- Dec 13, 2018
- 7,748
- 19,533
It's also possible that her worry isn't so much about not liking boys (plural), but just the MC.Maya still seems to see herself as a lesbian at heart. At the picnic, she's worried liking boys will turn out to be a delusion; she does not voice a similar worry about girls. This is backed up by her conversation with the MC prior to her sex scene in Episode 5 where she says she can be herself around the MC and still have him understand her:
View attachment 696096
Note the plural, girls. To me, this suggests that Maya has been attracted to other girls in the past, even if Josy was the only one she actually slept with. Whereas Maya had felt no connection to the boys she had dated prior to the MC. Hence she is confident she likes girls in general, and is just not sure whether her attraction to the MC is a flash in the pan, a singular exception, or an indication she really is bi.
Obviously, whatever we choose to classify Maya as, she's someone who cares at least as much about an emotional connection with a potential lover as she does about the chance to have sex. But for now I'm willing to accept that she is more likely to have that connection with girls than with boys.
If she were to be with him and give up Josy but later find that her feelings were in fact a "flash in the pan", then she would have given up a good relationship on one that didn't work out. If she were to give up the MC in favour of Josy because of her fears of those feelings being fleeting, she may come to regret that decision later if she realises that she really does like guys. And if she goes with both but then loses that feeling for the MC, she's probably worried what would happen to them since Josy clearly likes him a lot.
Maya's use of the word "girls" also doesn't necessarily suggest that she's been attracted to other girls besides Josy because the context of that conversation is that the way the MC behaves in terms of how sensitive and attentive he is with her reminds her of how girls behave, which to me suggests an attraction to behavioural and personality qualities more than physical qualities.
Right now her connection with Josy is fairly strong and her connection with the MC is good but she needs to see if it is or can be as strong as the one with Josy. Her emotional connection seems to be what's driving her physical attraction to the MC more than anything, and it's understandable that she's confused because being demisexual is a lesser known orientation and it's why she's not even sure if she's bi because it's a different sort of feeling she's having.