Ren'Py Abandoned A Second Chance [v0.1.2 Alpha] [Mr.Aurora]

JR_001

JR_001

Member
Jul 1, 2017
165
210
Which second chance is this? If i get more than one, wouldn't that make it the third chance, etc.? :devilish:
 
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MrAuroraGames

MrAuroraGames

Clueless Dev
Game Developer
May 6, 2020
11
128
JGNeon said:
The story shows promise, but here's a few things you should take care of for the future development:
  • Proofread all text, make sure it fits grammatically, and eliminate spelling/capitalization/punctuation errors. If your grasp on English isn't that good, find someone who can do this for you (either a friend, or someone in the community). This person should also be able to help you with rephrasing some dialogue lines, if they seem too clunky/awkward (when it's not intended to be awkward, that is).
  • Like others have mentioned, consider renaming your game. The name IS a good one, but it's already too close to another game. Write down a bunch of alternative name suggestions, and search for each of them in the community threads to see if any game names pop up. It's easier to rename it now, this early in the game development, since save files might not be ready for this yet. Having a similar name to another game/story will only confuse your audience, and those who are fans of the other game will only be angry at you for "capitalizing" on that other game's popularity (even if it was unintentional).
  • Reduce your reliance on audio and music. I see that the music library you included contains 708 MB of data already (I unpacked the .rpa file to check this), which is a lot for just a demo or first version. Personally, I prefer muting all audio in preferences before I play, just so I sometimes can watch/listen to something else in the background. I did, however, play through this demo with audio, just to see how this went along, and so far in the story, it doesn't add that much. It's basically just mood music. While we're at it, I noticed that you had a "popup" in the top left corner showing the currently playing music track. This is unnecessary, and detracts from the game/story experience, especially if playing on mute. If you feel you "need" it, make sure you can also hide/disable it in Preferences.
  • Also on the note of music, stop forcing audio levels. I tried muting all audio earlier, but as soon as the story progressed to a point where a new music track was being played, the music level was set to 100%, which overrided my previously set preference. If you do this, you'll just annoy your audience.
  • Do something about repeatable conversation topics. Either hide previously selected/played conversation topics, or make sure any points awarded only happens on the first time it's selected. Noticable example: When talking to Hannah at the Café, asking her about her hobbies will award you a relation point with Hannah each time you select this dialogue option. Essentially, I could easily boost my relationship with Hannah to 100+ points just by re-selecting this dialogue topic endlessly. There are several methods to resolve this, either by removing the dialogue option once previously selected (which also has several ways to do using code), or by setting a flag to true that this option has already been played, and to only award points if this is the first time the option is selected. Feel free to look into the "menu set" or "menu arguments" part of the
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    .
  • Don't rely too heavily on videos and video transitions between scenes. They tend to bloat the game experience. The startup videos were nice, but I'd probably drop the "Powered by Ren'py" logo in that startup sequence. This is information that could instead be put in an "About" section, along with a list of production credits, acknowledgements, and music/audio credits. People who've played other VNs already recognize a Ren'Py-powered game/story when they see one. Feel free to play a few other Ren'Py-powered games/VNs to see how other developers and authors have done this (go to "Latest Updates" in the top menu, and use the "game engine" filter on the side).
  • Be sure to have a general outline of your story and possible branches. You may already have this, but this goes for anyone who wants to make a game or VN. Basically, be fully aware of the backstory for each character, and where they could be heading in the course of your game/VN story - there's no need to flesh this out completely, but have keywords on hand as a general overview. I've seen a lot of games/VNs on here that don't seem to know what they're doing, and get hung up on making plot twists to keep the public interested, no matter what has been previously established. You should at the very least know or be aware of the general outline of the story, especially what has already happened in the past, either through gameplay, or through things that have been mentioned about the time before the story of your game/VN started (i.e. the time before the point where you "give control" to the player for the first time).
These are just a few things off the top of my head. In either case, I wish you luck on the future development of this one.
Click to expand...
I appreciate the advise., will take some in to consideration. Cheers!
 
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lordfridge9

lordfridge9

Emperor of Universe 7
Donor
Aug 24, 2017
3,273
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- Two girls with the same hairstyle, facing opposite on the banner

- You think dis shitz funny don't ya
 
I

iodio

Newbie
Jul 10, 2017
54
86
Mr.Aurora said:
Overview:
You are a normal 19 year old guy just living his best life.
But all a sudden, everything just flipped right upside down. You died. But how?
And why am I in college? Who did this to me? and what's going on at this college?
You need to find out how you died to prevent yourself from dying but who will help you?
Are the people you meet trustworthy, What's going on behind the scenes at this so called College...​
Click to expand...
​

First, second, or third person storytelling? It can't be all of them at the same time.
 
DrakoGhoul

DrakoGhoul

Engaged Member
Jul 13, 2018
3,290
12,412
This is an interesting premise. I have played stuff like this before but it's not too overused, overall, so this could be good from a story pov. Visually, the women look great. They look original, or atleast different enough that i don't instantly noticed that they're from other games. All that said I'm looking forward to playing this.
 
Rodrigoofb

Rodrigoofb

Professional Lurker
Uploader
Aug 24, 2020
801
4,609
Some unknown entity: You died, but i'm giving you a second chance at life, i'm gonna send you back to your college days.
Me: No thank you, not going through that again:HideThePain:

All jokes aside, it was a solid introduction, at least for the girls. Story is still unclear at the moment, but that's alright because it was just a demo.
I noticed the volume of the music basically reseted after every transition of scenes, i play with volume down because my headphone is loud as fuck, and having the volume reseting all the time is annoying, so you might want to take a look at that.
 
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LionHeart 95

LionHeart 95

Member
Aug 30, 2020
491
1,073
Well Spoiler, this is supose to be a teaser ep. last line said was hoping my panties got wet at least. not even close! As for a teaser it doesn't tease anything, I was really wanting some more substantial you may have put this out too soon.
 
C

Cena2001

Member
May 12, 2021
370
636
Hyy Guys
Hers Is My Android Port Of This Game

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Find My Other Ports Here
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