chapter for me I just don't see where don going wit this story it's just not making any since Sara is a total slut now she really don't even need Lester any more for sex she done fucked at least 4 or 5 guys now and now you got a black dude gave her a phone number after she gave him some head this story just ain't goin no where Im ready to see him end this shit
I totally hear you.
I think the original charm (and heat) was when the author was letting the story progress naturally, a couple discovering their kinks and falling victim to a predator. Now, he's just trying get from sex scene to sex scene losing the charm that kept the story semi-grounded and hot.
He has Sarah totally gaslighting Dan, but anytime Dan wants to talk to her about it, she points to his dick as proof that he's enjoying it. And, it would have added a lot of depth if he actually focuses a bit on Sarah and Dan's dynamic and contrasting that with Sarah and Lester's dynamic. But, instead, right now the plot is - as others have mentioned - how slutty can Sarah become.
Regarding the grocery scene, he could've generated the same sympathy for Dan, with Dan cooking dinner for the kids while Sarah's getting banged in a dirty bathroom. Or, Dan at the hardware store getting spackle to fix the hole in the drywall and bumps into a neighbor, or Dan cleaning up the dinning room throwing away broken dishes, or Dan washing the kid's sheets...
The first ten chapters or so, there was a very natural flow that made the story intriguing.
Now - to be honest - I'm reading it to see how slutty Sarah will get and when Dan is going to *actually* call her out on it. Because, it's obvious she's not doing this "for Dan" anymore.
Last edited: