VN Ren'Py Astreon [Ch.2 v0.2] [NoGlory]

[micojive]

I think the idea behind the story is interesting enough, but for a game that is like 95% exposition and talking, after playing for a few hours I have no idea what the plot of this game is.

This is going to sound mean but it sounds like when you are talking to a young kid who is excitedly telling a story where they jump around all over the place, don't really get a full thought out and when you are finished talking to them you have no idea what they just said.

You are an army dude on a mission then you are 8 years older, but somewhere in there lost your wife who you saw for 4 seconds at the start of the game, then you are on a mission with your old son who you adopted I guess. Where you run into a space ship thing thats crashed and suddenly someone can teleport you away to a new world but everyone else says that the Earth is too far away so why were people there at all. And now you are back after one day in some military conflict...Like Jesus Christ we went through 8 different plots in 2 hours.

Not to mention the first and last "sex" scenes feel hyper out of place. First one with that girls sister just seems like it was thrown in to get a lewd scene in an early update, and the one later with the friend, like jesus they were just in a massive attack and were resting, not the best time for a hand J.

 

[TsubameYui]

THANK YOU, MY DARLING! Still, as people have mentioned here, I can see the plot in my head, and I didn't think these moments were weird at all. But yeah, now I'm starting to realise what's wrong with the plot in general. As always, I'll try to roll out another bug fix in the next couple of days, along with a scene rework.

And instead of explaining everything in the already current scenes, I'll just add other intermediate ones, and it should kinda improve the narrative. Also thanks to the feedback, I kinda realised what's missing from my game. Thanks for the feedback by the way, it really helped me a lot, as well as everyone else who gives their opinions here.

Hey, I noticed a discrepancy with the time dilation talk. Flora tells MC that while he's been on that world for 2 months, 8-9 months have passed on Earth. That's backwards, when she states moments later that Lora has been there for 8 years, while 2 have passed on Earth. If MC has been there for 2 months, only about 2 weeks should have passed back on Earth, as Earth is moving 4 times slower.

 

[NoGloryx]

I think the idea behind the story is interesting enough, but for a game that is like 95% exposition and talking, after playing for a few hours I have no idea what the plot of this game is.

This is going to sound mean but it sounds like when you are talking to a young kid who is excitedly telling a story where they jump around all over the place, don't really get a full thought out and when you are finished talking to them you have no idea what they just said.

You are an army dude on a mission then you are 8 years older, but somewhere in there lost your wife who you saw for 4 seconds at the start of the game, then you are on a mission with your old son who you adopted I guess. Where you run into a space ship thing thats crashed and suddenly someone can teleport you away to a new world but everyone else says that the Earth is too far away so why were people there at all. And now you are back after one day in some military conflict...Like Jesus Christ we went through 8 different plots in 2 hours.

Not to mention the first and last "sex" scenes feel hyper out of place. First one with that girls sister just seems like it was thrown in to get a lewd scene in an early update, and the one later with the friend, like jesus they were just in a massive attack and were resting, not the best time for a hand J.

Thank you for your feedback, and I apologise for not being able to meet expectations. Right now trying to fix all this mess in the start

 

[NoGloryx]

Hey, I noticed a discrepancy with the time dilation talk. Flora tells MC that while he's been on that world for 2 months, 8-9 months have passed on Earth. That's backwards, when she states moments later that Lora has been there for 8 years, while 2 have passed on Earth. If MC has been there for 2 months, only about 2 weeks should have passed back on Earth, as Earth is moving 4 times slower.

Thanks so much, looks like I not only explained the game poorly, but also managed to mess up in the existing text xD

 

[Catherine♡]

The renders, girls looks and animations are top tier!

 

[LinkBox88]

When the you push the dial for text speed all the way and it doesn't become instant, you just can't come to any other conclusion than the dev being a controlling jerk who probably makes his girlfriend dress all demure and shit.

It's the default in Renpy so you would have to go out of your way just to remove the choice from the player.

 

[ivanov95]

Usually not a big fan of a sci-fi, but this one? It hooked me right away and it just got better and better with every minute!

That ending, can't wait for the next update! Kudos to the dev!

P.S. Is this a harem, where the waifu needs to like the girl or not a harem at all?

 

[ImSenjou]

I hope this event is just a prelude to something bigger and not the main plot, the plot seems rushed because it all started the day the MC woke up, it's incredible that he manages to remain calm in this situation.

And about the harem, I hope it doesn't imitate another game(7) that we have here on the forum where the MC goes from territory to territory collecting partners as if they were Pokémon, that game started out interesting, but ended up on my ignore list.

Seeing the Stellaris map made me like the game even more, I even think the dev should show this map in the game previews, I bet it will attract a lot of Stellaris fans.