You seem to overlook an essential aspect. His supporters. He is either a genius knowing that half of his supporters are degenerates (And i'm being nice) or a complete weirdo. He made all these adjustments throughout the years to please them, i don't even think he likes dylan at all, but still gave him the second most important role. And there are many examples like that (shota, aiden, nursing home...).He is a he, started VERY young, and is still pretty inexperienced in live. Reason? Pretty simple, I'm 40, and I'm telling you, not a single adult makes any remote sense, every single adult in this novel is disfunctional to an extend. We do not think like that, we do not act like that, we do not react like that. He clearly has absolutely no clue of how adult world works.
His avatar is Dylan or Sam, that is how he looked like when he started the novel.
A 35yo woman going to a club with a 16yo guy? come on! Do you realise how ridiculous that actually looks like? It's embarrasing for her!
A 35ish yo woman enjoying a 15yo rock concert? do you know how lame those events are? do you know how bad that sounds?
I could tell you 30 reasons why he is clearly below 25, and if he is over 25, he is handicapped by some means.
Anyways, this is a fantasy, just try to have fun, but realism and maturity are far far far gone.
He is trying to include as many fetishes as possible. Even the most twisted people on earth don't have that many kinks, which means he is doing it on purpose, to reach the largest audience possible.