"L&P interpretation of hot/extreme is very different to ours" - may be because L&P is girl/woman?
In such case it would explain a lot:
1. female MC
2. teasing without any real action
3. a lot of romantic and artistic stuff
4. different perception of hot/extreme sex
Waouh... really!! That is just... waouh... so much misogyny packed in just so few words that is quite something.
Well, taking it on in order:
1. Buffy, written by Joss Weddon (a strong exemple of a female MC packed full of power and snarky retort against vampires).
2. 50% of sex is in the head, and writting and bringing a good scene or story to the point where you can not stand to wait anymore for the end is quite difficult, keeping that tension is hard work, and it will all be for the better when the "action" as you say arrive.
3. Yes, everyone knows that romance and art is just for women, their mind is just so full of butterflies, unicorns and rainbows (just in case: this is sarcasms).
4. Women can be as lustful, creepy, hardcore and sex addict than men, and can generally take a lot more than them, why? biology, women handle pain better than men.
I do not think any of that will change your mind, but still, needed to be said.