VN Ren'Py Triple Ex [v0.24] [Azrayal]

[Azrayal]

Your path to being a developer may be the most common story out there. I would say that if your goal was solely to make a story for your own amusement, you would never had made it available to the public; but if your goal was for other people to enjoy the story, then you might take some advice that would allow more people to enjoy it. As you say, you are a new developer and you are learning your craft. Would it not stand to reason that you might have some things to learn as a writer as well? My guess is that you never intended Deb to be one of the most hated characters since Eric in BB, nor for a great many players to turn on Jules. If I am correct, then you have created some disparity between the perception that many people have and the one you intended to create. As a result, would it not make sense to make changes to the story to allow more people to see your vision.

You again make some excellent points ptahn. Deb was always intended to be a character you either love or hate, like Marmite. There is still a few things we have yet to learn about her, whether that makes any difference, that's for the reader to decide. As for Jules, I was a little surprised that people dislike her to a similar degree as Deb.

Even though the Deb/Jules scene is skippable, I wanted it to happen as I was hoping it showed that the MC was comfortable to a large degree with his relationship with Deb, and that after the MC's revelation of his sexual past, it is Deb that is beginning to feel uncomfortable, but with herself. For me as the creator I know this, but my lack of writing skills probably hasn't helped to portray this as well as I would have liked.

If you made a mistake in a render, would you not go back and fix it?

If it was just a render, I would ptahn. I have mentioned in a previous post that redoing an update and releasing it without new content would feel wrong to me.
I have an old, one system setup in which I manage run a 1050Ti and it does the job for what I need, only slowly. So at present, I'd prefer to spend my time creating new renders and making changes to the upcoming story if needed, rather than re-writing previous updates. This may sound really odd, but if I were to do that, I feel the whole process would begin to seem more like a job than a hobby and that may take away the fun aspect for me.

That doesn't mean that I do not listen to advice. The whole change in format from a standard kinetic story was due to comments from the readers. I had also intended for there to be sexual content between the MC and Jules, but due to some people's reaction to Jules I have now made that their own choice. I will also make this the case for any potential sexual content in future updates.

I thank you for taking the time to read the story and also for your comments and advice.

 

[anne O'nymous]

You're very welcome for the compliment.

You suddenly forgot how to quote ?

 

[eddie987]

As for Jules, I was a little surprised that people dislike her to a similar degree as Deb.

Honestly, I might dislike her even more than Deb after this last update and that says a lot coming from me... From what you wrote I can understand what you wanted to do and it probably makes sense story-wise, but from my point of view it was something completely different. Let me try to explain.

You have a character flirting with the MC for as long as he's in the US. She's like a second mother to his daughter and a friendly face that welcomes him to her place and tries to make him feel better after the first few interactions with her that ended up poorly. So she's someone you (as a player) are supposed to like, right?

So what did you decide to do next? Have the most disliked character bang her... (having the MC jerk off while watching live video feed of them, doesn't make it any better, it just makes him a cuck) Then you have that person breaking it off with her and she instantly goes back to flirting with the MC... I guess you wanted to show that "she went for the threesome because she wanted to bang him", but if that was the case she would have just rejected Deb after he said he wasn't going to join them.
*By the way, I still have no clue why Milly had to see them cuddling naked in bed if they weren't supposed to be a thing...

And to top it all off we now have another guy she immediately starts to flirt with (just because he texted her, because I guess that's all it takes for the "new and improved" Jules) and she basically gives the MC an ultimatum that if he won't fuck her, that guy will... And that's even if you decide to finger her in the sauna! Nothing sexier than a woman who really wants you, but already has a back-up plan and a guy she barely knows waiting in line...

Do the women in this house have some shared mental issue? Should I feel bad for making fun of them? Is there something weird in the water they've been drinking? If that's the case the MC should take Astrid and run away as soon as possible! One of them shows her love to the MC by banging his wife behind his back, hitting on his daughter, making sure he'll see her banging someone else and specifically someone he's been flirting with, and the other one shows her interest by banging his sister and telling him that she's ready to jump on the first cock available!

The thing is that the MC never actually rejected her, but she keeps using it as an excuse to bang someone else! And no the threesome doesn't count, because it wasn't a one on one thing, unless of course saint Deb put that idea in her head. Even when you "reject" her in the sauna (I went that way, because she was already Deb's used toy at that point and I didn't care for her anymore) he's already motorboating her ffs and he just wouldn't go any further because he didn't want them to get caught, so how on earth is that a rejection and a sign he's not interested? Should I start motorboating the women I'm not interested in? Is this a new way to reject someone?

Making her keep saying that she's actually interested in the MC doesn't make her look any better, it just makes her look cheaper. She's basically willing to bang anyone at this point and he's just at the top of her list. So now she looks like a cheap hoe who's just desperate for some cock, but hey, you're her first option! Or your cock at least... Is this something that was supposed to make her more attractive? Did she really had to go from mature and trustworthy, one of the few people you could count on and probably the only "normal" one in the house (probably because she's not related to the rest...), to "sex-crazed schoolgirl" just because she met Deb?

Funny thing is, and I've probably wrote it somewhere here (I'm too lazy to search right now), Julia and Astrid were the only women I was interested in when this game started...

 

[Drafilgame]

Hello,

Azrayal, Just a little message to see if you could (in case you have the time) send me a private message to allow me to offer you a personal review and possibly a little help for your game that I liked (which is quite rare).

 

[TundraLupus]

Sincerely the only thing that I would like in this update would be

Spoiler

You don't have permission to view the spoiler content. Log in or register now.

this part is because I dumbly decided to click on show post from someones I decided to ignore, so feel free to not read it

Spoiler

You don't have permission to view the spoiler content. Log in or register now.

I debated not posting this second part, so if you have a problem whith it just PM me.

 

[Osamabeenfappin]

Honestly, I might dislike her even more than Deb after this last update and that says a lot coming from me... From what you wrote I can understand what you wanted to do and it probably makes sense story-wise, but from my point of view it was something completely different. Let me try to explain.

You have a character flirting with the MC for as long as he's in the US. She's like a second mother to his daughter and a friendly face that welcomes him to her place and tries to make him feel better after the first few interactions with her that ended up poorly. So she's someone you (as a player) are supposed to like, right?

So what did you decide to do next? Have the most disliked character bang her... (having the MC jerk off while watching live video feed of them, doesn't make it any better, it just makes him a cuck) Then you have that person breaking it off with her and she instantly goes back to flirting with the MC... I guess you wanted to show that "she went for the threesome because she wanted to bang him", but if that was the case she would have just rejected Deb after he said he wasn't going to join them.
*By the way, I still have no clue why Milly had to see them cuddling naked in bed if they weren't supposed to be a thing...

And to top it all off we now have another guy she immediately starts to flirt with (just because he texted her, because I guess that's all it takes for the "new and improved" Jules) and she basically gives the MC an ultimatum that if he won't fuck her, that guy will... And that's even if you decide to finger her in the sauna! Nothing sexier than a woman who really wants you, but already has a back-up plan and a guy she barely knows waiting in line...

Do the women in this house have some shared mental issue? Should I feel bad for making fun of them? Is there something weird in the water they've been drinking? If that's the case the MC should take Astrid and run away as soon as possible! One of them shows her love to the MC by banging his wife behind his back, hitting on his daughter, making sure he'll see her banging someone else and specifically someone he's been flirting with, and the other one shows her interest by banging his sister and telling him that she's ready to jump on the first cock available!

The thing is that the MC never actually rejected her, but she keeps using it as an excuse to bang someone else! And no the threesome doesn't count, because it wasn't a one on one thing, unless of course saint Deb put that idea in her head. Even when you "reject" her in the sauna (I went that way, because she was already Deb's used toy at that point and I didn't care for her anymore) he's already motorboating her ffs and he just wouldn't go any further because he didn't want them to get caught, so how on earth is that a rejection and a sign he's not interested? Should I start motorboating the women I'm not interested in? Is this a new way to reject someone?

Making her keep saying that she's actually interested in the MC doesn't make her look any better, it just makes her look cheaper. She's basically willing to bang anyone at this point and he's just at the top of her list. So now she looks like a cheap hoe who's just desperate for some cock, but hey, you're her first option! Or your cock at least... Is this something that was supposed to make her more attractive? Did she really had to go from mature and trustworthy, one of the few people you could count on and probably the only "normal" one in the house (probably because she's not related to the rest...), to "sex-crazed schoolgirl" just because she met Deb?

Funny thing is, and I've probably wrote it somewhere here (I'm too lazy to search right now), Julia and Astrid were the only women I was interested in when this game started...

Bro,she lost me when MC was like why did you listen to Deb,and she was like Deb sounds serious.

I was like WTF?? If Deb sounds so serious why didn't the ex contact Deb to protect the daughter. Its not like they weren't in contact.

 

[KeiNineX]

You again make some excellent points ptahn. Deb was always intended to be a character you either love or hate, like Marmite. There is still a few things we have yet to learn about her, whether that makes any difference, that's for the reader to decide. As for Jules, I was a little surprised that people dislike her to a similar degree as Deb.

Even though the Deb/Jules scene is skippable, I wanted it to happen as I was hoping it showed that the MC was comfortable to a large degree with his relationship with Deb, and that after the MC's revelation of his sexual past, it is Deb that is beginning to feel uncomfortable, but with herself. For me as the creator I know this, but my lack of writing skills probably hasn't helped to portray this as well as I would have liked.


If it was just a render, I would ptahn. I have mentioned in a previous post that redoing an update and releasing it without new content would feel wrong to me.
I have an old, one system setup in which I manage run a 1050Ti and it does the job for what I need, only slowly. So at present, I'd prefer to spend my time creating new renders and making changes to the upcoming story if needed, rather than re-writing previous updates. This may sound really odd, but if I were to do that, I feel the whole process would begin to seem more like a job than a hobby and that may take away the fun aspect for me.

That doesn't mean that I do not listen to advice. The whole change in format from a standard kinetic story was due to comments from the readers. I had also intended for there to be sexual content between the MC and Jules, but due to some people's reaction to Jules I have now made that their own choice. I will also make this the case for any potential sexual content in future updates.

I thank you for taking the time to read the story and also for your comments and advice.

I think the reason people started to dislike Jules she had like complete personality change. At the beginning she seemed like she was going to be the "romance" option, she seemed caring towards Milly and to some extent to you, she was like the only person who was nice to you so I thought she was going to be like a "slow burn gf" kind of character but then Deb starts groping her 24/7 and suddenly she does a compete 180 and becomes this horny sex beast that is willing to fuck "everyone". This is not really a complaint to your writing though. Her character just developed in the way most people don't find appealing which sucks because she's one of the few characters that I liked since the beginning, now it's only Astrid (please don't ruin her too). And let's be honest, another reason is that Deb is such a hated character that everyone she touches is like dead to most.

Complaint to the writing would be her reason to sleeping with Deb. I don't know if I misunderstood but from what I gathered her reason for sleeping with Deb was that she expected that you were going to join them and she would eventually get you? How does that make any sense? It's like if I said "I really like this girl, I am going to let her know that I'm interested in her then I am going to fuck her friend and let her know about it and expect her to join us so I can get her in the end." It just doesn't make any sense to me. Maybe I just missed something idk.

 

[TundraLupus]

I think the reason people started to dislike Jules she had like complete personality change. At the beginning she seemed like she was going to be the "romance" option, she seemed caring towards Milly and to some extent to you, she was like the only person who was nice to you so I thought she was going to be like a "slow burn gf" kind of character but then Deb starts groping her 24/7 and suddenly she does a compete 180 and becomes this horny sex beast that is willing to fuck "everyone". This is not really a complaint to your writing though. Her character just developed in the way most people don't find appealing which is sucks because she's one of the few characters that I liked since the beginning, now it's only Astrid (please don't ruin her too). And let's be honest, another reason is that Deb is such a hated character that everyone she touches is like dead to most.

Complaint to the writing would be her reason to sleeping with Deb. I don't know if I misunderstood but from what I gathered her reason for sleeping with Deb was that she expected that you were going to join them and she would eventually get you? How does that make any sense? It's like if I said "I really like this girl, I am going to let her know that I'm interested in her then I am going to fuck her friend and let her know about it and expect her to join us so I can get her in the end." It just doesn't make any sense to me. Maybe I just missed something idk.

I'm only talking about the second part because it is the third time I read it, so I believe that the reason she slept with Deb is that she finds her attractive, but the reason why she was game for the threesome was that she knows that Deb's relationship with the MC is something already established and that for her to be able to have a good and honest relationship with him she has to accept that, also because the MC is slow, and I mean really slow in the emotional department so she thought that going through the already existing relationship between him and Deb was the easiest way to get what she wanted.

 

[Osamabeenfappin]

I'm only talking about the second part because it is the third time I read it, so I believe that the reason she slept with Deb is that she finds her attractive, but the reason why she was game for the threesome was that she knows that Deb's relationship with the MC is something already established and that for her to be able to have a good and honest relationship with him she has to accept that, also because the MC is slow, and I mean really slow in the emotional department so she thought that going through the already existing relationship between him and Deb was the easiest way to get what she wanted.

Fair enough. Now let's talk about how MC may have fingered her in the sauna room,and like 2 scenes later,she's unsure whether or not the MC is showing interest in her.

Not only that she wants to fuck a guy she's known for a few hours?

 

[TundraLupus]

Fair enough. Now let's talk about how MC may have fingered her in the sauna room,and like 2 scenes later,she's unsure whether or not the MC is showing interest in her.

Not only that she wants to fuck a guy she's known for a few hours?

About fucking the other guy, she is horny.

But yeah, kinda weird, but think like this, it has been days of advances and the MC never takes the initiative, maybe she just wanted a definitive answer.

As I said in my other post, I would prefer a third option of saying that she could and should see other people and her and the MC could still be together, but that is probably just me.

 

[Osamabeenfappin]

About fucking the other guy, she is horny.

But yeah, kinda weird, but think like this, it has been days of advances and the MC never takes the initiative, maybe she just wanted a definitive answer.

As I said in my other post, I would prefer a third option of saying that she could and should see other people and her and the MC could still be together, but that is probably just me.

I personally think fingering her is a pretty darn good indicator of interest. And also amusingly she's now been fingered by both siblings. She's 2 for on the siblings. She's been sexual with the 'dead ' ex wife.(who may be even shittier than Deb.) So nows shes 3 for 3 ,and I'd bet its a matter of time before she does something with Milly. That's just a hunch though,going off the first Jules,Milly scene.

 

[KeiNineX]

I'm only talking about the second part because it is the third time I read it, so I believe that the reason she slept with Deb is that she finds her attractive, but the reason why she was game for the threesome was that she knows that Deb's relationship with the MC is something already established and that for her to be able to have a good and honest relationship with him she has to accept that, also because the MC is slow, and I mean really slow in the emotional department so she thought that going through the already existing relationship between him and Deb was the easiest way to get what she wanted.

But that is kind of what I am saying, that that strategy is just ridiculous. In order to get to you, she fucked Deb and expected you to join them and be with her. I just can't get my head around how can someone come up with a plan this stupid. It just doesn't make sense to me.

 

[eddie987]

But that is kind of what I am saying, that that strategy is just ridiculous. In order to get to you, she fucked Deb and expected you to join them and be with her. I just can't get my head around how can someone come up with a plan this stupid. It just doesn't make sense to me.

Maybe Deb told her to do it and she sounded serious...

 

[thorin0815]

I don't want to start a fight here, but aren't Deb's actions to be considered as NTR stuff? Even if Deb and the MC are in an open relationship, she does what she wants with MC's love interests.

Edit: Whoops, my bad, only looked at the spoiler tags, not the main tags. ;-)

 

[DA22]

Part of the trouble is that Deb is and should be an established love interest of MC and that is also how dev sees her when he looks at her from perspective of MC, she is his lover for 20 years or so and he loves Deb. Many of us though are in a way fighting our MC since we know more about Deb and when we look at her we do not see a good lover, friend and sister, but someone that kept important secrets from MC, undermines him, goes behind his back and is all around not super trustable and then to top it off also competes over the girls with our MC.

Well the thing is part of the problem is with us, part of the problem is also that Dev made it so incredibly easy for us to not see Deb as we should, both by how Deb and MC act and of course the darker secrets Deb kept.

 

[ptahn]

Sincerely the only thing that I would like in this update would be

Spoiler

You don't have permission to view the spoiler content. Log in or register now.

this part is because I dumbly decided to click on show post from someones I decided to ignore, so feel free to not read it

Spoiler

You don't have permission to view the spoiler content. Log in or register now.

I debated not posting this second part, so if you have a problem whith it just PM me.

I have freely admitted in a post in this thread that I make suggestions to developers about content. I suggest things that I would like to see, or that others might like to see, or that would make the game more marketable. You just did it in this post suggesting what you would like to for Jules. It's up to the developer to decide whether to listen or not. Recently a developer who was struggling took a bunch of suggestions and increased his patron count by 25% in one month. I don't know which post you are referencing but non-NTR games always make more money than NTR games, that's no secret.

 

[TundraLupus]

I personally think fingering her is a pretty darn good indicator of interest. And also amusingly she's now been fingered by both siblings. She's 2 for on the siblings. She's been sexual with the 'dead ' ex wife.(who may be even shittier than Deb.) So nows shes 3 for 3 ,and I'd bet its a matter of time before she does something with Milly. That's just a hunch though,going off the first Jules,Milly scene.

She didn't, also this is all about sex for her right now, and as I said the Mc is wishy-washy at the moment, and his kinda-girlfriend just came into the scene, so my guess is that the rationale was "he will not have time for all of us" don't forget the whole plot besides the sex, so I believe it was more of "can you guarantee that this will end up with your dick in me or should I look elsewhere"

But that is kind of what I am saying, that that strategy is just ridiculous. In order to get to you, she fucked Deb and expected you to join them and be with her. I just can't get my head around how can someone come up with a plan this stupid. It just doesn't make sense to me.

I believe that you didn't understand what I meant, she fucked Deb because she was horny and found Deb attractive, she wanted the threesome for the other reason plus because she finds Deb attractive, and it wasn't her plan, Deb proposed it because the Mc is slow to take advantage of situations, so this was the fastest way to get what everyone wanted, the MC fucks Jules and Deb, Deb fucks the MC and Jules, and Jules fucks the MC and Deb.

 

[TundraLupus]

Part of the trouble is that Deb is and should be an established love interest of MC and that is also how dev sees her when he looks at her from perspective of MC, she is his lover for 20 years or so and he loves Deb. Many of us though are in a way fighting our MC since we know more about Deb and when we look at her we do not see a good lover, friend and sister, but someone that kept important secrets from MC, undermines him, goes behind his back and is all around not super trustable and then to top it off also competes over the girls with our MC.

Well the thing is part of the problem is with us, part of the problem is also that Dev made it so incredibly easy for us to not see Deb as we should, both by how Deb and MC act and of course the darker secrets Deb kept.

Just a correction, we know different things from the MC, he is an old man, and they have been together for 20 years, and siblings since forever, so she might have done things for him that we don't know about, things that might even counterweight what we know, not coming at you, just a thought I had.

I actually agree with your conclusion and that is why I hate that we know things that the MC doesn't.

 

[KeiNineX]

I believe that you didn't understand what I meant, she fucked Deb because she was horny and found Deb attractive, she wanted the threesome for the other reason plus because she finds Deb attractive, and it wasn't her plan, Deb proposed it because the Mc is slow to take advantage of situations, so this was the fastest way to get what everyone wanted, the MC fucks Jules and Deb, Deb fucks the MC and Jules, and Jules fucks the MC and Deb.

I think we play with a different mindset so we view things differently because that's not what MC iin my game wanted at all. I hate Deb, you don't. As soon as Jules started fucking Deb all my interest I had in her went completely out of the window, it was not only because of that also like I said, she had a complete personality shift. So yea, I understand that she fucked her because she was horny but at that point I already had 0 interest in her that that whole plan with the threesome sounded just ridiculous. If at that point you still like her and still like Deb then maybe it makes sense idk.

 

[ptahn]

Part of the trouble is that Deb is and should be an established love interest of MC and that is also how dev sees her when he looks at her from perspective of MC, she is his lover for 20 years or so and he loves Deb. Many of us though are in a way fighting our MC since we know more about Deb and when we look at her we do not see a good lover, friend and sister, but someone that kept important secrets from MC, undermines him, goes behind his back and is all around not super trustable and then to top it off also competes over the girls with our MC.

Well the thing is part of the problem is with us, part of the problem is also that Dev made it so incredibly easy for us to not see Deb as we should, both by how Deb and MC act and of course the darker secrets Deb kept.

This is exactly the issue about which I have been "crying." My opinion is that there should be some rewriting to align what the developer wants us to see and what we are actually seeing. He said himself that he intended Jules to be an LI, but with all the hate for her now, her content will be optional. He is changing the future of the game because of a mistake in the past. Why not fix the past mistake and the proceed with the game as intended? I have been accused of trying to change the game. I'm not trying to change it, I'm trying to get the perceptions of the developer and the players to match so that the game does not have to change.