- Nov 18, 2018
- 4,076
- 8,154
@Gecko_
So I'll go through and make a list as find them.
1. Mia still calls her Jenny when the phone rings, even after you make the designation "Mom" for Jenny. So either Mia is a brat who calls her mother by her first name or that needs to change. You could make the script something like "Our *title*" so that "Our Landlord" still works.
2. Sofia does not have a quantifier conversation. She is still just a name only. So if you put in "Sister", she no longer is called Sofia at all. This is especially a problem on the next day after his computer blue screens and he is trying to figure it out and goes "Maybe.. Sister?" Yeah. No name.
3. Just a grammatical thing. When Sophia is knocked down by Mia, the MC says "Why are you down?" The correct way of saying that question would be more like "Why are you on the floor?"
Few spelling things:
Nope instead of Nop.
Yes or Yeah instead of Ye.
Maybe don't use text shorthand like "brb" and such.
Edit: Yeah, scratch that second one, I went back through on a hunch and saw what you did.
So I'll go through and make a list as find them.
1. Mia still calls her Jenny when the phone rings, even after you make the designation "Mom" for Jenny. So either Mia is a brat who calls her mother by her first name or that needs to change. You could make the script something like "Our *title*" so that "Our Landlord" still works.
3. Just a grammatical thing. When Sophia is knocked down by Mia, the MC says "Why are you down?" The correct way of saying that question would be more like "Why are you on the floor?"
Few spelling things:
Nope instead of Nop.
Yes or Yeah instead of Ye.
Maybe don't use text shorthand like "brb" and such.
Edit: Yeah, scratch that second one, I went back through on a hunch and saw what you did.
