RPGM Abandoned Artificial bonds [v0.2a] [Kiratta]

[KawaiiandOmoshiroi]

I'm not a native speaker but l recommend you to change some odd phrasing in your pateon and game summary.
In Patreon everything is ok except your objective: "With this goal i can spend more time studying, which means improve of my game(s)" If with the goal you'll spend more time studying and not making the game, wht support you? I guess that was not your intention. But you should clarify studying what. If it's English or game development, that would be good. As it stands in the Patreon objective the first thing I thought was studying for college.
Lastly "which means improve of my game(s)": the correct form should be "the improvement of my game(s)" or "to improve my game(s)"

In the summary: "Now she's living with you and it's up to to decide, how you'll spend this time together." I believe the comma is unnecessary. Also "up to you"
Like this: "Now she's living with you and it's up to you to decide how you'll spend this time together."

 

[Thackerweil]

Can i ask you how often you will update the game? And how big updates will be?

I'd like to update my game every month. How big those updates will be? Let's say I want to add something completely different with every next update. Not just new renders and a wall of text with my broken English, but new battle system, relationship system, a full support of day and night system with various events there and so on

However for now it's just my wet dreams I promise you here. You will see the real potential of the game (or it's degradation) in the next couple of months)

 

[Thackerweil]

I'm not a native speaker but l recommend you to change some odd phrasing in your pateon and game summary.
In Patreon everything is ok except your objective: "With this goal i can spend more time studying, which means improve of my game(s)" If with the goal you'll spend more time studying and not making the game, wht support you? I guess that was not your intention. But you should clarify studying what. If it's English or game development, that would be good. As it stands in the Patreon objective the first thing I thought was studying for college.
Lastly "which means improve of my game(s)": the correct form should be "the improvement of my game(s)" or "to improve my game(s)"

In the summary: "Now she's living with you and it's up to to decide, how you'll spend this time together." I believe the comma is unnecessary. Also "up to you"
Like this: "Now she's living with you and it's up to you to decide how you'll spend this time together."

Yes, my patreon page is a total mess right now. I'll try to take care of it in the next couple of days, same as fill it with the fun content.
And what about correcting my grammar... Trust me, this is a bad idea, since you would have to do it in my almost every sentence xd. Though I totally understand that this level of English is simply unacceptable no matter what game it is.
I hope, I'll resolve this problem with the time being

Thank you a lot for your feedback

 

[Horny Little Brother]

Give me a day or two and I'll post all the necessary info about tags, what should you expect in this game, my future plans about it and so on

But asnwering your question shortly: I don't even know properly what "shota" means. Do we have a kid with a big dick here? Yes. Do we have a branch with him? We will. Can this game survive without him? Definately.

It doesn't have to be a big cock, I prefer a realistic cock the size it should be.

 

[Bobbbobbin]

I'd like to update my game evety month. How bit those updates will be? Let's say I want to add something completely different with every next update. Not just new renders and a wall of text with my broken English, but new battle system, relationship system, A full support of day and night system with various events there and so on

However for now it's just my wet dreams I promise you here. You will see the real potential of the game (or it's degradation) in the next couple of months)

Thank you for your respond. I definetly will watch this game.
Should i play right now? Are there enough materials in game?

 

[jimbobdon]

a lot of dialogue russian anyway to change it ?

 

[radical686]

I'm confused, is the fourth picture a scene with Hope and the MC, or is that her son?

 

[Thackerweil]

a lot of dialogue russian anyway to change it ?

It's not russian -_-
Don't worry though, you will see nothing of it in the next update. Wait a little please

 

[Thackerweil]

Thank you for your respond. I definetly will watch this game.
Should i play right now? Are there enough materials in game?

Depends on what you expect to see there. You can dowload it, read the disclaimer at the very start of the game and make your decision then

 

[Thackerweil]

I'm confused, is the fourth picture a scene with Hope and the MC, or is that her son?

It's the little brother of MC and he really likes the girl

 

[Deleted member 5563201]

I prefer a realistic cock the size it should be.

2

 

[AnimeHentaiGamer]

awesome ntr! and looks good!

 

[Thackerweil]

Gotta say I love the handmade (?) sprites. They are very unique.

Sprites? Are you about that little human on 2d map? Nah, I just bought the character generator for 10$ and make my models there. Anyway it's much better then RPGmaker's short gnomes

 

[sfoMMA85]

Anyway it's much better then RPGmaker's short gnomes

It is indeed

 

[HikariNova]

looks interesting and i hope it doesn't take to long to get the relationship system working, also might i suggest getting a english speaking helper to help with your english grammar or at least someone to point out untranslated areas? as there are parts that are still in russian XD

 

[KawaiiandOmoshiroi]

Yes, my patreon page is a total mess right now. I'll try to take care of it in the next couple of days, same as fill it with the fun content.
And what about correcting my grammar... Trust me, this is a bad idea, since you would have to do it in my almost every sentence xd. Though I totally understand that this level of English is simply unacceptable no matter what game it is.
I hope, I'll resolve this problem with the time being

Thank you a lot for your feedback

You are welcome. This is the first time I corrected grammar mistakes. I did it for two reasons. First, because it was well written in some parts and bad in others, as if two different people were writing. It was not a hopeless Engrish. Second, from the images (I didn't played it) I thought that this could be a good NTR game if the story or dialogue is good.

I wish you success and I hope you stick to a NTR route even though there are a lot of loud crybabies about it, even if it's optional. As there are loud detractrors, there are also a lot of supporters of NTR, and proof of that are NTR only developers with huge Patreon support like N_taii, Hangover Cat, etc.

 

[Justaregularcat]

Thanks

 

[RoseWulfLea]

It's not a huge deal, it is kinda weird she's wearing glasses to bed. Just a nit pick from one artist to another.

 

[Havarii]

Give me a day or two and I'll post all the necessary info about tags, what should you expect in this game, my future plans about it and so on

But asnwering your question shortly: I don't even know properly what "shota" means. Do we have a kid with a big dick here? Yes. Do we have a branch with him? We will. Can this game survive without him? Definately.

The "shota" tag indicates a young boy featured in sexual scenes, regardless of dick size. That said, if we see his dock in this game it's definitely a "shota" tag.

 

[Thackerweil]

looks interesting and i hope it doesn't take to long to get the relationship system working, also might i suggest getting a english speaking helper to help with your english grammar or at least someone to point out untranslated areas? as there are parts that are still in russian XD

Try to find me someone who will agree to correct all my nonsense xd. But like I said before, don't worry too much about that. I'll try my best to get rid of this problem until the next update. The idea of writing the game in Ukrainian and then translate walls of text into English was not the brightest. From now on, only English will remain, and I'll try to fix it as good as I can.