Aason

Member
Game Developer
Mar 2, 2018
193
1,097
I'm not at all into incest, so won't be playing this min the future, but the idea had merit so I thought I'd play once and give feedback.
  1. The idea is great. It's innovative but easy to understand and follow
  2. Everything happens too quickly. You go from the MC thinking she is pregnant to having had an abortion "a few days later." Abortions take a bit of time to schedule and conduct. Maybe "a few weeks later."
  3. I'd make it more clear that the brother has been boffing her for a while. The "I wore that shirt yesterday" line makes it seem like the brother just started doing her yesterday (even though he sys that he "fucked her again") and she's already late for her period today.
  4. You escalate to the father too quickly. Have the brother take her to the abortion clinic, and threaten to tell the father (because, after the abortion, she can't prove her brother was the one who got her pregnant). Expand the brother-sister storyline for a while before going to father-daughter.
  5. Dad's dick pic has his phoine in the background. How's he taking the picture, then?
Again, not my cup of tea, but I encourage you to expand on this and carry on, and then someday aybe you will make a game more up my alley. Good luck

Thanks for the feedback! Appreciate it.
Everything happens too quickly, I can't agree more. I'll try to take it slow.
For the brother-sister relationship, it's gonna of course be more expanded. And we'll discover more about her brother have done to her in the past.
For the dick pic, a lot of guys take this kinda pics, so I guess, two phones? I won't give it too much thougts lol.
 
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Aason

Member
Game Developer
Mar 2, 2018
193
1,097
For the Android port, as said in my post my Ren'Py keeps failing to build the APK, but of course there will be one!
 
Sep 10, 2017
50
51
you play through it rather quickly. which I appreciate. no need to drag out content. hwat is there is there. there are so many games that have 20 minutes of content but they make you play for an hour to get to it all, and Im glad this game isnt one of em. I really like the format, allthough I feel like renpy was the wrong engine for a game like this. I think the game engine twine would have been a better choice for a game like this. because you can make it feel like you are using a phone without that much effort or coding.
 

Davewatch

Active Member
Jan 7, 2020
594
625
Very nice concept, dam pity it is so short, Maybe she would have to become a cam girl to pay for the abortion? and who is going to film her when dad and brother use her, will it be a threesome? Else how do you show us whats going on.
 
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Aason

Member
Game Developer
Mar 2, 2018
193
1,097
you play through it rather quickly. which I appreciate. no need to drag out content. hwat is there is there. there are so many games that have 20 minutes of content but they make you play for an hour to get to it all, and Im glad this game isnt one of em. I really like the format, allthough I feel like renpy was the wrong engine for a game like this. I think the game engine twine would have been a better choice for a game like this. because you can make it feel like you are using a phone without that much effort or coding.
Thanks for the feedback!
I tried with Twine at first, but I couldn't simulate realistic sms. BUT this was my first time with Twine, AND I'm shit. So, here is that.
 

Aason

Member
Game Developer
Mar 2, 2018
193
1,097
Very nice concept, dam pity it is so short, Maybe she would have to become a cam girl to pay for the abortion? and who is going to film her when dad and brother use her, will it be a threesome? Else how do you show us whats going on.
I already thought about it, don't worry! We'll know and we'll see!
 

droglob

Active Member
Aug 26, 2017
675
1,573
Neat idea but poor execution. Things go from 0 to 100 instantly while still managing to not have any actual porn in the process. I wonder if there even is media content out there to support this idea or if it's just gonna be a couple of questionable taste jpegs.
 

sithlordo66

Member
May 4, 2017
249
243
Im not sure the length even qualifies as a demo as much a proof of concept. Dig the idea buy this is gonna need really good writing
 
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foofoo3344

Well-Known Member
Dec 5, 2017
1,523
1,254
I'm not at all into incest, so won't be playing this min the future, but the idea had merit so I thought I'd play once and give feedback.
  1. The idea is great. It's innovative but easy to understand and follow
  2. Everything happens too quickly. You go from the MC thinking she is pregnant to having had an abortion "a few days later." Abortions take a bit of time to schedule and conduct. Maybe "a few weeks later."
  3. I'd make it more clear that the brother has been boffing her for a while. The "I wore that shirt yesterday" line makes it seem like the brother just started doing her yesterday (even though he sys that he "fucked her again") and she's already late for her period today.
  4. You escalate to the father too quickly. Have the brother take her to the abortion clinic, and threaten to tell the father (because, after the abortion, she can't prove her brother was the one who got her pregnant). Expand the brother-sister storyline for a while before going to father-daughter.
  5. Dad's dick pic has his phoine in the background. How's he taking the picture, then?
Again, not my cup of tea, but I encourage you to expand on this and carry on, and then someday aybe you will make a game more up my alley. Good luck
Answer to No. 5 = Some people have more than 1 phone
 
3.30 star(s) 21 Votes