nexer

Forum Fanatic
Feb 5, 2019
4,596
18,358
My criticism has nothing to do with Sophia being married and DeShawn having a gf, or if they're going to be lovers. My criticism is that from a storytelling perspective we learn nothing about the characters because of how the scene is written. We, as the audience, don't need to hear Sophia tell DeShawn facts about herself that have already been established. What we do need is to hear her tell him things that we don't know about her, such as her time as a basketball player. This would fill her character out. We need to see the two of them engage in a conversation that is actually fun where they can have chemistry, but instead we're just told they had fun and have chemistry.

These are basic rules to storytelling.
I suppose you are a native English
"we're just told they had fun and have chemistry." here is an error, right?
I'm not, what I want to say is : playing with the words and be funny in another language, create interesting and funny dialogues it's not easy. So. I believe that L&P uses and repeats parts of old stuff.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Lord_Xanatos

GingerSweetGirl

Engaged Member
Aug 23, 2020
2,528
12,125
I suppose you are a native English
"we're just told they had fun and have chemistry." here is an error, right?
I'm not, what I want to say is : playing with the words and be funny in another language, create interesting and funny dialogues it's not easy. So. I believe that L&P uses and repeats parts of old stuff.
In this context, the word "chemistry" means that two characters get along well. So in this scene, we're told that DeShawn and Sophia get along well. Another way to say that is that DeShawn and Sophia have "chemistry". Normally you would show them having "chemistry" by having a fun conversation, and show the actual dialog. Instead L&P just tells us that they get along well- he doesn't actually show it through dialog.

But you're right. If English isn't your native language then being funny is very hard. L&P needs a lot of help in the writing department. We were hopeful that he was going to get some for this update, but who knows if he did.

L&P is trying to create a story-driven game, and that's fine. But if he can't write compelling and fun dialog because English isn't his native language, he's going to have major problems.
 

Bane71

Well-Known Member
Apr 21, 2020
1,853
7,858
Please elaborate. Do you not see it, see it but it doesn't load etc?

Are you following either Mamonetti or my walkthrough? You previously needed to not go to the soccer game, spy on the girls, then invite Ellie to the spa

There are some interesting revelations about Ellie, and we do get progression with her. Personally I found it better than any of the fan games, but then I'm interested in the lesbian route, which doesn't get much attention in the fan art thread.

For me when I joined a little over a year ago, I enjoyed the game because it was one of the only games with both great graphics and a lesbian route. But even that is changing, with now 3 characters being taken off the route, and we've being forced to have straight characters like DeShawn interfere.
Thank you! I managed.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Alley_Cat

Miðgarðsormr

Engaged Member
Oct 1, 2017
2,473
6,097
No, we need to hold L&P's feet the fire on this one. Every time we (and I include myself in this) have made excuses for him, we have enabled him to put out an unsatisfactory update.

This update isn't "slow pace", it is as close to "no pace" as we can get. L&P took 100 days to move the story millimeters, not even inches. Anyone who follows this game knew the outline of this update, so I don't think any had unrealistic expectations. But that doesn't mean the story can't advance- that Sophia's characterization can't advance- more than a few millimeters.

Let's look at the sauna scene because I think everyone agrees that it is a huge wasted opportunity.

Putting aside for a second the lack of sexual content in this scene, let's just focus on the narrative progression. Since this is the first time we've interacted with DeShawn, it would be great to interact with him and see how he and Sophia relate; but instead we get boring exposition.

"And this is also what they did and got to know each other better.

Especially Sophia and DeShawn, who had a lot in common such as their enthusiasm for sports. They got along pretty well.

He told Sophia about his success in college with the basketball team, whereas Sophia revealed to him that she also played basketball in college and that she wasn't even that bad (Emphasis mine, but WTF???? Wasn't even that bad? What kind of back handed insult is this?)

But since women don't really earn much from it, she just studied sports and after her time as a lecturer, she decided to become a high school teacher.

In fact, Sophia found him very likable. And so they kept chatting about basketball and workouts, whereas Vicky, of course, also wasn't ignored."

What the hell is this writing? This is boring by every definition. This is a visual medium, the motto "show, don't tell" exists for a reason. Instead, we get 5 poorly written lines across 1 static image telling us about the conversation that we're supposed to be a part of. This is lazy in the worst possible way. This conversation should have been fluid, showing the three of them engaging in an interesting conversation and enjoying one another. Instead, we're told that they had a conversation, and that Sophia enjoyed it, but we don't actually get to see the conversation or experience it. This is an absolute master class in things you should not do when trying to tell a story. We get no sense of DeShawn as a character with this boring exposition. We don't even get any sense of Vicky as she is only referenced awkwardly in the last line "Whereas Vicky, of course, also wasn't ignored." Like, what the fuck is that?

Then, immediately following this exciting exchange, we get 16 consecutive frames of dialog that transition between the same two images. The images never change, the camera just transitions back and forth looking at DeShawn or Sophia. Here we get some actual conversation between the two of them...and it's boring. They're reciting facts to each other, but not really having an entertaining conversation. Sophia tells DeShawn about herself, sharing facts with him that we as the audience already know and don't need to hear again. Yes, she's a teacher. Yes, she's married. Yes, she has kids. Yes, her husband works in the fashion industry. Yes, she's only working part-time right now. We learn nothing about Sophia in this exchange. We could have learned more about Sophia in the previous exchange about sports, but L&P decided to skip over that so that he could show her repeating facts to us that we already know. All of this requires 16 clicks of the mouse to get through. 16 clicks between two images. It's boring, uninspired, and lazy.

And what happens when we get to the sexual content of this scene? From the beginning when you select "Stay and watch them a little bit" to the end when you select "Call attention to yourself", there are 5 frames of content, only 2 of which show any sexual content. The other three are the same image of Sophia at two different angles. We just spent 16 frames going over the same old boring details about Sophia that were established way back on Day 1, but when we get to the show L&P can't be bothered to create more than 2 new renders and only 5 total frames?

From top to bottom, this scene is a fucking disaster. We can like slow burns, but this can't even be considered a burn because there's no heat.
I told everyone in this thread 2 years ago that from a writer perspective this is overkill of build up which will result in a boring and unsatisfying pay off of any kind. If you build up a scene for let's say 400 renders but the pay off is just 2 or 4 renders you have a huge problem on your hands.

This game has by far the most renders i have ever seen. Problem is the story is not going anywhere. Characters do not develop. Scenes are either non existing (to this day) or simply a mere joke if you look back at how much build up was made for such a scene to even happen.

There is no way for the dev (or the team idk nor do i care) to fix any of that anymore. Nothing they can pull off in terms of spicy or sex scenes would feel satisfying because you have now 3 arguments against them.

1. Why not sooner?
2. Why only that little?
3. Boy that was overkill. Way to much.

A middle ground is non existing anymore as that ship has long since sailed to even work in terms or narration anymore. I told people 2 years ago that this is nothing more but a milking game and will keep doing so until more and more ppl start realizing that this is going nowhere from update to update. By that point the devs either count their money and run or worse they try to fix the game which they already set up to fail.

Either way i am sitting here 2 years later and laugh my ass off as every single word i posted in 2018 has come true. :ROFLMAO: :ROFLMAO: :ROFLMAO: :ROFLMAO: :ROFLMAO:
 

Loxyas

Member
Jul 22, 2018
228
843
I'm not fooling myself for suggesting that Sophya will become pregnant at some point, right? At the begining of the game she clearly tells Lyam that she want's more kids, later on when Dyland tells her about the fantasies of the boys in school for her she's turned on by the thought of getting their seed unprotected, impregnating her. And now this latest scene with the convict, wetting herself from his fantasy of taking her hard, raw and unprotected. Clearly she wants a baby bump and the less loyal she becomes, the less she cares from who she'll get it. Does someone knew L&P mentioning something on the topic?
 

Mamonetti

Active Member
Apr 4, 2020
623
1,141
by the way if you pick the alyssa event over the pool scene you can´t enjoy the morning event with ellie :(.
As expected.. that's why I've decided to leave Alyssa behind in my walktthrough. I don't know if losing the Alyssa event from the previous day will have consequences in the future (not for the filthy points you lose from Zak, but for Sophia's future events with him and Alyssa), but for me Ellie is more important.
 

Old Dog

Message Maven
Donor
Jul 20, 2017
15,901
97,199
I'm not fooling myself for suggesting that Sophya will become pregnant at some point, right? At the begining of the game she clearly tells Lyam that she want's more kids, later on when Dyland tells her about the fantasies of the boys in school for her she's turned on by the thought of getting their seed unprotected, impregnating her. And now this latest scene with the convict, wetting herself from his fantasy of taking her hard, raw and unprotected. Clearly she wants a baby bump and the less loyal she becomes, the less she cares from who she'll get it. Does someone knew L&P mentioning something on the topic?
Nothing has been mentioned by dev about this topic
 

adryr

Newbie
Jul 25, 2019
89
96
i thought Vicky was in lesbian route. so if we just want Vicky for ourself , we have to accept DeShawn and we can not get rid of him?
Sorry for my poor english.
 

Kaidman

Member
Dec 8, 2017
475
515
I find this update has introduced paths that ultimately will delay other paths progression a detour update if you will
 

Greek_Lover

Newbie
May 1, 2019
15
9
When you assume the game will take 5 years for completion, you probably don't mean it by heart. But do you know what's funny? He did say a while ago he did actually plan to take 5 years to finish the game lmao.
Of course he will..God bless suckers..(patrons)
 

GingerSweetGirl

Engaged Member
Aug 23, 2020
2,528
12,125
i thought Vicky was in lesbian route. so if we just want Vicky for ourself , we have to accept DeShawn and we can not get rid of him?
Sorry for my poor english.
We don't know. It appears that Vicky and DeShawn will open up some options for threesomes or group sex. But whether or not Vicky and Sophia will have a one-on-one relationship is unknown.

I find this update has introduced paths that ultimately will delay other paths progression a detour update if you will
The primary question is the new assistant coaching position. I'm highly skeptical that L&P can weave this into the story without removing something else. I think the 1st job is likely to be cut, and be replaced by this coaching job, but that's purely speculation.
 

Old Dog

Message Maven
Donor
Jul 20, 2017
15,901
97,199
As expected.. that's why I've decided to leave Alyssa behind in my walktthrough. I don't know if losing the Alyssa event from the previous day will have consequences in the future (not for the filthy points you lose from Zak, but for Sophia's future events with him and Alyssa), but for me Ellie is more important.
If you drop Alyssa she is gone I am not too sure about Zac though but Alyssa is done
 

baka

Engaged Member
Modder
Oct 13, 2016
3,592
7,559
looking at the pictures, theres a couple of routes u can take, put together its a "good" release, but since we are all in different paths, there amount is not enough for the wait.
I believe if the dev would make a kinetic novel instead, it would have been better and we would get enough content each update.
my "main" route offered very little, and the last few updates put together, my "route" its not enough to feel satisfied.
theres tons of lesbian stuff, and if the dev enjoy that, he should just do that.
 

Old Dog

Message Maven
Donor
Jul 20, 2017
15,901
97,199
We don't know. It appears that Vicky and DeShawn will open up some options for threesomes or group sex. But whether or not Vicky and Sophia will have a one-on-one relationship is unknown.


The primary question is the new assistant coaching position. I'm highly skeptical that L&P can weave this into the story without removing something else. I think the 1st job is likely to be cut, and be replaced by this coaching job, but that's purely speculation.
Both jobs will not be dropped but Sophia can take a break from them
 

sa2222

Newbie
Jul 10, 2020
58
127
I'm not really seeing a net benefit to milking the development. I would think getting the game done faster and moving on to a new project would create a bigger following. Not saying he isn't milking it, just saying from a business standpoint, if he has aspirations of leveraging his success to create bigger and better projects, he shouldn't drag this current one out. But if this is the only project he will ever care about... well, ok, it makes sense to milk it.
 
3.20 star(s) 482 Votes