Thanks, but the problem with using the timeline for dForce, is that you can't then save that frame 30 as the only frame, and then use it in other scenes, animations, and so on, you are stuck starting at frame 30, and if there is more than once dForce item you are screwed. If dForce doesn't blow it up, or crash your video card, or some other nonsense. I have never had any luck with it.The way that i get around it is to add a deforce modifier to the clothing item. After that i go to timeline and set it to 30 frames and at frame one I zero all my morphs after that i go to frame 30 and set all my morphs back on. Then i simulate from timeline and let the figure grow into the clothing item. You could also play around with fit control if that does not work for you. If that still does not work then you could try marvelous designer.
Fit control kind of worked on the simple dress but you can still tell that it's broken.

But for the complex one, it is just destroyed. Everywhere around the breasts gets sucked in, like she has a vacuum in there. Even the top part is broken. Not even spandex could do this!

Fit control is not going to fix this well enough.
It looks like I am going to have to parent it to her without fitting, and pose them both manually.
Oh well, thanks for the suggestions.