Dr.SigmundFap
Engaged Member
- Apr 23, 2017
- 2,488
- 19,887
First of all, When the teacher stops it, as Dylan describes it, The text clearly shows it was seven vs. two, which tells the reader that the teacher stopped a seven vs. two fight or altercation. It doesn't say anything that the teacher witnesses it escalating into a seven vs. two fight. Here are some screenshots of the text from the novel.The seven vs two was not in the scenario where the seven attacked the two, it was two attacking seven. The seriousness of the issue changes completely. The danger is when a larger group attack a smaller one not the other way round. The authority of the teacher also matters. An old and high positioned teacher of the school can deal with the matter themselves, without informing the principal.
No, teachers don't deal with it themselves, no matter how old or high they are on the Totem Pole. Teachers have limited authority, and something of this nature would have ended up in the Principal's Office or Assistance Principal's Office. They have the higher authority to handle matters like this. A teacher can usually give detention for usually acting up in class or on school grounds and possibly breaking up a one on one fight. Still, usually, with assault, it goes to the Principal's Office. Not only that, Because most, if not all, the teachers know about Aiden's background (Criminal and Gang Member), this definitely would have ended up in the Principal's Office.
If this fight had taken place off school grounds and Sophia saw it, the principal or the school could have done very few things to help with this matter.
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C'mon, Writing 101... In this case, Here is a couple of more screenshots.Wouldn't it look all weird. After the class ends and Sophia is contemplating what she just did. Wouldn't it look weird out of nowhere a text popping up " the students talked about what Sophia did", I mean it's obvious that the students will talk about it. Not everything needs to be mentioned. Mentioning it when there is no intention of using it anytime soon is not required.
He has forgotten to insert the word "whispering" but as an intelligent audience we can use some sense and understand that ofcourse the two are whispering. She is not gonna talk loud and let the whole class know that Aiden is asking her to open her shirt. At times you go beyond what is in the story and text and interpret meanings and then at other times you keep saying that he should mention everything otherwise it is a mistake. The assumptions you make are always the one that lead to saying there is a flaw while there are also assumptions which help make sense of everything but you never consider them.
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When Sophia told the class to think about the topic of To Kill a Mocking Bird, L&P could have set up the scene where Sophia could have said, "Alright, class talk amongst each other about the background of Atticus Finch's decision about Tom Robinson's case." This would have set up the scene where whispers with Aiden could have worked because the ambient noises coming from others discussing To Kill a Mocking Bird could have filtered out the conversation between Sophia and Aiden, Like being in a restaurant with noises or L&P could have added some sounds to the VN to give it that feel that people were talking in the background discussing the story, while they were chatting about Aiden's task.
It's all about details when you're writing.
If L&P wants to be a one-man show for the production of his novel, I'm fine with that. But the things he said he would do and the goals he meet numerous times are where the problems are at. He continues to tell people what they want to hear vs what they need to hear. If he truly wants to work alone, then he should rephrase or remove the goals for 3 and 4 on his Patreon Page. In the novel's current state, IMO, it really is too large for him to handle alone and I truly believe he needs help, which help could be in the form of a PR person, coding, rendering, creating scenes, proofreader, trimming the fat of character (Which this one might be too late to do, and he may have to let this play out now)... But we have a good idea about his stance on creating scenes, rending, and removing certain story plots.L&P is one man writing, making, editing, doing everything. So it wouldn't be a stretch for him to expect the readers to be more understanding.
I'll agree with you that Jennifer may have known about the tasks by Aiden. But if she is going to great lengths to keep these blackmail tasks a secret between her and Aiden, position and text is everything as described in the novel.The positioning of Sophia is wrong, unless that was intentional on his part. It wouldn't surprise me if Aiden's gf is aware of what Aiden is doing. She wouldn't tell anyone because it would be foolish of her to go behind Aiden's back and then in turn become his enemy while at present she can literally boss around anyone in school because Aiden is backing her. So even if he mistakingly placed her a bit too far he can still easily write himself out of it with just one line that Aiden's gf is aware of everything.
And they are usually alone, or with people walking by, or talking in place with a large group of people with ambient noises in the background, which I just pointed out in my example above, unless someone is eavesdropping on the conversation.About the exclamation mark, haven't you ever seen people talking in whispers with anger. There are numerous scenes across movies and shows where the characters are talking in a low voice yet extremely angry at the person they are talking to.
That's my say on this.