SilentSevenStar
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- Feb 16, 2019
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- Thread starter Zemax
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duz1nn
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- Jul 28, 2021
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Hm , i had to start from the beginning since the load from last chapter loaded straight into a error and i couldnt progress , im guessing something changed . And no , i never use any mods , theres really no reason to use a mod in a game with "choices"...
Anyway , i honestly lost in the story , i dont know if is just me or others might as well , im not going to pretend im the smarted kid in the room.
So... the beginning they are on earth , and they suddenly went to a spaceship because of reasons could lead to Lora , later on they kinda explain why is impossible to reach earth and vice-versa ? But when they killed the mc son in front of him and he end up also getting shot and almost dying , arent they inside the spaceship in EARTH and THEN Mi and her crew crashed the "party" and saved they ass ? ALSO if they are looking for that spaceship a "artifact" , why would they leave there just to help 2 humans that they barely know ? For what it seems they really know how those artifacts are , yet you dont know that u are inside of one ? Yeah ... like i said , im a bit lost in this haha
Its said that for them on earth only 2 to 3 yeas has passed since Lora dissapeared , but apparentely for Lora has been 8 years already , thats nuts i thought that if thats the case she would really look different , but dam.. she does look completely different , i wouldnt recognize her at all
About the story i dont know , like i said im a bit lost and confused , but the game is very nice .
Specially the girls , i liked every single one of them , well except for Winter , no disrespect or anything , just not my type of girl
Anyway looking forward to see what is coming next , really excited to see they encounter
Good luck with your project , i wish you the best
Anyway , i honestly lost in the story , i dont know if is just me or others might as well , im not going to pretend im the smarted kid in the room.
So... the beginning they are on earth , and they suddenly went to a spaceship because of reasons could lead to Lora , later on they kinda explain why is impossible to reach earth and vice-versa ? But when they killed the mc son in front of him and he end up also getting shot and almost dying , arent they inside the spaceship in EARTH and THEN Mi and her crew crashed the "party" and saved they ass ? ALSO if they are looking for that spaceship a "artifact" , why would they leave there just to help 2 humans that they barely know ? For what it seems they really know how those artifacts are , yet you dont know that u are inside of one ? Yeah ... like i said , im a bit lost in this haha
Its said that for them on earth only 2 to 3 yeas has passed since Lora dissapeared , but apparentely for Lora has been 8 years already , thats nuts
i thought that if thats the case she would really look different , but dam.. she does look completely different , i wouldnt recognize her at all About the story i dont know , like i said im a bit lost and confused , but the game is very nice .
Specially the girls , i liked every single one of them , well except for Winter , no disrespect or anything , just not my type of girl
Anyway looking forward to see what is coming next , really excited to see they encounter
Good luck with your project , i wish you the best
- Apr 29, 2022
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THANK YOU, MY DARLING! Still, as people have mentioned here, I can see the plot in my head, and I didn't think these moments were weird at all. But yeah, now I'm starting to realise what's wrong with the plot in general. As always, I'll try to roll out another bug fix in the next couple of days, along with a scene rework.Hm , i had to start from the beginning since the load from last chapter loaded straight into a error and i couldnt progress , im guessing something changed . And no , i never use any mods , theres really no reason to use a mod in a game with "choices"...
Anyway , i honestly lost in the story , i dont know if is just me or others might as well , im not going to pretend im the smarted kid in the room.
So... the beginning they are on earth , and they suddenly went to a spaceship because of reasons could lead to Lora , later on they kinda explain why is impossible to reach earth and vice-versa ? But when they killed the mc son in front of him and he end up also getting shot and almost dying , arent they inside the spaceship in EARTH and THEN Mi and her crew crashed the "party" and saved they ass ? ALSO if they are looking for that spaceship a "artifact" , why would they leave there just to help 2 humans that they barely know ? For what it seems they really know how those artifacts are , yet you dont know that u are inside of one ? Yeah ... like i said , im a bit lost in this haha
Its said that for them on earth only 2 to 3 yeas has passed since Lora dissapeared , but apparentely for Lora has been 8 years already , thats nuts
About the story i dont know , like i said im a bit lost and confused , but the game is very nice .
Specially the girls , i liked every single one of them , well except for Winter , no disrespect or anything , just not my type of girl
Anyway looking forward to see what is coming next , really excited to see they encounter
Good luck with your project , i wish you the best
And instead of explaining everything in the already current scenes, I'll just add other intermediate ones, and it should kinda improve the narrative. Also thanks to the feedback, I kinda realised what's missing from my game. Thanks for the feedback by the way, it really helped me a lot, as well as everyone else who gives their opinions here.
- Apr 29, 2022
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After finishing the current content of the game I can say:
The game is relatively well polished. A few typos here and there, one mis-gender pronoun during a comment (He vs. She), etc.
Overall I can tell the tone is trying for a slick and fast-paced mystery. However, the characters often feel like they are talking at each other rather than to each other, or even worst, past each other. I can see the style of dialogue that is being aimed for, but it's not quite hitting. It's going style over actual story in a lot of cases.
For example, during several of the exposition sections of dialog, a lot is said, but it's never said to another person. It's just said out loud, and often the other characters will also say something that doesn't always feel coherent to the current discussion. You get the feeling that the dialog is meant to sound cool and have cool lines, rather than sound like people actually discussing a topic together. Each person is basically tweeting/shouting into the void rather than talking to the other characters.
*Edit: Hopefully this doesn't come off as overly harsh. It is not meant to be. I know that when you "know" the story in your head choices, lines spoken, etc. all seem obvious to you because you know the backstory and where you plan to take things.
The game is relatively well polished. A few typos here and there, one mis-gender pronoun during a comment (He vs. She), etc.
Overall I can tell the tone is trying for a slick and fast-paced mystery. However, the characters often feel like they are talking at each other rather than to each other, or even worst, past each other. I can see the style of dialogue that is being aimed for, but it's not quite hitting. It's going style over actual story in a lot of cases.
For example, during several of the exposition sections of dialog, a lot is said, but it's never said to another person. It's just said out loud, and often the other characters will also say something that doesn't always feel coherent to the current discussion. You get the feeling that the dialog is meant to sound cool and have cool lines, rather than sound like people actually discussing a topic together. Each person is basically tweeting/shouting into the void rather than talking to the other characters.
*Edit: Hopefully this doesn't come off as overly harsh. It is not meant to be. I know that when you "know" the story in your head choices, lines spoken, etc. all seem obvious to you because you know the backstory and where you plan to take things.
Is it just me or is the timeline all a bit wonky and the age gap between Olivia and Anya doesn't really make sense?
In one of the the Flashbacks (the one in the car) it states that it happened 14 years ago which would put Olivia at age 18 and Anya at age 5 when you go off the ages present in the Character Profiles.
In another Flashback where Olivia talks to Miriel she starts the story/flashback with "It's not a simple story. It started long before we ever met". In the flashback we then see a Olivia that seems to be the same age or slightly younger as in the first Flashback (18) but a Anya that sure as hell is not 5 years old.
So either you have to make Anya a lot older in your Character Profiles or Olivia younger and change the thing with "14 years ago".
In one of the the Flashbacks (the one in the car) it states that it happened 14 years ago which would put Olivia at age 18 and Anya at age 5 when you go off the ages present in the Character Profiles.
In another Flashback where Olivia talks to Miriel she starts the story/flashback with "It's not a simple story. It started long before we ever met". In the flashback we then see a Olivia that seems to be the same age or slightly younger as in the first Flashback (18) but a Anya that sure as hell is not 5 years old.
So either you have to make Anya a lot older in your Character Profiles or Olivia younger and change the thing with "14 years ago".
This update seems to break saves, I've installed the mod, same one I had last time I believe, so shouldn't be that breaking the saves. It is just a no save game type update?
kibaris
Member
- Mar 17, 2019
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can i ask what happened with the rewritting and why it did happen?
when i compare both there is a lot of scene where it didnt improve for the better or become weirdly formulated than it was (like with Flora before she enter in the strip club or the first discussion with Miriel who lack verb at almost every phrase ("you weird" "my ears. they not bother you" they not make you flinch")
It isnt all that bad obviously (because the way i say it , it could maybe sound like everything is) but overall it wasnt really an improvement (for me who played previous versions at least), which is sad because it had to be a lot of work and i dont doubt it was made with the best intention to make the game better, but it wasnt necessary to rewritte absolutely every line of the game.
when i compare both there is a lot of scene where it didnt improve for the better or become weirdly formulated than it was (like with Flora before she enter in the strip club or the first discussion with Miriel who lack verb at almost every phrase ("you weird" "my ears. they not bother you" they not make you flinch")
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It isnt all that bad obviously (because the way i say it , it could maybe sound like everything is) but overall it wasnt really an improvement (for me who played previous versions at least), which is sad because it had to be a lot of work and i dont doubt it was made with the best intention to make the game better, but it wasnt necessary to rewritte absolutely every line of the game.
- Apr 29, 2022
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Many people wrote that the whole 0.1 was difficult to read, and I came up with the then ingenious idea to reduce the number of words, and make them shorter. As practice showed, this was not exactly what most people wanted. Let's just say I screwed up xD (Like always, nothing new)
On the other hand, I'm still experimenting with one aspect or another. And see what people like, what people don't. Because I got some pretty good comments on 0.2, and I thought it was worth remaking the rest of it, except I didn't realise that the amount of information is a bit different xD
Raziel_8
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- Dec 4, 2017
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Did you also remove a scene ?
I could swear there was something with a redhead, some other goons, which were killed (well the goons at least)...
kibaris
Member
- Mar 17, 2019
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Dont be too harsh on yourself either, making mistake is how we learn to do better later and you are trying your best to improve you'r game, no one would blame you for it.
Even if everything isnt perfect and there is room for improvement in some aspects, you still did a great job with this game.
You're listening to your community about things that could be improved, even though you dont owe much of us anything, without taking badly any critisim, it isnt something that can be said for every dev (even when it's constructive ones)
And thank you for taking the time to answer ^^
yes there was at least 3 littles scene removed from what i noticed
the one you mentionned, one before with the same group of soldier and another short one with the old guy who killed mc's son
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Eonor
Well-Known Member
- Sep 9, 2017
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Updated my compressed Android port of Astreon with Zemax 's multimod to v0.2.
Got some basic gestures loaded in: swipe up for save menu, swipe down to hide UI, swipe left to rollback and swipe right to skip. Save files are now stored in the Documents folder. This sometimes means that you may need to close and re-open the port after installing so the save folder is properly created.
Please let me know if you encounter any issues with the port and I'll see what I can do to get them sorted.
Link:
Got some basic gestures loaded in: swipe up for save menu, swipe down to hide UI, swipe left to rollback and swipe right to skip. Save files are now stored in the Documents folder. This sometimes means that you may need to close and re-open the port after installing so the save folder is properly created.
Please let me know if you encounter any issues with the port and I'll see what I can do to get them sorted.
Link:
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- Apr 29, 2022
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Yeah, I removed them for few reason, first one, I already changed characters looking, and second, it was ruined the immersion
Man this dev needs an editor in the worst kind of way. There's a cool plot and a few interesting concepts hidden underneath all of the one-liners that characters insist on dispensing at every single turn but you almost need a 2nd brain to try and figure it out. It's as if he's deliberately choosing to be abstruse in the storytelling.
There's only so much "Its mettle is paid in blood and steel and the memories of the ancients are wounds in time and remnants of gods long past" you can take before you go "Yeah, sure, don't care. Just tell me where the fuck I am and where my son is." But no. The MC makes precious few attempts to get clarification and the ones he does make, when they're not answered with bizarre metaphors, hyperbole and "you wouldn't understand"s, they're answered with little in the way of clarification of the time, place and circumstance.
When you transport the entire plot halfway across the galaxy (which, to add to the confusion is at some point described as "the other side of the universe" which is a MASSIVE bloody difference) some manner of exposition is absolutely required. We get too little of it though. And what exposition actually clarifies the situation is squirreled away in a codex you can only access after 2 thirds of the playthrough. Again, it's like you're being confusing on purpose.
Take the intro, for instance. MC is recording a message to his parents (it's actually introducing the MC and his main love interest) and then flash forward some unknown amount of time to a merc OP of some description. Note that the MC's parents who seem to be of import to him are never mentioned again. Nice transition, though. Then we flash forward again, 8 years, to learn the MC, who looks about 10-15 years older, has a son who is at least 25. A son who has an 8-10 year old daughter of his own. All the while his wife has been missing for an undisclosed amount of time. This is confusing. Yes, later we find out the son was adopted but an actual date for each of the time-skips could've prevented this. Hell, a single line could've just as well. Well, a line -before- you go to meet up with Olivia, at any rate.
There's also the Starlit Sand thing- the place where the wife vanished, at one time described as a mountain you go to for skiing but it's actually a secret lab where said wife worked at, which is... 700 kms away from where they lived? Granted, maybe she lived there while MC was out playing Private Ryan but then he... never noticed? I'm not even going to comment on how it appears they have a copy of this mythical alien ship's drive in the lab. One that is "tried and tested". Or how they have popcorn on the other side of the galaxy. Or a Razer mousemat.
Dev, you need to find someone to read your scripts that -doesn't- have the full picture, like you do as the author. Question them at different points of the plot to find out whether they were able to discern the information you tried to impart and I'll bet you they know substantially less about the setting, plot and characters than you seem to think they do.
TL;DR- Game is confusing and needs more concise exposition. Or at least, more exposition and less one-liners.
There's only so much "Its mettle is paid in blood and steel and the memories of the ancients are wounds in time and remnants of gods long past" you can take before you go "Yeah, sure, don't care. Just tell me where the fuck I am and where my son is." But no. The MC makes precious few attempts to get clarification and the ones he does make, when they're not answered with bizarre metaphors, hyperbole and "you wouldn't understand"s, they're answered with little in the way of clarification of the time, place and circumstance.
When you transport the entire plot halfway across the galaxy (which, to add to the confusion is at some point described as "the other side of the universe" which is a MASSIVE bloody difference) some manner of exposition is absolutely required. We get too little of it though. And what exposition actually clarifies the situation is squirreled away in a codex you can only access after 2 thirds of the playthrough. Again, it's like you're being confusing on purpose.
Take the intro, for instance. MC is recording a message to his parents (it's actually introducing the MC and his main love interest) and then flash forward some unknown amount of time to a merc OP of some description. Note that the MC's parents who seem to be of import to him are never mentioned again. Nice transition, though. Then we flash forward again, 8 years, to learn the MC, who looks about 10-15 years older, has a son who is at least 25. A son who has an 8-10 year old daughter of his own. All the while his wife has been missing for an undisclosed amount of time. This is confusing. Yes, later we find out the son was adopted but an actual date for each of the time-skips could've prevented this. Hell, a single line could've just as well. Well, a line -before- you go to meet up with Olivia, at any rate.
There's also the Starlit Sand thing- the place where the wife vanished, at one time described as a mountain you go to for skiing but it's actually a secret lab where said wife worked at, which is... 700 kms away from where they lived? Granted, maybe she lived there while MC was out playing Private Ryan but then he... never noticed? I'm not even going to comment on how it appears they have a copy of this mythical alien ship's drive in the lab. One that is "tried and tested". Or how they have popcorn on the other side of the galaxy. Or a Razer mousemat.
Dev, you need to find someone to read your scripts that -doesn't- have the full picture, like you do as the author. Question them at different points of the plot to find out whether they were able to discern the information you tried to impart and I'll bet you they know substantially less about the setting, plot and characters than you seem to think they do.
TL;DR- Game is confusing and needs more concise exposition. Or at least, more exposition and less one-liners.
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TigerWolfe
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- Oct 19, 2022
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The updated version of the scene with the elf eared chick, Mirial (?) is really rough... she's almost speaking in stereotypical caveman speak, and the grammar is whack. The first one was a bit flowery maybe but was at least grammatically sound.
I think the idea behind the story is interesting enough, but for a game that is like 95% exposition and talking, after playing for a few hours I have no idea what the plot of this game is.
This is going to sound mean but it sounds like when you are talking to a young kid who is excitedly telling a story where they jump around all over the place, don't really get a full thought out and when you are finished talking to them you have no idea what they just said.
You are an army dude on a mission then you are 8 years older, but somewhere in there lost your wife who you saw for 4 seconds at the start of the game, then you are on a mission with your old son who you adopted I guess. Where you run into a space ship thing thats crashed and suddenly someone can teleport you away to a new world but everyone else says that the Earth is too far away so why were people there at all. And now you are back after one day in some military conflict...Like Jesus Christ we went through 8 different plots in 2 hours.
Not to mention the first and last "sex" scenes feel hyper out of place. First one with that girls sister just seems like it was thrown in to get a lewd scene in an early update, and the one later with the friend, like jesus they were just in a massive attack and were resting, not the best time for a hand J.
This is going to sound mean but it sounds like when you are talking to a young kid who is excitedly telling a story where they jump around all over the place, don't really get a full thought out and when you are finished talking to them you have no idea what they just said.
You are an army dude on a mission then you are 8 years older, but somewhere in there lost your wife who you saw for 4 seconds at the start of the game, then you are on a mission with your old son who you adopted I guess. Where you run into a space ship thing thats crashed and suddenly someone can teleport you away to a new world but everyone else says that the Earth is too far away so why were people there at all. And now you are back after one day in some military conflict...Like Jesus Christ we went through 8 different plots in 2 hours.
Not to mention the first and last "sex" scenes feel hyper out of place. First one with that girls sister just seems like it was thrown in to get a lewd scene in an early update, and the one later with the friend, like jesus they were just in a massive attack and were resting, not the best time for a hand J.
Hey, I noticed a discrepancy with the time dilation talk. Flora tells MC that while he's been on that world for 2 months, 8-9 months have passed on Earth. That's backwards, when she states moments later that Lora has been there for 8 years, while 2 have passed on Earth. If MC has been there for 2 months, only about 2 weeks should have passed back on Earth, as Earth is moving 4 times slower.THANK YOU, MY DARLING! Still, as people have mentioned here, I can see the plot in my head, and I didn't think these moments were weird at all. But yeah, now I'm starting to realise what's wrong with the plot in general. As always, I'll try to roll out another bug fix in the next couple of days, along with a scene rework.
And instead of explaining everything in the already current scenes, I'll just add other intermediate ones, and it should kinda improve the narrative. Also thanks to the feedback, I kinda realised what's missing from my game. Thanks for the feedback by the way, it really helped me a lot, as well as everyone else who gives their opinions here.
- Apr 29, 2022
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Thank you for your feedback, and I apologise for not being able to meet expectations. Right now trying to fix all this mess in the start