VN Ren'Py A Wife and Mother [v0.220] [Lust & Passion]

[Ohhyeahbabe]

Progress Report Ver. 0.190.

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So No Teaser alright, this update has much to hide, i think.

 

[Radoslaw Wolf]

Objective evaluation is not possible when discussing art.
Reactions to art is always subjective.

I know, hence "as possible" disclaimer.

So the Sam scenes are the hottest ones for me from both an art and story perspective.

I agree the latest Sam scene is in the same tier, so it comes as second to me, or as first to you. From my perspective, though, it was rushed and lost the remaining traces of "realism" and sanity.

Even more so, now that we know the circumstances of Sophia's first sexual encounter. That backstory coming full circle with Sam adds delightful spice to the Sophia/Sam story.

What's the circle exactly?

 

[Sagf]

No new teaser yet, it's been almost 10 days, I wonder what it is happening, as a reason, is it a very hot teaser for fans?

 

[FullyAnimated]

What's the circle exactly?

The Sophia flashback to her teenage years when she slept with her friend's father.

 

[Radoslaw Wolf]

The Sophia flashback to her teenage years when she slept with her friend's father.

Gotcha. Sounds promising when you put it that way.
Part of me wants to believe there is some thought to this, and it presents some wholeness of Sofia's pattern of behavior. On the other hand, the first time story "feels" like it was one of a few patches of different fabric (sic!) tacked chaotically only recently to push things forth.

 

[Radoslaw Wolf]

Yep. Add to that the fact that a whole bunch of patrons aren't even part of F95 or other pirate sites

I would not be so sure of that. It was quite the opposite in my case - a pirate site brought me to Patreon (although it was not F95).

 

[菊花献给党]

Does that include the 2 hour European family lunch at home? (I’m kidding I’m jealous though in the US I only get a fuckin 40 minute lunch)

Does European lunch take 2 hours? This is just heaven.

 

[palmtrees89]

I would not be so sure of that. It was quite the opposite in my case - a pirate site brought me to Patreon (although it was not F95).

Many are, as most developers start their careers on F95&Co, but there are lots of people who just look for adult games via Patreon aswell, and those would be entirely left out if L&P were to release his project in his native language.

Or as Ginger put it earlier, a way to alienate the audience.

Even if, in theory, every patron had a way to get the fanmade translation, I'm pretty sure it would be worse than the original. You'd either end up with a google translation or people who simply aren't 100% fluent in both languages. People up for this task are usually not working for free as it's quite a bit of work, especially for a project such as AWAM where there's a ton of dialogue compared to other VN's. Either way, he'd likely have way less patrons if the game was released in German.

But on another note, I don't believe for a second that he's actually writing the script in German first and then write it down a second time in English. English isn't my first language either, but I'm not gonna write things down in my native language first before I translate it. That's straight up stupid and doesn't make any sense whatsoever. If I were to struggle formulating a sentence, I'd google it straight away instead of having to type everything down twice. And according to L&P, he's got his translation/proofreader guy anyway, which would make it even more stupid. lol

 

[roro]

But on another note, I don't believe for a second that he's actually writing the script in German first and then write it down a second time in English. English isn't my first language either, but I'm not gonna write things down in my native language first before I translate it. That's straight up stupid and doesn't make any sense whatsoever. If I were to struggle formulating a sentence, I'd google it straight away instead of having to type everything down twice. And according to L&P, he's got his translation/proofreader guy anyway, which would make it even more stupid. lol

In my opinion that depends on one's knowledge of the English language.
When I'm writing here, I'm just writing it in English, but when I'm writing something long enough, I'm always writing it in my native language first, and only then translate it. for me this way is much quicker, because I don't "think" in English.
Some people have their way with languages and some don't.

 

[Awamboy]

better be 1000 render update

I don't mind how many, I'm just hoping to get harder than Chinese algabra.

 

[Dr.SigmundFap]

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[mothersam]

wow what a fast guy haha

 

[McZoy]

Does European lunch take 2 hours? This is just heaven.
[/QUOTE
Lunch break in Europe is 60 min and is not included in the 8 working hours

 

[Bobby Peru]

Is it really confirmed that they are going to the jacuzzi? l&p said it in passing or did he seriously confirm it?

I know that the previews do not reveal anything about what is going to happen... But...

 

[lockerxx]

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thanks!!!! great more alcohol for sophie!!!

 

[AlfredBundy4]

I've got another way to finish it & leave the field open for some talented, hard-working & above all motivated individual or team to do a reboot by going back to basics.

If it's true that most of the core fans just want to see Dylan fuck his own mother, (it's a major must-have whatever the case), or attempt this as part of his/her sex education for virgins programme, it might work.

We're told the thugs are coming back, surely they'll want revenge, as I don't think they'll be looking to ask Patricia where she learned to shoot like that. At the current rate that could be decades from now, so let them come back instead during the long, long PD13. Sophia & Dylan, in a good mood after the night club are walking home feeling light-headed & slightly euphoric. "Well, look at that dress," calls thug 1. "Yeah, fuck me, look at the size of those melons," shouts thug 2, wouldn't mind sucking on those." "Hey, look who it is & she's not with that gun-toting bitch, just some scrawny kid." "Last time we had to be sorry but who's sorry now?" "Let's have some fun." [Deliberate echo of Dylan's words earlier that evening, as a last attempt for AWAM to use a literary device not found much in average teen porn. It's also an echo of the mood in which many fans embark on this slow-motion train wreck for their first play through].

So, the rest of this scene pretty much writes itself but if L&P can't be bothered, neither can I. I'm pretty sure most players of sex games can fill in the blanks.

What the thugs havn't realised is that Dylan has had a couple more martial arts lessons. He's got such innate talent for these & is a quick learner, (as we've seen), that he's now proficient in jujutsu, karate, aikido, kendo & kung fu. He's even privately wondered whether to put on weight to try sumo but decided against it as it would clash with his football (soccer) training. "Wham, splat, pow" & the thugs learn another valuable lesson & this time it makes Sophia someone they just want to forget.

"Oh, Dylan, my hero, you were magnificent. You really know your stuff. I'm so proud of the fine young man I've raised. [Deliberate absence of any reference to Liam, so as not to kill the mood]. I just want to hug & squeeze you & kiss you all over. Let's duck down this side street, so you can catch your breath," gushes the mightily impressed & grateful woman. "You lean against this pillar, after all that effort. Are you O.K.?" Suddenly she realises what a stud has been living right under her nose all these years. Sophia, not wanting to spoil the mood by stopping to think, acts more impulsively than ever before in her life & pulls Dylan into a shop doorway. "How can this be wrong, when it feels so right?" she asks of no-one in particular. "Take me Dylan, I'm yours!" she exclaims, as she steps out of her panties & her son fumbles with the fly of his pants. Somewhere, an orchestra plays & could that be a choir....?

You can guess the rest.... AWAM finished, L&P can start his next project. Maybe someone else will write the story as it should have been, maybe they won't. Virgin schoolboy & sycophant facepalms incoming but you've got to admit that by present standards it's credible & it could put AWAM out of our misery.

The end got me, lol. There are about 3 dudes here that just keep smacking themselves with facepalms and never meeting the points with a counter argument. Total clowns, lol.

Nice post.

 

[DylansMoM_001]

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Okey

 

[DarthSpitz717]

I actually did consider adding in that Sophia is a Gym teacher instead of what she is now, but that would mean there is no logical reason for side job 2 and tutoring. I do think her being a Gym teacher from the get-go is probably the best idea but side job 2 would alienate some people who are a fan of AWAM, so why I decided not to add it but I see the logic to Sophia being a gym teacher.

I also considered that the Aiden tasks not actually having a specific number or that number being lower, 12 is too specific and too long. I actually think it would be better if Sophia just says no and stands up for herself instead of using Morella to end them. I decided against it as honestly, these tasks are popular with a lot and myself included, so I think I could meet the 12 number. However, I would've been very tempted to remove the model scene as that just seemed so random. Also, I agree with reusing locations, so removing the model scene would fit in with what you saying.

The classroom, gym area and Aiden hangout area, and maybe Sophia's home would be the only places where tasks occurred.

Yeah, I agree with Liam, he seems pointless but I'm biased, I would love to remove him altogether and have him killed in a car accident and Sophia is a widow looking after Liam's children. She moves near her sister to get help with raising them. However, some people do like the good wife route and I got nothing against swinging storylines, it does add more to AWAM.

Sometimes you have to decide between what is logical and what is best for the project.

The side jobs are not logical, Liam barely ever around is not logical and the Aiden tasks are not really logical. However, they are reasons to add popular content to AWAM, so a lot of people are fine with it.

________________________________________++++++++++++++++_____________________________________

I actually did consider adding in that Sophia is a Gym teacher instead of what she is now, but that would mean there is no logical reason for side job 2 and tutoring. I do think her being a Gym teacher from the get-go is probably the best idea but side job 2 would alienate some people who are a fan of AWAM, so why I decided not to add it but I see the logic to Sophia being a gym teacher.
Actually it's your story, and how you want to progress is up to you. Regardless of being a gym teacher or having side jobs, the only weakness is Sophia's mind set. What makers her do what she does... we really don't get an inner demon perspective of her thoughts. How she is educating the Myers looks like Dr Ruth gone bad.
I also considered that the Aiden tasks not actually having a specific number or that number being lower, 12 is too specific and too long. I actually think it would be better if Sophia just says no and stands up for herself instead of using Morella to end them. I decided against it as honestly, these tasks are popular with a lot and myself included, so I think I could meet the 12 number. However, I would've been very tempted to remove the model scene as that just seemed so random. Also, I agree with reusing locations, so removing the model scene would fit in with what you saying.
Well, if you're a high school kid and you have a position of power over a (hot) teacher and you're already sexually blackmailing your fellow students... think you might want "something" else???
The classroom, gym area and Aiden hangout area, and maybe Sophia's home would be the only places where tasks occurred.
As above comment but as to tasks, they could have been more "creative." Though at least the strip club and private dance held potential.
Yeah, I agree with Liam, he seems pointless but I'm biased, I would love to remove him altogether and have him killed in a car accident and Sophia is a widow looking after Liam's children. She moves near her sister to get help with raising them. However, some people do like the good wife route and I got nothing against swinging storylines, it does add more to AWAM.
Oh no, Laim could have and still can be the tool that gets you to where you want the story to go. If he was or becomes inattentive, dismissive, more self-absorbed, and neglectful of Sophia's feelings, you give Sophia a "pretext" for whatever happens...or just an excuse. If Sophia's needs are not being met, well.... am sure you can take it from there.
Sometimes you have to decide between what is logical and what is best for the project.
It's my experience in writing anything can be done in a story. It only comes down to how you give it plausibility of it happening.
The side jobs are not logical, Liam barely ever around is not logical and the Aiden tasks are not really logical. However, they are reasons to add popular content to AWAM, so a lot of people are fine with it. Sure those are weak points in the plot--that is until you flesh out how to make them logical.

The whole Aiden story arch. All you had to do was to have Aiden demand things like being allowed to touch her, see her, or do things. You didn't have to have Sophia have sex at all in the tasks or go too far from your intended vision of the game. And you could have turned that rout around with Sophia liking the 'feel' of being kissed or touched, but still loathing Aiden and that loathing finally winning herself free of Aiden.

Keep going with the side jobs. A plot devise to use in either of them (the old duffers or the tutoring) is Sophia has some exhibitionist tendencies... she's a hot woman.... she knows it...people throughout the game have been mentioning it... and it starts to turn her on. Just adding that element in Sophia makes any of your other plots and subplots work better. For example, Sophia sees the love in Sam's eyes and knows it's real and it thrills her that Sam is so taken with her beauty... Sophia is so pretty that her own daughter is on the same level just like when Sophia was a teenager...etc... Then you don't have to do the "clinical" explanation of why Sophia does what she does

 

[DarthSpitz717]

This is actually a great point. It's not that you can't do 12 events with Aiden, but give yourself some wiggle room and leave it undefined. Only make events that advance their relationship, and aren't so procedural. The strict procedure of the events is making them kinda a slog. Obviously you don't want to move too quickly, but the pacing is all out of wack. We take forever for even the smallest baby step of an event to unfold. We have the setup, Sophia's resistence, Aiden's threats, Sophia's acceptance, and then the scene itself. It takes forever to unfold and amounts to only a small step forward in their relationship. By officially stating the number of events, L&P has locked himself into a very drawn out process. I'd use time jumps to montage over a couple of events, therefore showing them in broad detail, and get to an event that is more interesting. This would help with pacing by making the storyline less ponderous, and you could still ensure that each event advances their relationship without taking years to do it.

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GingerSG

Read your post some pages back and I liked it. The improvements you suggested make the story more efficient, but it doesn't strike at the heart of the problem... character motivations.

If you were to prank someone in your corner of the world, wager you have personal motivations for doing so; unless, you're like me and just pure evil not needing motivation, just the sure love of mischief is excuse enough. LOL! But seriously with all books, movies, games that involve a story, the motivation behind the events complete the narrative

 

[GingerSweetGirl]

Many are, as most developers start their careers on F95&Co, but there are lots of people who just look for adult games via Patreon aswell, and those would be entirely left out if L&P were to release his project in his native language.

Or as Ginger put it earlier, a way to alienate the audience.

Even if, in theory, every patron had a way to get the fanmade translation, I'm pretty sure it would be worse than the original. You'd either end up with a google translation or people who simply aren't 100% fluent in both languages. People up for this task are usually not working for free as it's quite a bit of work, especially for a project such as AWAM where there's a ton of dialogue compared to other VN's. Either way, he'd likely have way less patrons if the game was released in German.

But on another note, I don't believe for a second that he's actually writing the script in German first and then write it down a second time in English. English isn't my first language either, but I'm not gonna write things down in my native language first before I translate it. That's straight up stupid and doesn't make any sense whatsoever. If I were to struggle formulating a sentence, I'd google it straight away instead of having to type everything down twice. And according to L&P, he's got his translation/proofreader guy anyway, which would make it even more stupid. lol

And let's keep in mind that the fans would be translating from German to English. I'm not an expert, but German to English seems like one of the more challenging European languages. It would be one thing if it were a romance language, but German is a different beast. Finding someone who speaks fluent English and German would be really difficult.