Have you ever thought that maybe a dev "forces" you to have sex with a specific NPC because the dev wants to tell a specific story that involves said NPC? Have you ever thought that maybe a game "forces" a specific fetish because the game is about that fetish and/or that what you consider a fetish isn't a fetish for others to begin with? Have you ever thought that a dev develops the game he wants in the way he wants because it's his game and he wants to have fun while doing it?
First VN I played was Sisterly Lust. My first run through, I did not have sex with any of the sisters or the mother. Just the side characters. I made poor choices. Next run through, that changed and I had a harem with the whole family. Awesome game! You can have normal relations with others, incest relations with all, some, or none. That was a great first VN.
Acting Lessons. Love this game. Love Melissa. Megan, who the story mostly follows, very meh. Didn't care for her at all. Still had to have a relationship with her. Still had sex with her. Did not like that at all. The game allowed you to have a non-relationship with Mel, while continuing with Megan, and Mel was still at the house with you. Why couldn't you do it the other way? I could have been very supportive of Megan throughout her time, to follow the story arc, while only dating Melissa. Events would have played out the same way.
In Melody, you had the option of doing anal, but if you didn't want to, you could avoid it.
Personal pet peeve of mine, is cumming on a girls face. I personally find it degrading. I have never done it IRL, I avoid porn that has it, and if I have a choice in the game, I will choose something else. A lot of games don't give you the option, especially in a "group" setting. Unless the NPC is a bitch and I really dislike her, that's the only time I find it acceptable.
By providing options, such as in Sisterly Lust, who I assume most people play for the incest story line, you do have options if you don't want to do the incest route. That creates a larger customer base. Yes, some devs are for the money and some devs are doing it because they love the game/genre they are writing for, regarding the latter, you can add nuance to your customers so they enjoy the game more. WVM gives you the option of having one of the girls be trans or not. That's awesome. Having avoidable NTR content, another plus. (To be fair, in one game, a female NPC got involved with MC's LI and made him watch, I honestly didn't have an issue with that.) Pregnancy is another one. For most characters I avoid it. Only the characters that I really love and feel for do I go that extra step (Bella from SL, but the whole family could get pregnant as well.)
If you are writing a niche game to only appeal to a specific market, so be it. However, if you include options for specific fetishes in your games, they will appeal to a wider audience. Yes, including them and routes to avoid them, does make coding more difficult and requires more scenes, but you are making the game more enjoyable to a larger percentage of your customers. Personally, I think a good dev would want to appeal to as many as possible, within reason.
And yes, I accept your answer that some devs just want to do it their way. It is their story, their game. They can do what they want.
As for support... I normally don't support Patreon, I had to make an exception recently, I have donated $100 for a COMPLETED game I really liked. That's the highest I've donated. I am very torn on subscription donations. There are multiple games that I like that are on hold or abandoned (Milfy City, Star Wars: The Warriors Heart, & Radiant to name a few) to make me question if a dev is going to see it through or cut it short. Pine Falls is an example of that. Had a decent story to begin with, but then the 2nd chapter was cut short and ended suddenly. Felt very rushed. Was it completed... well, technically, but not in any satisfying way.
Anyways, that's my $0.02.
