- May 10, 2018
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- Thread starter Farwest Studios LLC
- Start date
Got the error through the system settings, allowed the permissions and it opens and immediately closes.
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I will look at it on my end, and post a fix as soon as I find it.
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I think the second episode is being too on the nose with its messaging. I'm not saying don't have themes or don't get political, even if I disagree with it. But I would say it's rather dumb time to take an anti 'eat-the-rich' stance on the issues.
If you only want to tackle things on a surface level cause it's a porn game, that's fine, but in that case you should be much less on the nose about things. Or if you want to actually engage with these issues, well you should present them less shallowly. It's a matter of having a lack of substance. Or rather- if you want to get political, like actually get political and go deep.
Now- I understand if you think you're gonna touch on themes regardless with bimbofication as a subject matter. But again, that then doesn't mean you should hit someone over the head with political themes if you're just trying to create jack-off material. Like it's the big tits that arouse me, not getting mad at the 'woke-ists'.
If you only want to tackle things on a surface level cause it's a porn game, that's fine, but in that case you should be much less on the nose about things. Or if you want to actually engage with these issues, well you should present them less shallowly. It's a matter of having a lack of substance. Or rather- if you want to get political, like actually get political and go deep.
Now- I understand if you think you're gonna touch on themes regardless with bimbofication as a subject matter. But again, that then doesn't mean you should hit someone over the head with political themes if you're just trying to create jack-off material. Like it's the big tits that arouse me, not getting mad at the 'woke-ists'.
Also what's the point in making Monique so much less... black in the bimbofication? I just feel like it kinda defeats the point of making a black woman a bimbo and have her lose half her melanin. Usually Bimbofication comes with more melanin not less. Combined with the hair change, it feels like throwing atop a whole race change for no real reason. Though- I could understand if maybe the program you use doesn't have a lot of black hairstyles to it.
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Wait a sec... What was it all those kids were saying these days? Oh yeah... Touch grass. Sometimes, a scene is just a scene... A vehicle to get where you're going. You seem to be putting waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too much thought into this. If something on the interwebs "triggers" you, go outside, take a deep breath, and ask yourself why... Then jerk off and get it out of your system.
Dude chill. I'm not trying to 'cancel' you or whatever you're worried about. I'm saying you wrote a bad scene, and there's a couple little things that would improve it. You can accept or ignore the criticism if you want, but there's no need for you to be a diva. Up to you if your ego can listen to someone who doesn't believe the same things you do.
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If you're willing to listen then I think there's only three minor changes that would help improve things. Of course you're free to ignore me, cause it's your thing.
1. Make the news logo in the beginning a bit more original. I think calling it 'foxy news' is fine, I'd just make the logo less close to the real world one. Maybe even add three x's to make it 'foxxxy' if you want.
2. Just give the blue-haired lesbian a name instead of just calling her 'blue haired lesbian'. I get the joke you're trying to make, but you're telling it in the most boring way possible. It's already obvious what you're doing, but then you are spelling out the punchline.
3. Just tone down Monique's dialogue to be less of a stereotype, and a bit less hostile. It's a very awkward read and is constantly clashing with everything else in the scene. Naturally she's gonna be hostile being a protestor against the MC, but it doesn't read as naturalistic, or if you are trying to purposefully not be naturalistic, it's still just awkward and not funny or making anything else hotter. You don't have to change any of the intent, just tone it down.
I'd also sell the intro is giving off some 'incel'y vibes, but admittedly I don't have any recommendations and can't nail down anything that I think is specifically going over a line. Maybe expand the sequence in a later update if the character will make a return? Just so that there's like proper characterization given.
Again feel free to completely ignore me, I'm just giving you an honest opinion.
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I like all the thought you put into this, and the time you took to sit and type out those thoughts. So I will respond to each point in turn.
1. I specifically chose to go to great lengths to mimic their logo as faithfully as humanly possible, so it wouldn't serve my process or the plot to change it. He's a self-made billionaire tech CEO so naturally he would watch it... and the whole vibe of the scene rests on it.
2. Our blue haired friend does in fact have a name, but (again) you the player don't know her yet, and the news reporter wouldn't logically have that info and probably wouldn't post it even if they did. Plus it's funny.
3. Toning down her attitude is the last thing I would do. It loses the impact of her change for one, and (what is a running theme here) you down have the benefit of knowing her backstory yet. The things that formed her.
I suspect that if you gave the writer (in this case me...) the chance to tell the whole story before trying to force it to fit your view, you might just understand and dare I say... enjoy the tale. My entire page on here is laced with warnings as to the nature of the content you might encounter should you play the game. This may not be your type of game, and that's okay! There are hundreds if not thousands of other AVN's out there for you. Perhaps use the filter function to narrow down and exclude the ones that offend you. I hope this helps you and that you have a blessed day.
1. Yeah, but you already changed it to 'Foxy' News, so you've already changed it to a degree. I'm not saying a rich CEO wouldn't watch conservative news, just that seeing a real (enough) news channel took me out of it.
2. Monique's name is used in the dialogue tags despite her name not being introduced yet. Be at least consistent. If you want a funny title for someone whose name isn't known, at least pick something a bit more original, like maybe 'uninformed protestor'. Or if you want to make commentary, again be original, maybe 'bane of western civilization' or 'leader of the gay agenda', or 'Dyke-a-tron 5000'.
3. I'll give you the benefit of the doubt that you have future plans. I'm just saying maybe have her act... a bit more human? Like still really bitchy, just in a way that seems more organic.
This is probably a difference of opinion on what you and I get out of the fetish, but to me what's much more interesting is seeing an aspect of a character, typically hidden or repressed, getting brought out by a bimbofication. Like taking one of their stats and maxing it to a hundred. That's more interesting if you can see that aspect in there in the first place. Otherwise, what I've seen some people do and find very boring, is just replace one character with another new character with no continuity inbetween (which feels a bit like what we're getting in the second chapter- though I this was fine in the first). If say Monique was slapped with an extra character trait- for instance perhaps we see she has a vain streak that helps feed into the bimbofication, then that hits a lot better I think than if it's a simple one and done, 0-100 bimbo.
Now of course, I'm not expecting you to rewrite the whole thing, or even anything since you're under no obligation to listen to me, but I hope I've at least given you an alternate perspective to consider as you continue creating. Just because I'm a woke communist jihadist that's trying to destroy western civilization or some such shouldn't mean that I'm not allowed to make suggestions or have opinions to share.
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Mr.Lefty
New Member
- Jan 18, 2020
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What's the biggest you're willing to go for breast size? Like the game so far but I'm hoping for a couple characters to go quite a bit bigger
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Sky’s the limit my friend!… well, technically Daz is the limit… but you get it
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I'm going to give my two cents on this. I like the idea of taking a girl making her sexy and fucking the shit out of her until your balls run out. Monique's arc is good and I think this chapter will be better than the last one. Shame this one is short but I imagine there's work being done. I do like a harem and it seems this MC has one although I can't tell if he's the MC from the first chapter but collecting a girl off the street and turning her hot is kinda a novel concept that I haven't seen before. Hope the next update comes soon. Though the boobs are big I do have a tolerance for that but I'm not a fan of the unrealistic big boobs to the point where the girl is tipping over.
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Thank you for your honest feedback and the time you spent laying out your thoughts. Every chapter is a different story with (mostly) different people, so yes the MC is new. As to the boobs (and body) there will be a wide variety of different interpretations of the bimbo type. Different personalities, both before and after transformation, different results, both physically and mentally. I’m trying to have something for everyone who is even the slightest bit interested in this genre.