# Village Slut Transformation Treatment
Overall, I think it's an awesome concept, the production values are top notch, but I think it needs some polishing to make it really shine, and I got some notes.
:
* I'm pretty sure people don't usually say "by the way" when talking to themselves, but maybe they do, weirdly, if you think about the purpose of "by the way."
* The ending where she hesitates to knock on the door is pointless.
* The maid outfit that Lily gets from Susan is from the Victorian era, the 1800s. Why not something with a short skirt and plunging neckline?
* The house cleaning bit it good for exploring the house initially and as a way to lead Lily into other events, but it's pointless otherwise.
* The blond dude with the red striped shirt should've been taking a video of Lily when she bent over. That would lead to the boob shot, then the hand job, then it should've been a blow job, then pussy fucking, then ass fucking. If she says no at any point he sends video and pics to the whole town. Then, they treat her like a total slut nonstop. Everybody in town throwing all kinds of verbal slut jabs, ass grabbing, pussy grabbing, and other humiliations all day long. I have no idea why dude got soft all of a sudden, that makes no sense to me. If you win a fight over a bitch, you expect more from her, not less. On an animal level, that implies ownership.
* Lily suddenly whole heartily wanting to be groped by the Pale Man doesn't make sense. Her body instinctively responding works, but her internal dialog should be all guilt and shame until she gets totally broken.
* Lily seeing modeling a swimsuit as something pornographic doesn't make sense. Unnerving, awkward, exciting sure, but suddenly jumping to thoughts of masturbation doesn't follow, it works in the later masturbation scene though.
* There's some unnecessary text. For example, when George is talking to Lily about cleaning his house, everything from "my house is much smaller, so it will be quicker" to "anyway, I will not skimp on the money. You will be surprised how much you will earn," can all be condensed into a single sentence like "I will pay you handsomely, my dear" or "I'll make it worth your while, sweetheart." "Well, if you ever decide-" is wishy-washy and serves no useful purpose. "Ask Susan for my address, I will be waiting for you" is way stronger and beautifully sinister by itself. Some of the narration like "Lilly didn't want to continue the conversation with them" and all the narration in the black transition to the homeward bound bus trip with Lily and Susan serves no purpose. It's obvious that she doesn't want to talk to them in the first case and it's obvious they're on the bus home in the second. Pretty much every word should have a clear purpose that isn't redundant.
* That rendition of Auld Lang Syne is fucking beautiful, and the placement of it is brilliant!
* I hope there'll be a shot of Jack's fingers massaging Lily's pussy behind the bar at some point.
* Adding a slut point for smoking is a bit grandma.
* Please, no nose rings, they just look like buggers.
* Ideally, I think there should be two (or three) main paths, with maybe some forks. One, she leans into the whole slut persona 100%. Two, she complies to their coercion, their pressure, their mind games, but she's full of guilt and shame until the end where they finally break her spirit in an all holes filled bukkake scene. Three, the one no one really cares about at all, the path where she perseveres and maintains her virtue through all the assaults and temptations.
* A path where she ends up being forced to marry Bobby would be fucking awesome.
* An ending where she gets broken by the night club in that all holes, bukkake scene I talked about would be awesome.
* The way she turns from 100% chaste to full on slut doesn't compute to me. The way people usually break is they stonewall you for a long time. Then, they crack, and then there's a chaotic collapse. Then, there's rock bottom. Then, they're putty. Some times it's quicker and sometimes it's slower.
