Well... This is a bit of a headscratcher.
Graphically, I like this a lot. Lots of pretty girls, and the MC doesn't look too bad, either.
Plotwise, it's somewhat incomprehensible. The beginning is shockingly in medias res, with no explanation so far why the MC starts the game getting beaten up by random thugs. I guess I'm curious what that's all about. The first choice is just a game over trap, which is never nice to see. Oh, and Amy's mom worries me. Apparently she's so stressed that she forgets the MC's name, but still ensures him that "this is like your home."
And finally, language. This was first written in Spanish, which I don't understand much of. But in looking through the scripts, I get the distinct feeling, the English translation is actually pretty faithful, which is shocking. Sure, the translation seems to throw the MC's name into random lines for no reason, but on the plus side, it adds periods, which are completely absent from the Spanish script.
My point is, this needs proofreading, but I'm not sure if the problem is the translation or the original.
Looking forward to more, assuming you clean up what's already there.