Hi again! The snoop events are an important point here, they are something of a parallel universe! Events you can snoop on but don´t do it, happen but are far tamer (and partly complete innocent) than what you see on snoop! There are only one or two snoop events which can be helpful on other paths than NTR, all other snoop events are tailored specifically towards NTR.
For instance, when you tell your wife she can stay longer at the christmas party, should relax and then you DO NOT snoop, your wife gains neither the drug haze trait nor are there love points lost or rival points gained.
As said, the snoop skill is designed mostly to advance NTR and cucking, it is based IMO on the premiss of a general distrust (and it seems to be hinted at that your snooping has been noticed) and if you want to have a positive spin on it´s use, do so with foresight and only rarely, then it can be help on several paths which will not go towards NTR. But if you use snoop without pause, it will frack you over in the long run.
Just as an aside, if you go towards fun positive sharing, take either the stat boost or if you take snoop use it rarely and with caution. Then you will have paths were you can become a loving couple, which go for "benefits" together and go only as far as they want to. Your wife can go towards becoming a fun loving, confident girl who likes to show off, just partly or even keep sharing a theoretical concept. You can walk together towards her becoming more open, kinky and daring (there are hints she might start to strip at the club at least parttime, maybe even more if the new "High Libido" trait can also be gained on/for the positive paths. I have to wait for the public version to know this, unless a patron could info me on this) or you two decide to keep it to "dabbling" at sharing with Jamal getting a bit of making out, but not more or keep it just an option for later in the game. Naturally you can also go for the full, one couple only romance paths.
Hope this helps you.