- Sep 16, 2020
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- Nov 26, 2022
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- Sep 16, 2020
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Okay, I give up. Is there away to turn on some kind of translation? I can't understand WHAT the hell the dryads are saying and it's pissing the hell off. 
. For once I want to play a game that's interesting and understandable.
. For once I want to play a game that's interesting and understandable.
- Sep 16, 2020
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is the dev some kind of idiot that likes to piss people off? What the HELL does these mean? I was looking for short skinny girls but I don't understand what any of these STUPID answers means. Now I have to stop playing again until some genius can explain the meaning.
If you want Saffryn points then the choices are
Short girls, love it when a girl..., I like a balcony you could do Shakespeare from, non human, YES PLEASE.
You do all of those then you get 5 Saffryn points and get a reward.
She's a big titty short stack goblin girl with glasses, you just need to give her the answers that lead her to realize she's the MC's type and you're good.
- Sep 16, 2020
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- Oct 19, 2022
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This guy is in so many threads complaining about perfectly good english that isn't just like 'See Spot Run, Spot Runs Good"... they are not great at understanding any level of creative language use. And they're always aggressively angry about it.
Distinct possibility that English is a second language to them, from the comments I've read from this person they aren't always using the best English themself.
Ya ngl that annoys the shit out of me too, but it doesn't really cost me anything to help anyways.
- Oct 19, 2022
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I had a discussion with them once, and they claimed to be a native speaker. :shrug: Even if you're ESL there's no reason to come in full blast just cause YOU don't understand something.
- Sep 16, 2020
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Does the MC have some kind of hidden power that needs to be unlocked? It would more enjoyable if so.
Started the game today and while it started like something really interesting... I'm having some reservations. Gillie has pretty much just woken up after being ambushed.
Is the tone of the game going to remain a "men are bad!!1!" one?
I like that the MC is a guy that is genuinely trying to help people, but at the same time he often acts in a way that I very much would like him not too. WAY too understanding of some situations (like being WAY too nice to people that are treating him like shit for no reason, like the start of his interactions with Chiara). There are even jokes ingame mentioning how feminine his tendencies are, which actually also makes it ironic when compared with Chiara, who seems much more a dude than the MC.
I don't mean I want him to suddenly go and snap at people like an immature little brat but for fucks sake, stand your ground man, some self-respect. Not in a whole full-on raging asshole way. Just a "Hey did I wrong you or something? Case that wasn't cool. I don't think I did anything to earn that kind of treatment, so drop the attitude please," and if they don't then walk away.
I'd love to help people and doubly so if people ask me for help, but not if I'm being treated like shit. Just some basic courtesy towards a stranger.
To make a comparison (and sorry for talking about another game here, it's just meant to illustrate a point), I'd like the MC to be a little bit more like the one in Cosy Cafe. He's a good guy all around (although much more dom-oriented), is nice to most everyone without being a punching bag but also stands his ground when he has to, definitely not spineless.
If people are being hostile, I'd like to have the option to not engage. Yes, they have their own issues and I see where those characters are coming from in the narrative, but at least give me the option to be a selfless punching bag or drop the interaction and maybe come back to it later in a way that it'd make sense for the MC to want to help them (examples here would be both Chiara and the Principal. Of course they have their reasons for acting the way they do with people in general, but at the same time the MC doesn't know them or their issues and has nothing to do with any of that, yet suffer their spite all the same simply on account of being a guy).
This MC is (was?) a Martial Arts master but lost to the yandere stalker and seem overall quite low on the "prowess" scale so far. Yes, Cecilia had a knife but she never cut the MC prior to him getting knocked on his ass (though the knife may have played a factor in the way the MC reacted during the fight to allow her to knee him in the face). Still... unless at some point in the story she is presented as this one-in-a-million prodigy that became a master martial artist simply through going at him again and again, that's reaching a bit for me.
The only time the MC showed that he can fight somewhat was when he dueled Jade, but for several days prior to the encounter the dialog shows him dreading the upcoming duel with her as if it was some kind of doomsday countdown. I'm not saying I would've liked him to go all "this duel is in the bag, I already got her tagged", but I hoped he'd be more excited for it.
Anyhow, this post is getting longer than I'd have liked for a first impressions. And although I know I mentioned things I'm not happy with so far, overall I'm finding the game very enjoyable. I like the overall premise, the setting, some (but not all) of the characters and am looking forward to the rest of the story.
Is the tone of the game going to remain a "men are bad!!1!" one?
I like that the MC is a guy that is genuinely trying to help people, but at the same time he often acts in a way that I very much would like him not too. WAY too understanding of some situations (like being WAY too nice to people that are treating him like shit for no reason, like the start of his interactions with Chiara). There are even jokes ingame mentioning how feminine his tendencies are, which actually also makes it ironic when compared with Chiara, who seems much more a dude than the MC.
I don't mean I want him to suddenly go and snap at people like an immature little brat but for fucks sake, stand your ground man, some self-respect. Not in a whole full-on raging asshole way. Just a "Hey did I wrong you or something? Case that wasn't cool. I don't think I did anything to earn that kind of treatment, so drop the attitude please," and if they don't then walk away.
I'd love to help people and doubly so if people ask me for help, but not if I'm being treated like shit. Just some basic courtesy towards a stranger.
To make a comparison (and sorry for talking about another game here, it's just meant to illustrate a point), I'd like the MC to be a little bit more like the one in Cosy Cafe. He's a good guy all around (although much more dom-oriented), is nice to most everyone without being a punching bag but also stands his ground when he has to, definitely not spineless.
If people are being hostile, I'd like to have the option to not engage. Yes, they have their own issues and I see where those characters are coming from in the narrative, but at least give me the option to be a selfless punching bag or drop the interaction and maybe come back to it later in a way that it'd make sense for the MC to want to help them (examples here would be both Chiara and the Principal. Of course they have their reasons for acting the way they do with people in general, but at the same time the MC doesn't know them or their issues and has nothing to do with any of that, yet suffer their spite all the same simply on account of being a guy).
This MC is (was?) a Martial Arts master but lost to the yandere stalker and seem overall quite low on the "prowess" scale so far. Yes, Cecilia had a knife but she never cut the MC prior to him getting knocked on his ass (though the knife may have played a factor in the way the MC reacted during the fight to allow her to knee him in the face). Still... unless at some point in the story she is presented as this one-in-a-million prodigy that became a master martial artist simply through going at him again and again, that's reaching a bit for me.
The only time the MC showed that he can fight somewhat was when he dueled Jade, but for several days prior to the encounter the dialog shows him dreading the upcoming duel with her as if it was some kind of doomsday countdown. I'm not saying I would've liked him to go all "this duel is in the bag, I already got her tagged", but I hoped he'd be more excited for it.
Anyhow, this post is getting longer than I'd have liked for a first impressions. And although I know I mentioned things I'm not happy with so far, overall I'm finding the game very enjoyable. I like the overall premise, the setting, some (but not all) of the characters and am looking forward to the rest of the story.
- Oct 14, 2019
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This is one of the problems with having a Literary writing style (as far as WattPad tells me). It is one of the most advanced styles of prose and can be one of the hardest to read since it comes out a lot more poetic in some cases and can be confusing for people who are used to plain English. And it's more habit than anything, because it's what I grew up reading.
For instance, plain English, you might write:
"Max yawned and opened his eyes. It was morning again, and he had so many things to do that day. Slipping his feet into his house slippers, he started a pot of coffee and turned on the news, as he usually did each morning. Max was like a machine, carrying out his daily routine without missing a beat... except for one thing."
Simple, straightforward, though a bit on-the-nose. In a Literary style, I'm used to writing something more like:
"The breaking dawn saw Max yawning and opening his eyes. He rose with the morning, so many things yet to do this day. Donning his house slippers, he started a pot of coffee and turned on the news, as he was wont to do each morning. Almost mechanical in his movements, Max carried out his daily programming without missing a single task... save for one thing."
I do try to pull that back when writing for WCA, as I'm not writing some epic fantasy novel or anything that really NEEDS that kind of flowery, poetic prose. But it DOES slip in from time to time and I apologize if it confuses anyone who isn't used to reading that kind of work.
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Hey, these are great observations, and this allows me to explain a few things.
First, absolutely not. The tone of the game changes over time, as people get used to Aurum and his influence in the school. The purpose of starting off with such a negative tone is to provide adversity for the characters to overcome.
Second, Aurum, the MC, isn't written like most AVN MCs. He starts off flawed, and has a character arc and development of his own. One of the things he needs to learn is to stop prioritizing others' well-being over his own when it comes at a cost to himself. Another is to grow a bit of a backbone and learn to say no to people who are using him.
Third, combat. This is a fantastic bit of feedback, and not the first time I've heard that Aurum needs to showcase some "wins" in that area. He's not a master, nowhere near, but as someone who is black belt level, a handful of perhaps slightly more random encounters that display his skill should make his history a bit more believable. The only reason I hadn't done so was that fight scenes are INCREDIBLY tedious to pose and shoot. They're exponentially more difficult than any other type of scene I've done, and take an inordinate amount of time to produce. I'm actually working on a method of exporting Ai Shoujo models to Blender and then inserting them into either Goo Engine or MMD, which I know has a community and downloadable combat animations that I might be able to plug in and record, essentially turning the fight scenes into video sequences. If I can get the fight scenes to the level of something like Kengan Ashura or RWBY, I will be VERY happy.
Lastly, I am working on a rework of the first season that is going to kind of smooth some of these issues over. I'm a writer who relies heavily on pathos for storytelling and adversity for character development. I've been writing for over 20 years and this is how I've learned to do it in fantasy fiction, and how I did it for my book series, The Riftkey Chronicles. However, I have learned a LOT in the 2 years that WCA has been available to the public, mostly about the community that surrounds AVNs as a whole, and one of those things is that excessive pathos can wear a player out. People who play AVNs enjoy a far less severe emotional roller coaster than people who read fantasy prose, and I feel pulling back on the negativity in the first few chapters will ease people into the story a little bit better, because as it is, it kind of gives off a bad impression before you really start getting the chance to fall in love with the story and the characters.
Appreciate your feedback!
Thanks for the message,
As you mentioned, you are rewriting first season, when should we expect to be finish. I really like the game and hoping to play from the start.
Edit: I seem to have an issue in which I can only write in walls of text. Wasn't my intention.
Thank you for the reply. I have now finished playing the first season and will start the second one today.
In regards to the difficulties for posing fight scenes, I think it'd be fine to do it in a similar way that the dev from "Companion of Darkness" does it. Are you familiar with the title? I'd recommend you check it out, even if only to get some inspiration / insight on how other devs do them, and this dev in particular does fight scenes quite well. Whether the things he does are easy or difficult though, I don't know. It could be that he is especially talented in that kind of visual storytelling and makes something difficult look easy (for him at least). Given his delivery speed on updates though, seems like it's not that difficult (although that dev is developing a bit of a fame as a blazing-fast workaholic and I fear for him, hoping he won't get a burnout).
As for the writing utilizing pathos, I'm fully on board with you. However... please don't take offense to this as I certainly don't mean any by what I'll say, but I feel like Aurum is "excessively sensitive", and that a fair amount of the writing relies on "putting men down".
The Dark Elf has a problem with males (has been heavily implied to have been raped), Kanako has problem with men and physical contact in general (also implied to have been raped), the people in a cross-world academy hear stories about how men (human men in specific) are such horrific creatures, men caused a permanent rift with the dwarven race to the point that they decided to cut-off all contact with any cross-world initiatives which in turn led men across all of the WCA-connected universe to not be allowed the opportunity for enrollment in WCA... see where I'm going with this?
Then in comes Aurum as one of the few exceptions to the rule, with the rule being "men suck!!". At the same time, it makes it seem as if the narrative is going in a direction of "women can do no wrong" kind of thing. I know that wasn't your intention (especially seeing how you blatantly wrote Ashley and Cecilia showing this), but it does come across that way, very lopsided.
I'll use the initial interactions with Chiara as an example (yet again, sorry to keep harping on this one). The resolution of their conflict was pretty good, and that friendship was pretty nice (although Chiara being more of a dude than the dude does bother me). However, the start of their relationship felt (and really was) forced. Completely forced, really not organic at all. It's as if after being treated like shit by everyone for nearly one year, the MC finally got presented to a circle of friendship that magically made him want to adopt a messianic savior complex towards people that are (and have been) spitting in his face.
Out of nowhere he simply decided to think of Chiara as a friend and forced his way into this interaction, even going so far as getting her a girlfriend - a woman that he was personally interested in (and she was / is also interested in him). And why? Bro code? Chiara is nowhere near being a bro at this point, not in a way that convinces me other than the MC choosing to think so in a "quasi-Stockholm Syndrome" way (don't want to butcher terms and nomenclatures, but what I meant was Aurum developing fondness to people treating him like shit). Or was it because Gillie was friends with her? And the justification for that hostility boiled down to him having a penis. That really diminished whatever Pathos was supposed to come from that interaction (for me, that is), because not only did I fail to connect with Chiara but worse - I didn't WANT to connect with her on account of her being a raging bitch.
In regards to Aurum, to me at least (who is someone with more dominant tendencies) he oftentimes really comes off as preachy and annoying, especially when the MC himself (and other characters) compare him to "other guys". Many times the use of a term such as "emotional intelligence" comes off as a means to justify a lack of assertiveness. I like it when it's used as a means of understanding and helping other people, but hate it when it also makes him ask for consent multiple times in a single interaction (often a sexual one).
Example of this would be when most of the encounters the women subtly complain about how non-assertive the MC is. Jade does it (and the MC even comments on how he's not used to being rough after she explicitly asked him to be), and at that point, I expected him to try and do it even if only to satisfy his partner's urges. The goblin girls also expected him to be more proactive.
I think it'd be better to try things and dial them back if necessary than to ask for permission with everything. That being said, if a character at any point said they didn't want something, then pull the plug. Felt like he lacks some agency in that regard (which you said is part of his arc and that's great, but it doesn't make the present moment less unsatisfactory). Of course this doesn't apply to some of the character (specifically the more damaged ones such as Kanako).
Additionally, perhaps some "implied consent" based on seemed intentions by the women would be good. For instance, if a woman is dressing (and posing) provocatively, it's fine to look. Not ogle in a creepy Jack-like manner or course but come on, if someone dresses provocatively then it's fair to assume they want the attention (even if they say otherwise, because their actions betray their speech in this case). If someone you've been flirting with invites you to a room or even takes agency in sexual advances then it's fine to go ahead and be assertive in the interaction. If they are flirting with the MC in person and over text, don't simply wait and / or ask for permission to make a move if interested and instead just make one.
Him not making any move at all on Ember when she was nearly naked in his bed really peeved me. If a woman goes to the bed of a man she has been flirting with while expecting nothing to happen (and also teasing him about the handful he got on her breast and mentioning more than once that she liked it), what does that say about the man? Or what she thinks of the man? She sees him as a "herbivore", not that different from a dog or a cat. No tension at all, sexual or otherwise. I'm not saying that scene needed to be a sex scene, but the MC absolutely should've tried something, at which point she could've said no and moved to another room.
It really means nothing when the mc says "not doing X is taking an insane amount of self-control" when he never does or even tries anything proactively. It instead reads as a copout not dissimilar to "I don't know what happened, this has never happened before" in a situation that a man fails to have an erection for whatever reason (usually nerves) or simply cums too quickly (and fails to satisfy a partner).
I hope I'm conveying information that is useful to you in some ways. I know that what I may be saying could be seen as negative, but we as humans tend to focus a lot more on what bothers us (aka the negatives) than the positives, and I'm conveying things that I hope will get addressed (and some you already said that you'll look into). I tried being constructive in what I said by mentioning what I expected instead, but if you'd like to talk about other aspects and expectations and ways I could be more constructive, do tell. I don't want to tear your work down, instead I'm hoping that my feedback will, in some way or another, help make it better.
Despite all I've said, I don't want you to think I only had negative thoughts in regards to the game. In fact, I think you are onto something special here, and I wouldn't be writing anything if I wasn't looking forward to the future of the game and the story - I would've simply been indifferent and moved on to other AVNs.
Lastly, just one lore-question (that might've already been answered in season 2): is Leon just hanging around the underground base at all times? He clearly doesn't hold Willy in high regard (to say the least, and in fact only learns Willy's name when the MC tells him), yet he seems to just hand around his base nonchalantly. Is willy not aware of his "guest"?
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- Oct 14, 2019
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Didn't mean to ignore this - week has been hell. Ehem.
I'll check out Companion of Darkness. Thank you for the suggestion.
I suppose the amount of "putting men down" that exists in the story is a bit of a release of what I've experienced in my life. IRL, I'm a HUGE proponent and outspoken defender of men's mental health. I suppose my showcasing of such negativity is kind of my way of showing how bad it is for some of us. It's something I intend to tone down a bit in the rework.
The Chiara situation is rather unique. As Gillie's friend, I wrote Aurum to want to at least give it a try, and see why this person had her walls so high. He didn't really take offense to the way she treated him because he could tell this was just her particular suit of armor, and not who she really was. Rather than punish her for using her natural, jaded defenses that she'd developed, he was more interested in weathering the storm and not responding with hostility, which was exactly what she was expecting there. His plan was to wear her down by being kind in the face of hostility, to confuse her and make her think for a second. And once he had that, he had his way in. INITIALLY I intended Aoibheann and Chiara to be characters that functioned as hint givers, because the girls would talk to the two of them. The game ended up evolving past that, so they ended up being less "necessary" to the player than I originally intended lol. What I should do is have Gillie give Aurum a brief on how Chiara can be at first, and maybe explain where it comes from so it doesn't shock the player quite so hard.
Regarding Aurum being so passive... again, that's part of his story arc. He has to learn that if he never makes a move, never grows a spine, he's never going to get anything that he wants. In building a story arc, one of the most important things to consider is the Lie The Character Believes. In Aurum's case, the lie that he believes is that if he just keeps his mouth shut and goes with the flow, less will go wrong than if he were to act/meddle with/influence things. This is a holdover from his trauma from the relationship with Ashley, where she essentially beat him into submission. I didn't really explain a lot about that relationship on-the-nose, but I've hinted at a lot of things in the story text. Long story short, Aurum has some issues and a character arc. He's already starting to be confronted with the consequences of his inaction, and is eventually going to have to confront the lie that he believes. What he does when he confronts that will determine whether his character arc is positive or negative.
Yeah, probably a bit overboard for the story of a sex game, now that I think about it. But I don't really like to half-ass things, and this is just how I learned to write.
Regarding your feedback, presentation is everything. You've been nothing but polite while expressing the things you take issue with, and I appreciate that. What I respond poorly to is people coming in here like "Lmao professional author lawl this is the worst shit I've ever read, mc is a pussy, story makes no sense haha one star review"
That shit doesn't help anyone and just makes me not wanna work on the game. And with my motivation being so fragile as it is lately, sometimes that just stops the whole story in its tracks. This is not, however, how you have presented your feedback, and it allows for a conversation.
Regarding your final question:
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- Aug 29, 2018
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MMMMmmmm, Is this mc cursed...?
Because every girl he do lewd things get bad happening to them... each time. The sisters turn maniac, the gost fan got stab, the goblin get old... Will this be constant ? because it's starting to be a little ridiculous, even more so in a porn game....
Because every girl he do lewd things get bad happening to them... each time. The sisters turn maniac, the gost fan got stab, the goblin get old... Will this be constant ? because it's starting to be a little ridiculous, even more so in a porn game....
- Oct 14, 2019
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Nope. I'm a fairly pathos-heavy writer, and this story started off fairly heavy because I wanted a deeper storyline than just "mc wanna bang all the chickz." I wanted antagonists, real threats, things to care and worry about.
Part of the story is transitioning from that heavier, darker theme into a lighter, more positive theme as you begin to help the girls solve their problems. I'm also planning a rework of Season 1 that is going to pull back on the negativity a bit and smooth that over, now that I'm more familiar with the AVN community. I wrote it like I would have written a novel, which I learned isn't what the typical AVN fan is looking for in a story.
- Oct 14, 2019
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No ETA at the moment. Still in the planning phase, and my time to work on the game is limited by my job and stream, so I'm currently choosing to spend any dev time I have on new content for S2 for now. Support on the Patreon has been dwindling, but the SubscribeStar has been holding steady, ultimately resulting in me taking more hours at work just to make certain I have rent and bills accounted for. I should have quite a bit more dev time once finances stabilize a little bit and I can pull back from my job again and dedicate more time per week to WCA.Any plan, when should we expect the rewrite of season 1? Best of luck,