VN Ren'Py Ariana’s Perverted Diary [v0.7.3] [Girls on Top]

[Nattrack]

I feel so conflicted about this one, I need to post this.

On one hand, it's pretty much a kinetic novel with next to no story - so it *should* be rubbish, little more than a slideshow.
Yet what little story is there is surprisingly good (in a way)...

No, it's not. It's some stupid shit about a hot girl that uses magic to fuck her own family A lame excuse for showing lesbianism and incest. And now, even futas. Damn, there are even dogs! It's just a kinky as fuck porn game you can play with just one hand and half the brain shut down. And you know what? ITS GREAT. It doesn't need a "good" story, just crazy, kinky stuff, and not take itself too seriously. Actually, trying to introduce a "good" story and starting taking itself seriously, just would make this game worse.

 

[goose2025]

This update was shorter than my dick. And that's saying something. WTF lol

 

[doccop63]

Is 7.3 the right episide number? I have the last DL for this in my hard drive that's numbered 7.3 from July 23 of this year.

 

[Girls on Top Games]

Is 7.3 the right episide number? I have the last DL for this in my hard drive that's numbered 7.3 from July 23 of this year.

That should be 7.2

 

[52637]

The most catastrophically misspelled script I've ever seen. What the actual fuck. "Compleate" garbage.

 

[BenHatira]

This update was shorter than my dick. And that's saying something. WTF lol

My main project is the super hero game, you can find more information on my patreon.

The Dev stated more than once in this thread that this game is just a side project - a actually fan service at the end of the day.

So just be happy we get new content ( I had to think about a movie quote "A small dick is a disability man. You wouldn't make fun of a guy in a wheelchair would you?" while reading your comment ) !

Anyway i'am cool with what we get and thank you for that Girls on Top Games !

 

[Commander Booty]

The most catastrophically misspelled script I've ever seen. What the actual fuck. "Compleate" garbage.

Yes, that's what I was saying (see my previous post).

Again - Girls on Top Games PLEASE LET ME EDIT THIS FOR YOU. I am happy to fix the typos and basic grammar but won't re-write the story or change anything you wouldn't want me to. Just let me clean is up. It is a mess!!

 

[Knight_of_the_lance]

The most catastrophically misspelled script I've ever seen. What the actual fuck. "Compleate" garbage.

As a non native English speaker I blame MTG for making me think, for a time, that this was the correct orthograph for that word.

It's a side project, like Ben said, and they are hard at work on their main project. All their actual resources go there and I must say that the art snippets I see from it look promising. So there isn't much that can go in APD, except maybe what the wild imagination of GotG is cooking up that can't go in that other project. I'm just glad they find the time to add to this game from time to time in their spare time.

As a side project I find the pace of the sex and story quite good since they can't dedicate more time to it than what we currently have.

here are some typos I came across:

Spoiler: typos and others

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[Commander Booty]

As a non native English speaker I blame MTG for making me think, for a time, that this was the correct orthograph for that word.

It's a side project, like Ben said, and they are hard at work on their main project. All their actual resources go there and I must say that the art snippets I see from it look promising. So there isn't much that can go in APD, except maybe what the wild imagination of GotG is cooking up that can't go in that other project. I'm just glad they find the time to add to this game from time to time in their spare time.

As a side project I find the pace of the sex and story quite good since they can't dedicate more time to it than what we currently have.

here are some typos I came across:

Spoiler: typos and others

You don't have permission to view the spoiler content. Log in or register now.

"Bajillion" is probably the word he was trying to spell. And those are merely a few of the massive number of typos in this game.

 

[SomeoneElseToo]

You have weird ideas. Why all kinatic novels should necessary be rubbish? A kinetic novel is basically a linear story. They can be good or bad as any story. And to be honest, I hate overcomplicated games in which your LI drops you in Chapter 10 because you have sneezed in Chapter 2.
I prefer clean and clear games where you can get all the best outcomes in one go if you make logical choises or no choises at all for that matter.
The story in this game is not that bad. I have seen many much much worse even with a lot of choises.

If I want to read a story, I will read a story.
If I want to watch a movie, I will watch a movie.
If I want to play a game, then either my choices should matter or - if the story is fully linear - there should be other elements to balance it (minigames, difficult to obtain equipment/skills, etc.).

Kinetic novels fail here - they're basically picture books.

The story here is barely there, but MC does go through some internal conflict, even if it gets hand weaved away almost immediately with porn logic - which in a porn game isn't a bad thing, but a bit more buildup would have been nice.

(on the other hand, I do think that W.I.T.C.H was seriously diminished by not addressing 'rape during wartime' issue, despite the age of its target audience, so my opinions are highly questionable)

 

[Daekas]

"Bajillion" is probably the word he was trying to spell. And those are merely a few of the massive number of typos in this game.

'What do you mean, sweaty?' (What do you mean, sweety?)
'You're tan lans have faded' (Your tan lines have faded)
'Does that feel good sweaty?' (Does that feel good, sweety?)
'Unhealty' (Unhealthy)
'beter' (Better)

--
Basically all next to each other.
Seems like the dev's a fkn degenerate that can't write for shit once he has tolook at tits.
Like, literally. The spelling reaches rock bottom once a scene starts.

 

[Udayana]

'What do you mean, sweaty?' (What do you mean, sweety?)
'You're tan lans have faded' (Your tan lines have faded)
'Does that feel good sweaty?' (Does that feel good, sweety?)
'Unhealty' (Unhealthy)
'beter' (Better)

--
Basically all next to each other.
Seems like the dev's a fkn degenerate that can't write for shit once he has tolook at tits.
Like, literally. The spelling reaches rock bottom once a scene starts.

You're quite right. Except about "sweaty", perhaps it was intended when you think of the situation where it's said

 

[goose2025]

The Dev stated more than once in this thread that this game is just a side project - a actually fan service at the end of the day.

So just be happy we get new content ( I had to think about a movie quote "A small dick is a disability man. You wouldn't make fun of a guy in a wheelchair would you?" while reading your comment ) !

Anyway i'am cool with what we get and thank you for that Girls on Top Games !

you mean all this time I could be claiming disability?! Been sleeping on this bag! To clarify though - am not a dev, just a garden variety internet wanker. I appreciate the work devs do. My comment was an observation rather than a complaint; because I like this game and look forward to the updates

 

[Aioto]

If I want to read a story, I will read a story.
If I want to watch a movie, I will watch a movie.
If I want to play a game, then either my choices should matter or - if the story is fully linear - there should be other elements to balance it (minigames, difficult to obtain equipment/skills, etc.).

Kinetic novels fail here - they're basically picture books.

The story here is barely there, but MC does go through some internal conflict, even if it gets hand weaved away almost immediately with porn logic - which in a porn game isn't a bad thing, but a bit more buildup would have been nice.

(on the other hand, I do think that W.I.T.C.H was seriously diminished by not addressing 'rape during wartime' issue, despite the age of its target audience, so my opinions are highly questionable)

Yes they're like picture books, that still doesn't make them inherently bad. And the conflict doesn't get hand waived with porn logic, it gets hand waived with porn magic (of which this game has a lot).

 

[RNG]

Dev really needs to stop spelling sweetie as sweaty.

 

[Girls on Top Games]

I just started the new update only to find multiple typos. Some were subtle but some were obvious like garatntiee (supposed to be "guarantee"). There were many other typos but that was the most glaring example.

Girls on Top Games - I get that English is not your native language, but ANY common spellcheck would not yield that result. It just seems like you are guessing how the words are spelled. IDK

But considering the comment I quoted above, I am saying this from 'a place of wanting something to be better.' As it appears you have editorial issues, I would volunteer my services as an unpaid editorial assistant. Yes, free of charge. I do not want to play another update with garbage text like that and I will help you fix it for free.

There are also issues with grammar and sentence structure throughout the dialogue. I can help with that too. If you are interested in speaking further, please let me know how to contact you outside this forum.

The most catastrophically misspelled script I've ever seen. What the actual fuck. "Compleate" garbage.

"Bajillion" is probably the word he was trying to spell. And those are merely a few of the massive number of typos in this game.

'What do you mean, sweaty?' (What do you mean, sweety?)
'You're tan lans have faded' (Your tan lines have faded)
'Does that feel good sweaty?' (Does that feel good, sweety?)
'Unhealty' (Unhealthy)
'beter' (Better)

--
Basically all next to each other.
Seems like the dev's a fkn degenerate that can't write for shit once he has tolook at tits.
Like, literally. The spelling reaches rock bottom once a scene starts.

You're quite right. Except about "sweaty", perhaps it was intended when you think of the situation where it's said

Dev really needs to stop spelling sweetie as sweaty.

Okay I get it already!

 

[Commander Booty]

Okay I get it already!

Please read my first comment. I would love to help you with this issue.

 

[damnedfrog]

Okay I get it already!

Don't sweat to much sweetie
I'm lucky that English isn't my native language, so misspellings or grammatical errors don't bother me too much

 

[RNG]

Okay I get it already!

Just run it through a spell checker. It's an easy fix.

 

[B.W.H]

How often the dav update?