- Thread starter StraponCookie
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Okay, I played this first time up to the point where language switched. World was interesting, though I was hoping for more traditional fantasy world (more medieval), but at least there's plenty of different fantasy species (ugliest succubus I've seen in these games 
).
Usually I play without any hints but scene where I had to choose school project for younger daughter, didn't give any enough data on which to choose, so I started another game with the walkthrough (originally I was about to choose option for mechanical magic, hoping to make magically powered dildo for her...).
I see that this is developer's first project as everything on it is pretty much average at best. Right away I noticed camerawork as it often seemed like MC was 2,5m tall giant. Camera was set way too high, looking others too much downwards.
Also screen full of conversation choices is not pretty sight. It breaks normal flow of the conversation and immersion into game too many times. I would use choices only when there really is two options which lead into different paths.
Did I missed explanation on why older daughter has fluffy ears when neither of her parents is beastfolk? Adopted?
MC's dicksize changed quite much between scenes. Comparing for example, scene where MC pretends to sleep while given BJ and Marielle's BJ. On latter scene it's twice bigger.
And then I saw some typos:
Daugther instead of daughter at least five times.
(when meeting elven goddess)
With elve sentence -> elven
(helping younger daughter with schoolwork)
A paralel world -> parallel
(Succubus visiting home)
I already told you, more than one partner is absolutly normal. -> absolutely
(Exploring school)
Enter the toilet (Upcomming scene) -> upcoming
Sorry about this little criticism, but I'm just trying to help game get better.
What I liked about the game? Several pretty girls there. Marielle being prettiest so far. Loli option was nice. And the setting that gives plenty of ideas about future content. I'm hoping to find out who's really niece's daddy as backflash suggested something... Perhaps getting those forgotten gods into harem?
).Usually I play without any hints but scene where I had to choose school project for younger daughter, didn't give any enough data on which to choose, so I started another game with the walkthrough (originally I was about to choose option for mechanical magic, hoping to make magically powered dildo for her...).
I see that this is developer's first project as everything on it is pretty much average at best. Right away I noticed camerawork as it often seemed like MC was 2,5m tall giant. Camera was set way too high, looking others too much downwards.
Also screen full of conversation choices is not pretty sight. It breaks normal flow of the conversation and immersion into game too many times. I would use choices only when there really is two options which lead into different paths.
Did I missed explanation on why older daughter has fluffy ears when neither of her parents is beastfolk? Adopted?
MC's dicksize changed quite much between scenes. Comparing for example, scene where MC pretends to sleep while given BJ and Marielle's BJ. On latter scene it's twice bigger.
And then I saw some typos:
Daugther instead of daughter at least five times.
(when meeting elven goddess)
With elve sentence -> elven
(helping younger daughter with schoolwork)
A paralel world -> parallel
(Succubus visiting home)
I already told you, more than one partner is absolutly normal. -> absolutely
(Exploring school)
Enter the toilet (Upcomming scene) -> upcoming
Sorry about this little criticism, but I'm just trying to help game get better.
What I liked about the game? Several pretty girls there. Marielle being prettiest so far. Loli option was nice. And the setting that gives plenty of ideas about future content. I'm hoping to find out who's really niece's daddy as backflash suggested something... Perhaps getting those forgotten gods into harem?
- Jul 4, 2023
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- Mar 24, 2019
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If you are using the 'English Walkthrough' option, please note that it is a separate script with its own translation, and I have not proofread that script yet. If you found typos I missed in the regular English playthrough, thank you for reporting them and rest assured Cookie will have them corrected in the Beta. As I am the English proofreader for the game, those would be my bad. So.. sorry about those. They'll get fixed, and thanks again for reporting themOkay, I played this first time up to the point where language switched. World was interesting, though I was hoping for more traditional fantasy world (more medieval), but at least there's plenty of different fantasy species (ugliest succubus I've seen in these games
Usually I play without any hints but scene where I had to choose school project for younger daughter, didn't give any enough data on which to choose, so I started another game with the walkthrough (originally I was about to choose option for mechanical magic, hoping to make magically powered dildo for her...).
I see that this is developer's first project as everything on it is pretty much average at best. Right away I noticed camerawork as it often seemed like MC was 2,5m tall giant. Camera was set way too high, looking others too much downwards.
Also screen full of conversation choices is not pretty sight. It breaks normal flow of the conversation and immersion into game too many times. I would use choices only when there really is two options which lead into different paths.
Did I missed explanation on why older daughter has fluffy ears when neither of her parents is beastfolk? Adopted?
MC's dicksize changed quite much between scenes. Comparing for example, scene where MC pretends to sleep while given BJ and Marielle's BJ. On latter scene it's twice bigger.
And then I saw some typos:
Daugther instead of daughter at least five times.
(when meeting elven goddess)
With elve sentence -> elven
(helping younger daughter with schoolwork)
A paralel world -> parallel
(Succubus visiting home)
I already told you, more than one partner is absolutly normal. -> absolutely
(Exploring school)
Enter the toilet (Upcomming scene) -> upcoming
Sorry about this little criticism, but I'm just trying to help game get better.
What I liked about the game? Several pretty girls there. Marielle being prettiest so far. Loli option was nice. And the setting that gives plenty of ideas about future content. I'm hoping to find out who's really niece's daddy as backflash suggested something... Perhaps getting those forgotten gods into harem?
(About the MC penis size issue) -- That's a one-time error, the dev tried giving the MC a normal-sized cock there but then we realized he'd have to re-do every other scene where the MC's cock was shown, so it was a no-go. Please bear with that one until he has a chance to correct it
The screenful of options in the classroom scene was really unavoidable at that point in the story, since that's the MC re-introducing himself to his class. As far as other scenes go, this isn't really an "a-or-b" type of VN; sometimes there's more than two choices in a situation, and the game gives you the benefit of making those choices. You get a lot of player agency in this game. At least that's how I find it, especially when I'm proofing the alpha version and can see basically the whole picture. It might still be a bit rough around the edges in places, but there's a really good story here and it's a pleasure to proofread.
As for the fluffy ears thing -- heh. We'll all find out pretty soon, I do believe
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- Mar 14, 2022
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The current patch can be used (still a placeholder for future content)
Even if you describe the place could you send me a screen of it?
Got your point understand your point still things to improve
Every tail I currently find is static and I'm not happy with it.
But I will continue to look for a solution.
The other animal meses also have corresponding tails.
I'll have to work on the ears again thx for your feedback.
No need to apologize for criticism, I am always grateful for objective criticism.Okay, I played this first time up to the point where language switched. World was interesting, though I was hoping for more traditional fantasy world (more medieval), but at least there's plenty of different fantasy species (ugliest succubus I've seen in these games
Usually I play without any hints but scene where I had to choose school project for younger daughter, didn't give any enough data on which to choose, so I started another game with the walkthrough (originally I was about to choose option for mechanical magic, hoping to make magically powered dildo for her...).
I see that this is developer's first project as everything on it is pretty much average at best. Right away I noticed camerawork as it often seemed like MC was 2,5m tall giant. Camera was set way too high, looking others too much downwards.
Also screen full of conversation choices is not pretty sight. It breaks normal flow of the conversation and immersion into game too many times. I would use choices only when there really is two options which lead into different paths.
Did I missed explanation on why older daughter has fluffy ears when neither of her parents is beastfolk? Adopted?
MC's dicksize changed quite much between scenes. Comparing for example, scene where MC pretends to sleep while given BJ and Marielle's BJ. On latter scene it's twice bigger.
Sorry about this little criticism, but I'm just trying to help game get better.
What I liked about the game? Several pretty girls there. Marielle being prettiest so far. Loli option was nice. And the setting that gives plenty of ideas about future content. I'm hoping to find out who's really niece's daddy as backflash suggested something... Perhaps getting those forgotten gods into harem?
There are definitely some mistakes that need to be corrected, and I already have a list of them that I would be happy to add to.
The one with the dick, for example, is already on it, unfortunately I messed up the settings here.
I've already made a note of the camera and I'm still trying out what works best for me.
I will also adjust the many decisions a bit, but I still want to let the player decide whether he wants to experience the lore or not.
Many choices also have checkpoints for certain events or paths.
But I'm happy to come up with an interim solution, as I can certainly understand it.
I allready got an idea for an solution.
After the beta is finished (only small things are still missing), I will also work on the improvements of the previous one, i.e. work through my list of what has gathered so far.
I forgot to add thanks for bringing this to my attention
- Aug 16, 2023
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- Aug 16, 2023
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StraponCookie when the new content start if you are on english with walkthrough it switches to german. you need to play on english without walkthrough to see the new content in english
there is also a check of "True == True" should be a variable of some sort.
there is also a check of "True == True" should be a variable of some sort.
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- Mar 24, 2019
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As has been previously discussed earlier on this page, the English with walkthrough is a separate script, which has not yet been translated and proofed. This will be done for the Beta version. This applies not only to this version, but in general: Alpha versions of the game are incomplete in that respect, with the English walkthrough as well as various bugfixes being available in the Beta versions.
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If you're seeing errors in the English without walkthrough playthrough, then those are things I've missed in proofreading and you're more than welcome to let us know about them so Cookie can fix them. I do most of the English proofreading for the game, so if anything got missed in the no-walkthrough version then that's on me. (If the error is in the version with walkthrough, then as previously stated that script has not been done yet but will be ready when the Beta is released.)
- Sep 1, 2020
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Thank you.
You know what's funny? I kept seeing folks mention the walkthrough but for the life of me couldn't find it....I didn't realize it was built into the game... lol
Some errors would be:
You choose the loli-version.
Prob should be
You chose the loli-version. (since it's in the past)
-----
A lot of "almost errors" are just because of the awkward grammar since it's not typical English conversational. ie. Bus-kun
or
It's like there's a foggy cloud obstructing my thoughts. Could be: It's like something is blocking my memories.
or
What use is there in being called John if I can't enjoy life anymore...
or
I fervently hope that the higher beings.....
or
I am Succubus, and it's wonderful to finally have your presence here... Could be: My name is Succubus and it's wonderful to finally meet you.
or
To be clear, I encounter nothing but a mental fog when I try to remember.... Could be: I can't remember anything at the moment.
(of course I could be wrong...I usually am, lol.... I've just never heard anyone speak like any of the dialogue in the game before.)
===============
Things like that which just seem strange and it would have been nice to have it more conversational.
But it doesn't really matter much, I suppose. There were a couple of spelling errors but I'm not going
to go through it to find them.
Sorry if I offended either of you but it's not very enjoyable to read in it's current version. I was just hoping
that it was going to change.
I didn't see it before, so I'm sure you're doing a great job and have helped out a lot.
Cheers and Best of Luck
- Aug 16, 2023
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Right, ok.
But is it not possible to make them fallback to english without walkthrough?
- Mar 24, 2019
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Nah, I don't think either of us are that easily offended lol. I can't really tell without referents, but it looks like most of what you're quoting is from Day 1...? With Succubus specifically, her dialogue is intentionally awkward. That's just Succubus, it's how she is. For the rest, I'm sorry you didn't like the grammatical choices there -- but my dude, you should really have seen what the MTL had done to this script before we proofread it. The only part that seriously looks like somethng we missed there is the part about being called John (or whatever the player chooses to name the MC). I honestly don't understand that part myself; thanks for catching that one.
- Mar 4, 2018
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After playing a bit I am interested in seeing more. However it seems like the translation to english is really not so smooth. Don't get me wrong, the effort being put into world building is a welcome surprise. But as an example, the way John addresses his students when being introduced to them for the first time comes off as really mechanical. It seems super casual, but surely you could have given him a roster to do a roll call from and avoid just saying stuff like "You Doggirl answer my questions." and say "Roxane, please stand up and let's chat."
This way of addressing each other is really stiff, if John is really a victim of Truck-kun it's hard to imagine he would be so incredibly blunt when addressing people. I want to tell him to be polite and have some manners. Especially because he seems to be a pretty level headed guy. Even more so because his mission requires some measure of emotional skill, like empathy and compassion. The nebulous "Charisma" dispensed by his warlock patron...I mean Succubus sounds kinda like a cop out to be honest. I can't say I like the idea of the mind control so much unless it's a thing we can choose to avoid or abuse. Choices like that are pretty neat.
So I guess what I'm saying is we're being presented the role of being a playboy philanthropist psyker but we talk like a bigot, it's just kinda jarring.
Oh right I kinda feel like this stuck out too. I'd suggest the Hyena chick refer to ppl she views as beneath her as betas and/or bitches rather then small dicks, sounds just as abrasive and more domineering without sounding like a playground insult. Might even consider that just being how she talks regardless of path selected. I'm sure teaching her some manners could be fun for some and being put in their place would also be fun for others. Talking shit is a fine art and a core skill to being a bully after all.
The mermaid situation is a little confusing, if they aren't in the sea what are they offering that gets them special treatment? Are the rivers and lakes big enough to warrant some sort of economic benefit to and from merfolk? If they're being kept in actual reservoirs I just don't see how it works unless they somehow are processing waste water into clean water...which would be pretty funny and totally worth noting.
I think you have an interesting project and I hope you enjoy working on it, it just needs some polish.
This way of addressing each other is really stiff, if John is really a victim of Truck-kun it's hard to imagine he would be so incredibly blunt when addressing people. I want to tell him to be polite and have some manners. Especially because he seems to be a pretty level headed guy. Even more so because his mission requires some measure of emotional skill, like empathy and compassion. The nebulous "Charisma" dispensed by his warlock patron...I mean Succubus sounds kinda like a cop out to be honest. I can't say I like the idea of the mind control so much unless it's a thing we can choose to avoid or abuse. Choices like that are pretty neat.
So I guess what I'm saying is we're being presented the role of being a playboy philanthropist psyker but we talk like a bigot, it's just kinda jarring.
Oh right I kinda feel like this stuck out too. I'd suggest the Hyena chick refer to ppl she views as beneath her as betas and/or bitches rather then small dicks, sounds just as abrasive and more domineering without sounding like a playground insult. Might even consider that just being how she talks regardless of path selected. I'm sure teaching her some manners could be fun for some and being put in their place would also be fun for others. Talking shit is a fine art and a core skill to being a bully after all.
The mermaid situation is a little confusing, if they aren't in the sea what are they offering that gets them special treatment? Are the rivers and lakes big enough to warrant some sort of economic benefit to and from merfolk? If they're being kept in actual reservoirs I just don't see how it works unless they somehow are processing waste water into clean water...which would be pretty funny and totally worth noting.
I think you have an interesting project and I hope you enjoy working on it, it just needs some polish.
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Most of this I'll leave for Cookie since what you're talking about are artistic choices, not translation or proofreading errors. As for Hyna specifically, the way she refers to those who haven't demonsrated their dominance over her is, quite simply, a character trait. In her worldview, it takes a big dick to dominate, thus lesser beings must have small dicks. It's meant to be more original than the overused and generic "beta" or "bitch" or even "pussy" insults, and honestly I thought it was a simple but effective way for the author to express a hyena's disdain for "lesser" species (and weaker males of her own kind, who from her way of speaking we would assume to have micro-weenies rather than big, proud cocks.)
- Mar 14, 2022
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I'll go through the points one by one:
Paragraph 1:
The translation of the first few days is still more of a 1-to-1 translation, so I'll work on that.
But Roxanne is a special case:
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Paragraph 2:
Here the whole thing also suffers a bit from the translation, on the other hand due to the rather “silent” nature of the MC, the rework will also improve a lot here.
The mind control (or rather the heavy use of magic) remains optional, but I'll make some contextual adjustments here.
Paragraph 3
The hyena girl:
Adaptation from small-dick to beta/slut will be gladly implemented.
My thought in this regard requires a basic knowledge of the anatomy of the spotted hyena (the so-called pseudopenis) and a reference to the “dick comparison” of pubescent boys.
Their behavior is quite similar if not identical, but I will adjust some subtleties here as well.
Paragraph 4:
I will add the mermaid dilemma with Lore, here the “why” is definitely still a big question mark.
And yes, I'm having fun with my project, but unfortunately time is against me, which is why updates have always taken so long so far.
But I'm trying to free up more time for it.
Thanks
Pretty good start.
It is a bit annoying how contradictory our instructions from the succubus are. ''I want you to do good work that will draw a lot of attention to you and make you a target. To counter this, I've imbued you with powerful magic. Don't use your powerful magic though cause it will draw attention to you!''. Still logical enough though.
I guess I have one thing I'm still not clear on. It is my understanding that the body the MC is inhabiting was already prepared by the succubus from birth (charisma, mana) and even his duty to help elves and non-humans was pre-ordained. If that's the case and the original guy had everything at his disposal that we now have, why were we needed at all? Why couldn't the succubus just help the original guy? Was that the original plan and the succubus had to pivot when the original guy was attacked? Or did she always know that guy was gonna die and have to be replaced. If I had to make a guess, I would say she originally didn't want to interfere too much but the situation got so bad with the original dude getting attacked that she had to get involved more.
Even then, I guess I just don't understand what made us the guy she picked. We aren't bringing anything to the table ourselves. All our talents and abilities are provided to us by her rather than being innate.
It is a bit annoying how contradictory our instructions from the succubus are. ''I want you to do good work that will draw a lot of attention to you and make you a target. To counter this, I've imbued you with powerful magic. Don't use your powerful magic though cause it will draw attention to you!''. Still logical enough though.
I guess I have one thing I'm still not clear on. It is my understanding that the body the MC is inhabiting was already prepared by the succubus from birth (charisma, mana) and even his duty to help elves and non-humans was pre-ordained. If that's the case and the original guy had everything at his disposal that we now have, why were we needed at all? Why couldn't the succubus just help the original guy? Was that the original plan and the succubus had to pivot when the original guy was attacked? Or did she always know that guy was gonna die and have to be replaced. If I had to make a guess, I would say she originally didn't want to interfere too much but the situation got so bad with the original dude getting attacked that she had to get involved more.
Even then, I guess I just don't understand what made us the guy she picked. We aren't bringing anything to the table ourselves. All our talents and abilities are provided to us by her rather than being innate.
- Mar 4, 2018
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According to Lilia as the new guy we're more forward and better at making out. So we're the chosen pervert spirit and he was a regular guy?