- Mar 31, 2020
- 384
- 478
- Thread starter VenusWaltz
- Start date
- Nov 28, 2018
- 681
- 691
- Oct 24, 2019
- 10,224
- 10,317
well i've got to epi.3 so far and i gotta say .. so far i find this game to have nothing but a bunch of using babe that don't give a shit about the MC except for using him for their means .... sorry but this game is a huge turn off for me .... not much into getting continually used by females .. for their needs and wants .. and the MC not getting shit for it but his thesis ... sorry but not a game i would suggest others to play .. 
- Nov 1, 2020
- 187
- 2,054
It was originally darker but I changed for a reason I can't remember. I think it was too hard to read. I put the top option in case someone was colorblind but I see now that's not enough. I'll look into more colorblind friendly colors for the next update.
- Nov 1, 2020
- 187
- 2,054
Hey, guys. Thanks for all of the feedback.
I want to address a few points to let you know what I'm thinking and where I'm going with the story. I know it's not perfect and if you don't like it for any reason, that's your choice. But I want you to know that there is some direction. Wall of text incoming.
In regards to what's happening in the story and all of the things the MC is doing, he has three reasons for going to extremes like working with Vanessa or fighting in a back alley. It's either some combination for his thesis to graduate, to raise money for Billy, or for the girl themselves. Now, if none of those reasons are good enough for you, I understand. But I can't just write out entire storylines when everything will eventually become intertwined. I'm just not capable of coding something that complex. I have to know my own limitations as an amateur. So, what the lack of choices comes down to are my own inexperience and also, my lack of hardware to render so many different choices.
The second, in regards to the girls themselves. They are not your friends. They're not supposed to be. You just met them. This is only the beginning of the story. Over the course of the game, relationships will develop as you learn more about them. That's what I think is lacking in some VNs these days. There's no actual dynamics with girls. Women fall in love with you at first sight and they have sex with you right then and there. And then that's it. There's no development. There's no growth. We know nothing about the girls themselves. How do you win a girl over when she's already won over? I'm not disparaging other games. I play them, too, and I enjoy them. I know these games are supposed to be unrealistic power fantasies (which AMFA also is). I wanted to do something different because I know I wouldn't be able to do other games as well as everybody else who's already doing them.
In AMFA, your relationship with these girls now is just professional. You get money or help with your thesis. The girls get something they want in return. In Erika's case, she explains this to you with rule number one. It's up to you to decide if there's anything more to it. Her offering herself to you on the first night you met will be brought up again as you learn more about her.
As for the MC doing all of these things and serving the girls... The MC is generally a good guy and willing to go along with everything as a means to an end. Like I said, he has three reasons for doing things, and if none of those reasons are good enough to play that part (either because they're too stupid and unbelievable or they don't fall in line with your personal preference) you can drop the game. No hard feelings. To me, fighting along with Erika to raise money for Billy doesn't make the MC a cuck. Bringing Vanessa a cup of coffee in exchange for a quarter of a million dollars doesn't make him a simp. But I can see how someone might not like it since they didn't have a choice in it. I know it'd be nice to have the option to refuse them outright but they're all pieces to a bigger puzzle and just one piece gone means the picture won't be complete. So, where's the choice in that? The choice comes in how you go about developing your relationship through the dialogue and accomplishing these tasks you're forced into. You don't get the ultimate option of ignoring them completely but you get an option of what to do once you're forced into a situation like how to fight your opponent or how to talk to Vanessa. I had to come to a realistic compromise because I can't render so many different permutations and plot states.
And for the girls themselves, your relationship with them will change over the course of the game. But there's more to them beneath the surface.
Take the MC, for example. He's working hard and trying to do well in school because of his parents. Do any of the girls know that your mother died? Is that something appropriate to bring up with any of them in any conversation you've had so far? Would they react differently if they knew what you were doing or where you came from?
Just like the MC, the other girls have a story. And that's where the dynamics come into play.
I know VNs are escapism male power fantasies and ideally you'd just have the option to tell Vanessa to fuck off. But in this game, you're just gonna have to learn to get along with her for now because I can't write her out of the story. I wish I could put in more reasons beyond finishing your thesis and money but I can't. Harry and Ron didn't like Hermione at the start of 'Harry Potter' and by the end of the story, they're best friends. I'm not saying you'll love Vanessa by the end of AMFA, but she won't be the same character at the end of the story that she is now.
There's a reason Vanessa is a bitch. There's a specific reason she decided to wear shades all the time. But it's personal and it would make no sense for her to tell you at this point in the story. If I explained how everything turns out with Vanessa, it'd be spoiling the entire game. I have all of these girls' backstories written and story paths planned out. If you're deciding now that you don't want any part in it and the reasons for the MC doing what he does, like I always say, no hard feelings if you decide to drop it.
I know there aren't enough VNs out there and I think the community is underserved. I'm just trying to make my own game and write a story that's different because I'm not good enough to do something more complex. There are times I think I made a mistake with AMFA and should scrap it. I mean, I wanted to make a game where the MC is a hero and a Samaritan trying to do what's right but he's coming off as a beta. I don't know. Maybe I'm an idiot. Maybe I didn't write it properly. Harem games are harem games for a reason. So, I'm well aware of all of the problems with the game. But as long as I've got at least one supporter, I'm doing everything I can to at least finish writing the story. I have to remember I can't please everybody.
Thanks for reading the wall of text to anybody who decided to read it. These are just things from my perspective. I'm not saying I'm right and everybody who disagrees with me is wrong. This is just my point of view and why I did things certain ways.
I want to address a few points to let you know what I'm thinking and where I'm going with the story. I know it's not perfect and if you don't like it for any reason, that's your choice. But I want you to know that there is some direction. Wall of text incoming.
In regards to what's happening in the story and all of the things the MC is doing, he has three reasons for going to extremes like working with Vanessa or fighting in a back alley. It's either some combination for his thesis to graduate, to raise money for Billy, or for the girl themselves. Now, if none of those reasons are good enough for you, I understand. But I can't just write out entire storylines when everything will eventually become intertwined. I'm just not capable of coding something that complex. I have to know my own limitations as an amateur. So, what the lack of choices comes down to are my own inexperience and also, my lack of hardware to render so many different choices.
The second, in regards to the girls themselves. They are not your friends. They're not supposed to be. You just met them. This is only the beginning of the story. Over the course of the game, relationships will develop as you learn more about them. That's what I think is lacking in some VNs these days. There's no actual dynamics with girls. Women fall in love with you at first sight and they have sex with you right then and there. And then that's it. There's no development. There's no growth. We know nothing about the girls themselves. How do you win a girl over when she's already won over? I'm not disparaging other games. I play them, too, and I enjoy them. I know these games are supposed to be unrealistic power fantasies (which AMFA also is). I wanted to do something different because I know I wouldn't be able to do other games as well as everybody else who's already doing them.
In AMFA, your relationship with these girls now is just professional. You get money or help with your thesis. The girls get something they want in return. In Erika's case, she explains this to you with rule number one. It's up to you to decide if there's anything more to it. Her offering herself to you on the first night you met will be brought up again as you learn more about her.
As for the MC doing all of these things and serving the girls... The MC is generally a good guy and willing to go along with everything as a means to an end. Like I said, he has three reasons for doing things, and if none of those reasons are good enough to play that part (either because they're too stupid and unbelievable or they don't fall in line with your personal preference) you can drop the game. No hard feelings. To me, fighting along with Erika to raise money for Billy doesn't make the MC a cuck. Bringing Vanessa a cup of coffee in exchange for a quarter of a million dollars doesn't make him a simp. But I can see how someone might not like it since they didn't have a choice in it. I know it'd be nice to have the option to refuse them outright but they're all pieces to a bigger puzzle and just one piece gone means the picture won't be complete. So, where's the choice in that? The choice comes in how you go about developing your relationship through the dialogue and accomplishing these tasks you're forced into. You don't get the ultimate option of ignoring them completely but you get an option of what to do once you're forced into a situation like how to fight your opponent or how to talk to Vanessa. I had to come to a realistic compromise because I can't render so many different permutations and plot states.
And for the girls themselves, your relationship with them will change over the course of the game. But there's more to them beneath the surface.
Take the MC, for example. He's working hard and trying to do well in school because of his parents. Do any of the girls know that your mother died? Is that something appropriate to bring up with any of them in any conversation you've had so far? Would they react differently if they knew what you were doing or where you came from?
Just like the MC, the other girls have a story. And that's where the dynamics come into play.
I know VNs are escapism male power fantasies and ideally you'd just have the option to tell Vanessa to fuck off. But in this game, you're just gonna have to learn to get along with her for now because I can't write her out of the story. I wish I could put in more reasons beyond finishing your thesis and money but I can't. Harry and Ron didn't like Hermione at the start of 'Harry Potter' and by the end of the story, they're best friends. I'm not saying you'll love Vanessa by the end of AMFA, but she won't be the same character at the end of the story that she is now.
There's a reason Vanessa is a bitch. There's a specific reason she decided to wear shades all the time. But it's personal and it would make no sense for her to tell you at this point in the story. If I explained how everything turns out with Vanessa, it'd be spoiling the entire game. I have all of these girls' backstories written and story paths planned out. If you're deciding now that you don't want any part in it and the reasons for the MC doing what he does, like I always say, no hard feelings if you decide to drop it.
I know there aren't enough VNs out there and I think the community is underserved. I'm just trying to make my own game and write a story that's different because I'm not good enough to do something more complex. There are times I think I made a mistake with AMFA and should scrap it. I mean, I wanted to make a game where the MC is a hero and a Samaritan trying to do what's right but he's coming off as a beta. I don't know. Maybe I'm an idiot. Maybe I didn't write it properly. Harem games are harem games for a reason. So, I'm well aware of all of the problems with the game. But as long as I've got at least one supporter, I'm doing everything I can to at least finish writing the story. I have to remember I can't please everybody.
Thanks for reading the wall of text to anybody who decided to read it. These are just things from my perspective. I'm not saying I'm right and everybody who disagrees with me is wrong. This is just my point of view and why I did things certain ways.
- Jun 21, 2020
- 499
- 5,632
There are some choice that have no significance right now, therefore I have left them as they were.
- Jun 21, 2020
- 499
- 5,632
- Aug 11, 2018
- 128
- 281
You probably gave them more time than they deserved. You've given us a game with LI characters who have complex, intriguing personalities. I'd much rather play it than a wish fulfillment fantasy where the women are so easy you might as well be watching porn. A big part of the fun I'm having with this is trying to figure out what makes these women tick, and as we find out more about them it becomes a lot easier to feel the romance building. I'm just hoping that one of the ends can be a big poly harem with more than one baby bump because there's nothing sexier than a strong intelligent attractive woman carrying your child...
- May 1, 2020
- 2,097
- 31,963
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- Sep 6, 2020
- 135
- 165
Found this hilarious game yesterday. You seem to have a story to tell. I like that that. That is the difference to most of the other games or VN here.
For me, in the long run, a unique story is more important than render quality, animations or lots of sex scenes.
Your writing is scintillatingly witty. I like the girls, except Riley but that may change in the future. All of them are exaggerated generalizations. I am curious how they develop.
Please keep up a high frequency of updates
Thanks for the game VenusWaltz
For me, in the long run, a unique story is more important than render quality, animations or lots of sex scenes.
Your writing is scintillatingly witty. I like the girls, except Riley but that may change in the future. All of them are exaggerated generalizations. I am curious how they develop.
Please keep up a high frequency of updates
Thanks for the game VenusWaltz
- Nov 1, 2020
- 187
- 2,054
Thanks for the response. All of the criticism I've read is valid. I don't mind reading negative feedback because I know I'm not doing everything perfectly. Like I said, there are a lot of other VNs I enjoy but I'm not copying them, so I can understand why there's some disappointment when there are certain expectations going in. And I don't wanna copy something when somebody else is already doing it better. I like to know what someone doesn't like in a game so I might be able to improve it.
I'm always open to suggestions and recommendations since I'm still a newbie but I won't compromise the story entirely. Also, a lot of it was just me thinking out loud so everybody has some idea of what direction I'm going.
As far as a harem goes, it was one of my first considerations I had when deciding how things would turn out. I don't want to go into details to avoid spoilers but I have something planned.
In terms of personality choices, I don't plan on any 'bad endings' or 'game overs'. The personality choices are there for two reasons. The first is to give the MC a chance of what to say. Maybe you like a character and all you wanna do is flirt with her. Maybe all you want to do is joke with her. The choices are there so you have some control over what you're saying and you don't have to constantly be flirting with someone or constantly joking, etc. You can still end up with a character and not have to constantly flirt with them.
The other reason is to define how the girl sees you. If you keep picking jokes, she'll think you're funny and it'll open up some smaller opportunities. For example, you get to make out with Erika if you flirt with her at a certain point in Episode 3. But you'll never get locked out from someone because all you do is joke with a girl. It's just a small piece of a bigger picture. The stats at the end of every episode are mostly just there to keep score.
To answer your question, for personality choices, you don't have to worry about mixing and matching to the situation if you're looking into a harem. There's no 'wrong' answer, just different answers.
Thanks for playing.
- Feb 1, 2019
- 2,442
- 1,560
- May 9, 2018
- 2,490
- 6,851
Hey VenusWaltz great game so far and thanks for the feed back. Nice to read of the reasoning behind things.
I know am of those who comes across as "in the tell Vanessa to fuck off camp", and well at least that was my initial reaction. After playing a bit more I'm rather fond of her so far. My post about the missing option to do so was supposed to be humorous but if it added to any doubts or negativity you felt, I'm sorry. I'd hate for something like that to be even a slight part in causing you to walk away.
You are doing a good job, stick at it, don't let the negatives get you down.
- May 3, 2017
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I think, far as I can tell people seem to be displeased the most with how the Illusion of choice is presented in this game, more specifically its transparency. Every transition into an event is very straightforward with no to minimum resistance from the protagonist, which makes the player feel forced into them.
Manipulating the reader is a big part of storytelling, the writer's job is to sell the decisions and actions the protagonist makes in a satisfying and compelling way. So the mentioned reasons for MC's behavior explain his motivations but there also have to be reasons for the players to be willing to go along with it that don't share his views.
MC can still be a good guy while showing some control over what is happening if properly implemented, this way the scene transitions will still happen regardless of choice but that creates the illusion of control and satisfies people who want to roleplay the main character the way they want to and broadening the audience this game might appeal to, while also not drastically changing the story and characters.
- Nov 1, 2020
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Thanks but I knew you were joking. lol
I don't want anybody to feel obligated to like or not like a character. There are characters in games, movies, books, tv shows that I don't like that are universally popular. And there characters I like that are universally despised. It'd be hypocritical of me to say 'you have to like this character.' If anybody doesn't like a character for any reason, they don't owe any explanation. I explained my reasoning for certain aspects of the game just to provide some insight for anybody who might be curious.
I'm all right with disagreement, discussion, and complaints.
All of the doubts I have are mostly fleeting, so I don't plan on quitting anytime soon. I owe it to everybody who wants to see more. I appreciate the support.
You're right and I agree. Admittedly, it was hard for me to come up with a universal reasoning for why the MC is forced into certain situations. I give the player three reasons as well as making the MC a generally nice guy as to why he kind of goes along with everything. But I can understand why that still wouldn't be enough for some players because there's not enough of that sense of control. For me, I wanted to make the MC doing what he does rational and to me, it's rational for him to go to such extremes. I get why that's not enough for others though because they have that controlled pulled away from them. I didn't do a good enough job of creating a believable rationale along with not having the MC make that decision, rather somebody else do it for him and having him agree. I have to do better at not making it seem like the MC is shrugging his shoulders and being okay with everything.
I'm also aware of trying to give the MC some control going into a situation he's going into regardless. Going forward, I'll try to do a better job of making it clear that it's the MC making a decision under his own control and having final say rather than going along with something. I know one of the biggest faults in storytelling is to not have an active protagonist and I'll be more conscious of it from now on. Also, I do have plans for the MC to come up with his own ideas and everybody else going along with it, which might help a little in creating a more active protagonist that gives the player more of a feeling of control. This will also probably include a few more dialogue options to make it a little more personal to the player.
- May 3, 2017
- 123
- 7,340
Hey, that's why it's necessary to make mistakes in order to get better. I personally see in your work much potential and the fact that your so eager to improve just proves that.
- May 6, 2017
- 288
- 845
I've no idea if I'm making the right choices and honestly it's perfect that way. I'm having way too much fun with the great dialogue and story progression to worry about making the technical "best" choices.
Vanessa and Harlow are best girls and every scene with them is a treasure. Looking forward to more.
Vanessa and Harlow are best girls and every scene with them is a treasure. Looking forward to more.
- Mar 3, 2019
- 223
- 725
I personally don't have as much of an issue with Vanessa as others here, it seems clear to me from the writing that she's being setup as having some reason beneath the surface to act as she does.
I only have two major criticisms with the game as it stands:
First, the excessive dependence on the "it's a surprise" trope. It feels like every single character is always leading the MC on with "surprises" that they just can't talk about first. Once it's a mistery, two is a tease, three is annoying. I don't care that Vanessa "acts like a bitch", to quote the MC, because I looks like this will be explained in the future, but the fact she's always telling the MC to go someplace but never tells him WHY is beyond obnoxious. The fact that Erika, and Harlow, and Billy also do the same is cringy and, honestly, make the MC a pushover... and I don't really want to play a pushover character. No one does.
Second, while I appreciate your desire to allow players to play however they want, you currently have dialog setup where the choices between "styles" are mostly just flavour text; they won't affect outcomes directly or cumulatively... except when it rarely isn't. But the fact that 90% of the time there is no difference between outcomes based on dialog choices teaches the player that those choices don't matter beyond the type of dialog they will exchange. So when, after playing two entire chapters, the player finally faces a choice where one style might give a different outcome (a sex scene that is only seen if you Flirt with Erika, for example), it's very possible that many players will miss that scene because they have been taught that choices don't really matter in the long term.
That is something you might want to rethink, and perhaps revisit on previous chapters, because that's honestly poor game design. You are introducing a new game mechanic hidden behind an existing one without telling players about them. When you first introduce dialog styles you tell players they can play however they want, and now you are sneaking the fact that if they choose to always be a white knight or joker they won't see some of the content.
I hope I convey this as contructive criticism, and not something demoralizing. I am enjoying the story, and I'm looking forward to see where it takes me. Keep at it, you're doing great work so far.
I only have two major criticisms with the game as it stands:
First, the excessive dependence on the "it's a surprise" trope. It feels like every single character is always leading the MC on with "surprises" that they just can't talk about first. Once it's a mistery, two is a tease, three is annoying. I don't care that Vanessa "acts like a bitch", to quote the MC, because I looks like this will be explained in the future, but the fact she's always telling the MC to go someplace but never tells him WHY is beyond obnoxious. The fact that Erika, and Harlow, and Billy also do the same is cringy and, honestly, make the MC a pushover... and I don't really want to play a pushover character. No one does.
Second, while I appreciate your desire to allow players to play however they want, you currently have dialog setup where the choices between "styles" are mostly just flavour text; they won't affect outcomes directly or cumulatively... except when it rarely isn't. But the fact that 90% of the time there is no difference between outcomes based on dialog choices teaches the player that those choices don't matter beyond the type of dialog they will exchange. So when, after playing two entire chapters, the player finally faces a choice where one style might give a different outcome (a sex scene that is only seen if you Flirt with Erika, for example), it's very possible that many players will miss that scene because they have been taught that choices don't really matter in the long term.
That is something you might want to rethink, and perhaps revisit on previous chapters, because that's honestly poor game design. You are introducing a new game mechanic hidden behind an existing one without telling players about them. When you first introduce dialog styles you tell players they can play however they want, and now you are sneaking the fact that if they choose to always be a white knight or joker they won't see some of the content.
I hope I convey this as contructive criticism, and not something demoralizing. I am enjoying the story, and I'm looking forward to see where it takes me. Keep at it, you're doing great work so far.
- Feb 20, 2021
- 4,088
- 6,015
thanks for the clarification
"...in some VNs these days. There's no actual dynamics with girls. Women fall in love with you at first sight and they have sex with you right then and there"
DmD ,Melody, Avalon, Summer´s gone , Rocking Robin and Chasing Sunsets for example
but you are right ~85% are just jump and bump the girls
personell opinion :
the point for me to ..dont treally get along with this game is the MC doesnt really questioning the "choices" given
atleast he should be thinking about
there are some real funny lines written as answers, but they all lead to --> "yes ill do"
(except the 3 sex offers you can decline so far)
i mean who meets a girl and 3 days later fightin in the streets for her without a real reason ..
(thats before yk that you need money for the cafe)
for vanessa - i really dont care her behavior , the point to be submit to this it is- there should be atleast some options to put her a bit in place (like - ill do it for you and my thesis but im not your doormat)
(this has nothing to do with male domination fantasy)
Marisa - if i think about how the game and story is put , i have really not a good feeling about her offer ..
will this lead to some dom/sub play? maybe stage-fuck? (rich man club - we all know whats going on there)
can you give a hint actually pls?
at the current stage of game it is not apparent (to me) why the MC behaves like he does
he must be really naive or dumb as ...
i see that you plan a greater outcome of all of this (well ,should be
)hope the MC get some balls lol
atleast dont get me wrong - everyone who makes such games is doing great , one way or another
must be hard, time consuming work
(every game has its audience -- i will take a look at next update and decide if i one of them)
there a way worse "games" out here than your´s
again : this is a personell opinion and i dont want you to take this a offence
greetings
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