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"Bacon is Proof that God exists and Wants Us to Be Happy."- Baconmin Franklin
The name's Bacon. Roger Bacon. DOCTOR Mirabilis. Agent of Oxford Science Dept. With a Licence for Science.
[I usually dump the damn lettuce and add a bit of mustard and dill pickle. A touch of (sweet) onion works, too. Another of my favorites is a PBBP: Peanut Butter and Bacon with Pickle.]