Lilan's Act 2 condition is lilanRevisitFlag == False and territoryList[1].miniQuestFinishTurn + 50 <= turnCount and lilanCharm == False and territoryList[1].miniQuestDone
i.e.
A. Didn't play this before.
B. Finished Oryeonguk at least 50 turns earlier.
C. Didn't take her charm (i.e. fucked her) when played her quest originally.
D. Finished the Oryeonguk quest
If you wish to know which of these conditions fail:
A. Click Shift + O (the letter). A console will appear (You need Unren, or similar)
B. Type each of these, followed by Enter:
lilanRevisitFlag == False (+ Enter)
territoryList[1].miniQuestFinishTurn + 50 <= turnCount (+ Enter)
lilanCharm == False (+ Enter)
territoryList[1].miniQuestDone (+ Enter)
Note if any of these returned Fail.
For me, Charm was False (I 100% fucked her, while her husband was tied to the stool).
I had to enter "$ lilanCharm = False" (+ enter) & it cleared it up.
As soon as I went back to the map screen, the star icon was available.
(Thanks
Doorknob22, for this!)