JOHNDOE_1986
New Member
- Oct 2, 2018
- 12
- 6
- 22
its enjoyable but clearly needs a script edit plot says mc needed a place to stay and rally offered up sharing his bedroom for $ which his family needs that's all good but it has issues after that concept it feels as if everyone treats mc as a part of the family which he isn't supposed to be the mc is meant to be friends with rally but it seems like a first meeting situation then the mom is tempted but reacts as if he was her son and isn't allowed to have relations with him and some minor spelling issues and the inclusion of the key words like friend/landlord is overly done in a weird way not natural at all