I'm already looking into adding more gameplay elements to the story, if all goes well there's a certain point in the story where I can split the story and make a direct sequel with a different gameplay (So I don't have to reboot the whole game from scratch).
I doubt I'll ever use the RPG maker, I've heard it's a pain to add proper VN functionality. I was thinking of a more standard dating simulator, with the difference that the money you earn does not come from jobs, but directly from the girls, which is also based on your performance/skills.
Personally, I think some people exaggerate the need for "gameplay"; I'm more into the story/stories of a given game, and how that story is presented -- linearly as in a kinetic novel, via choices as in a VN, or with a protagonist avatar moving around and entering into combat-like and puzzle situations -- is in itself less important than how well the preferred choice expresses the story. I.e., these possibilities are tools, not boxes to be checked. If introducing gameplay in a route serves the needs of the story and makes the narrative more enjoyable, great! But if it doesn't, introducing it may not be such a good idea.
The sub in me loves the way you made the MC totally dependent on the girls: he'll do anything they want (and how many kinks are you willing to make him go through? maybe some light femdom with, say, shoe kissing, ass worship, etc.?...) after they pay him. I love the way Rea used him (it would be nice if every girl got a cunnilingus scene with the MC the way Rea did... seeing his head between her legs was so lovely) and then calls him a whore. If the other girls could call him that, too, it would be wonderful!
Fuck, that's a really good analogy! How did I not think of that? You're putting me to shame, haha. About the story, there's an underlying plot with some tragic elements, and there are also the obvious dystopian aspects in which the future of the story lies, but it never gets totally dark, It's a heartwarming story at its core.
Hey, don't worry. I love literature and thinking about literature (heck, I even taught writing in grad school for a while), so I tend to think of analogies like that. I'm glad the story is ultimately heartwarming (there's too much gloom and doom in femdom stories already); but then again, Pinocchio, also ultimately a heartwarming story, has some pretty dark moments.
At this point, though, your story made me curious about the personality and motivations of at least two characters beside the MC: Rea and Emily (the other girls are thus far not very distinct, though I'm guessing this will change in chapter two). I hope we'll get to know them better, and not only in a sexual way. Rea seems to be a geeky, wacky girl who isn't very organized (the teacher calls her "Lazy Rea") but who is obviously very intelligent; she also apparently doesn't know how to handle people well (a little bit of Asperger's?), as one can see how she treats and talks to the MC (and again I say, I just LOVE how she pimps him out: he does all the work, the collar forces him to, against his will, while Rea gets all the money and gives him nothing... how sweet! Makes me feel like giving her a hug.)
I'm glad someone likes Emily, her design is a little plain, so I wasn't sure what people would think of her.
I actually like her design, she looks pretty. And she seems interesting: she is clearly poorer than the others and tries to hide it from them to avoid their judgmental attitude (she hides her food, for instance); this creates sympathy for her and makes me want to know more about her history and her situation. I hope she does get to live a true romance, even if not with the MC.
The "True Route" is Rea, there is an underlying plot line involving your death and disease that is central to her character, but Emily and Mia were intended to be main girls with their individual routes.
Oh, I'm interested already. Death and disease?... Is this connected to the picture of the teacher talking about the XY purge? (That picture reminded me, by the way, of a graphic novel called "Y: The Last Man," that also deals with a world in which some kind of plague killed all men -- in fact all male mammals -- except one. Do you know it? It is certainly not a comedy, more of a tragedy, but I wondered if it could give you some worldbuilding inspiration.)
In a more standard scenario, her route would have been the more vanilla/romantic one, and that often means it's the route with least sexual content at the beginning. In some games this causes unbalanced choices such as "Do you want to hold hands with this girl... or have an animated sex scene with this other one?” If the choices aren't equally appealing to the player, that removes some of the weight of having to choose in the first place.
Personally, even though I like a hot sex scene just as much as the next guy, I'm also a romantic, so, frankly, I might well choose the "hold hands with this girl" option even in my first playthrough, depending on the situation. I don't think that a route with less sexual content at first is such a bad idea. True, we're talking about hentai games here, but still, plot and character development ARE interesting and worthwhile goals to pursue, just as much as cunnilingus and male prostitution...
(By the way, out of curiosity: I was a bit surprised by how casually the girls stripped naked and started playing that "insert-fingers-in-anus" game. True, they're all girls so nudity may not be a big deal, but... why that kind of teasing game? Is it OK in a girls-will-be-girls kind of way in that society? What would the teachers say about it?)
The fact that she is "poor" is a factor in the way that, even if she would like to take things slower, the time she has with you is limited and it is not enough to satisfy her (emotionally or otherwise), so she is forced to be more forward in her advances.
True, but I imagine being poor also affects her behavior and her relationship with the other girls, especially if they keep taunting her about it, as if Emily was some kind of Oliver Twist, which suggests some possible non-sexual but interesting interactions with the other girls... Also, if the MC develops feelings for her, he might also service her for free, just because he likes her (heck, in Chap. 1 he already attempts to save her from the mean girls, and they share a moment in that cabinet; I imagine he already feels something for her). In this case, they would have more time to play and perhaps build a relationship, especially if at some point she discovers he is a "real boy".
As
SurprisedMoth said, that was just a template of how things could go, it was a more linear approach based on rebellion/submission to the collar. That changed, now I'm using a more standard choice-based story approach (still with a score system for each girl), With the difference that it also counts the credits you earn, the coins you can hide for yourself and how close you are to being exposed.
Out of curiosity, will we be warned about what choices give us credit or lead to our being exposed? Or do we have to guess? (I prefer the latter, by the way.)
