Ren'Py Age of Warhammer [v0.3fix] [SARIZ]

[harem.king]

> Succubus: darling, you are so lucky to have me on your side
(ideally because you have been choosing to deepen the bond with her previously. but I guess you can also do it as a snap choice between "weak faith" and "strong faith".).

Actually. thinking about it. by this point your relationship with the succubus should have already been solidified. With you being firmly in either the succubus route or the faith route (exorcised)
you should gate this entire event behind having already accepted or rejected the succubus.

have some church interactions.
have some temptation events.

for example, at the start of the game you make a char creation choice between normal dick or huge dick. this could instead start out as:
> You have a dream where the succubus says she blesses you with a bitch breaker.
choices:
A. Immediately run to church and pray for salvation. [normal dick] [+1 faith]
B. At first you dismiss it as a silly dream. But once your dick truly grows you realize it is real and rush over to pray for salvation. [large dick] [+1 faith]
C. You find the idea sexually repulsive. You ask the succubus to not make that change. [normal dick] [+1 succubus]
D. You find this extremely sexy. You feel thankful towards the succubus, this truly is a great blessing. [large dick] [+1 succubus]

To be clear. I think the parts in parenthesis should be visible to the player. explicitly informing them of the consequences of this choice.
Although some devs insist on hiding them. the choice on whether to hide or expose them is unrelated thing.

Another choice point could be when encountering the brothel.
The succubus lure you into the brothel. Where you could gain faith or succubus progress based on choices.
If you go with succubus you should probably get discount. Like, maybe the whore finds you irresistible and will fuck you for free. Heck, you could even become her pimp if you are into that.

Another choice point could be visiting the local church.

plus maybe a few other events. so you could have a well established pool of faith / succubus connection to draw on before ever encountering the gnoll.

Another idea is... instead of making it numeric. make it actual route locking. like so:
A. Immediately run to church and pray for salvation. [normal dick] [pure faith route]
B. At first you dismiss it as a silly dream. But once your dick truly grows you realize it is real and rush over to pray for salvation. [large dick] [pure faith route]
C. You find the idea sexually repulsive. You ask the succubus to not make that change. [normal dick] [succubus route]
D. You find this extremely sexy. You feel thankful towards the succubus, this truly is a great blessing. [large dick] [succubus route]

 

[PandyBou]

Alright. I am going to try to be constructive here.
My own personal dislike for NTR aside, this is just poorly written, so I will be proactive and constructive and suggest exactly how you can fix it in a way which I think will make it better for both sides.

1. while personally will never pursue the NTR path, I am able to recognize the NTR currently is bad for NTR fans because it lacks impact.
you simply had so little interaction and relationship with the designated waifus.
You jumped the gun and introduced it far far too early.
You need to actually spend time to build a relationship first to evoke cuckoldry feelings to give NTR fans their hit.

2. if you intend for the NTR to be really be optional like you claim. Then that means you should NOT whore out your personal succubus lover to "prevent" NTR. I don't care that "she is a succubus, she must have a huge body count". right now she is bonded with YOU the MC, and as such her being whored out by you is explicitly netorase.

To be more specific and suggest exact specific scene changes:
A. You should delay meeting the gnoll king for now. Let the MC skirmish with gnoll underlings for now. Temporarily disable the current scenes with the gnoll king. While developing the relationships with the waifus.

B. let player choose whether to deepen bond with succubus or exorcise her based on her own merits rather than forcing it upon the player as a means of NTR avoidance.

C. when the gnoll king thing finally happens. don't have it as a "leave and think about it".
it makes no bloody sense. instead have it happen as a snap decision on the spot, an optional one, and one that only makes sense in a corrupt path with the aid of the succubus.

D. allow an actual pure path. where you neither succumb to daemons nor to NTR.
> Your faith is pure and strong.
> You feel a great upsurge of certainty in [god]. You brandish [holy symbol] which emits a burst of light
> the glowing wards surrounding the enemy dim under the light of your faith
> Your party members do not miss that opportunity, and roast him to a crisp.

E. in the corrupt path where you deepen your relationship with the succubus, have a choice between [corrupted harem] and [corrupted NTR] paths and make it an actual in character choice that is not forced.
but is based on your personal fetishes. You are being tempted by a SUCCUBUS.
she should be appealing to your fetishes. She should be trying to tempt you with harem or netorare based on your own desires.
More explicit examples:
> Succubus: darling, you are so lucky to have me on your side
(ideally because you have been choosing to deepen the bond with her previously. but I guess you can also do it as a snap choice between "weak faith" and "strong faith".).
> "Your bonded succubus shows you vissions, tempting you with your deepest sexual desires. The most appealing of which is:
[You see yourself being infused with power. You slay the beast, and then conquer your party (Harem Route)]
[You see an aura of lust covering the battle. Enemies and allies alike are inflamed with lust. The enemy champion offers a lewd compromise (NTR Route)]

It is worth noting that pure route and corrupt harem have a lot of overlap. mostly differing in dialog. (and possibly corrupt harem having a few more scenes)

If you really dislike the pure route, you can have it be a non-standard game over. (eg: you quickly get an epilogue about how you were a bastion of purity. and spent many years successfully beating back the forces of darkness. even swearing celibacy. or something)

Is just the V.03 of the game, your ideas are great indeed, i also think for multiple endings depending on the choices made by the MC, Bad and normal NTR, Bad and Good Corruption, Harem endings, alone endings, and Vanilla 1 girl solo or harem ending even a True ending, the game now is very early for the multiple options this story may go, if i get only one path even having multiple better or worst options in the game it self, then yeah, it will be a bad game with a fake illution of liberty in your decitions.

I hope all your good points and suggestions will be listen and made a game for the taste of all of us.

 

[PandyBou]

Actually. thinking about it. by this point your relationship with the succubus should have already been solidified. With you being firmly in either the succubus route or the faith route (exorcised)
you should gate this entire event behind having already accepted or rejected the succubus.

have some church interactions.
have some temptation events.

for example, at the start of the game you make a char creation choice between normal dick or huge dick. this could instead start out as:
> You have a dream where the succubus says she blesses you with a bitch breaker.
choices:
A. Immediately run to church and pray for salvation. [normal dick] [+1 faith]
B. At first you dismiss it as a silly dream. But once your dick truly grows you realize it is real and rush over to pray for salvation. [large dick] [+1 faith]
C. You find the idea sexually repulsive. You ask the succubus to not make that change. [normal dick] [+1 succubus]
D. You find this extremely sexy. You feel thankful towards the succubus, this truly is a great blessing. [large dick] [+1 succubus]

To be clear. I think the parts in parenthesis should be visible to the player. explicitly informing them of the consequences of this choice.
Although some devs insist on hiding them. the choice on whether to hide or expose them is unrelated thing.

Another choice point could be when encountering the brothel.
The succubus lure you into the brothel. Where you could gain faith or succubus progress based on choices.
If you go with succubus you should probably get discount. Like, maybe the whore finds you irresistible and will fuck you for free. Heck, you could even become her pimp if you are into that.

Another choice point could be visiting the local church.

plus maybe a few other events. so you could have a well established pool of faith / succubus connection to draw on before ever encountering the gnoll.

Another idea is... instead of making it numeric. make it actual route locking. like so:
A. Immediately run to church and pray for salvation. [normal dick] [pure faith route]
B. At first you dismiss it as a silly dream. But once your dick truly grows you realize it is real and rush over to pray for salvation. [large dick] [pure faith route]
C. You find the idea sexually repulsive. You ask the succubus to not make that change. [normal dick] [succubus route]
D. You find this extremely sexy. You feel thankful towards the succubus, this truly is a great blessing. [large dick] [succubus route]

 

[harem.king]

View attachment 3990060 View attachment 3990063

who are you quoting?
are those your idea? the devs?
----
overall, look fine as far as options go
it is missing a non corruption harem. (yes, I realize it is harder to pull off. but... fantasy.)

except true ending which is bad because:
1. it nullifies the meaning of all your choices, as it makes every other ending a false ending that didn't really happen.
2. it forces you to play through every single flavor of NTR to unlock? no thank you.
3. extreme grind.

True Ending is normally found in japanese VNs where your endings are:
end 1 = marry waifu 1
end 2 = marry waifu 2
end 3 = marry waifu 3
True Ending = harem

which, while more palatable than forced NTR route, is still not good as it is forced padding/grind.
it forces you to replay the game over and over to unlock the harem route.

 

[PandyBou]

who are you quoting?
are those your idea? the devs?
----
overall, look fine as far as options go
it is missing a non corruption harem. (yes, I realize it is harder to pull off. but... fantasy.)

except true ending which is bad because:
1. it nullifies the meaning of all your choices, as it makes every other ending a false ending that didn't really happen.
2. it forces you to play through every single flavor of NTR to unlock? no thank you.
3. extreme grind.

True Ending is normally found in japanese VNs where your endings are:
end 1 = marry waifu 1
end 2 = marry waifu 2
end 3 = marry waifu 3
True Ending = harem

which, while more palatable than forced NTR route, is still not good as it is forced padding/grind.
it forces you to replay the game over and over to unlock the harem route.

I think you are right on the true ending, I have seen them on Japan VN so I think will be a good idea for this game, but you are 100 corect of not going for a Ntr route just by unblock the true end

And yes, Those were my ideas from the discord after playing the game yesterday at nigth.

Thank you for letting me know how True ending works and is not a good idea for this game, specialy for the ones who don like Ntr content.