VN Ren'Py Blood Spirals [Ep.2 v0.2.3] [Modern Degenerate]

[MrBenny]

Hey Developer,

This is just a suggestion to help promote your title.... The example genre section I've provided below is from a first time developer who used this format to prevent having to continually spend time answering repeated content questions, that can become very frustrating and demanding to respond to them.

As well using this type of detailed format, it can avoid the potential of toxic / damaging misinformation from being started and brewed in the forms, which can affect potential growth during a title's introduction phase (or as I call it the audition stage to develop interest in gaining new players who want to see more of a project).

Also, using this type of descriptive genre section can become a "one stop location" for any potential fans who are viewing your project for the first time. (It can remove doubt / hesitation during the audition stage of your project).

Spoiler: A good example Genre Section...

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Regards

 

[JennaJJ]

... Thx 4 the share ...

 

[ModernDegenerate]

Hi...I'm wondering about the swing tag (not a fan of sharing love interests with other dudes). And so will the sharing content be an avoidable choice for the player to make in the story?

Regards.

Completely avoidable.

There will never be an option to share one of the two love interests with other men (Although a certain combination of choices will lead Aneta to try to suck a micro-penis, but it is a scene that is designed to reinforce her growing feelings for Kieran) - but both will have threesomes with other women, women that they may have dated/crushed on in their past. These will be avoidable also.

 

[ModernDegenerate]

Thanks for sharing your game with us.
Questions I and others will ask.
I see some tags have NTR/ Sharing/lesbian

1. Will Li or Future Li be having sexual stuff with other guys or other women(Lesbian)? Or is it random non Li doing stuff?
If so, will it be Skippable (meaning it still happens regardless of on-screen or off) or Avoidable (Meaning you can prevent it from happening)
2. What will the future tags be? Major's ones People ask are Lesbian, NTR, Sharing, Female/ Male Dom/ Rape/ Romance/Pregnancy/ Harem/ Cheating
3. How many Li's Will there be, or will there be more than 7?
4. Will we be able to date all of them with a Harem ending, semi-harem/ throuple ending/ Li paths?

1. One instance of a cock being sucked that isn't MC's. It is treated as a joke, and is impossible to see unless you make clear that you are fine with the girl fucking around. I do not consider it NTR because the MC allows for it, and they expressly state they are not in a relationship at the time. There is content between the LIs and other women, but it happens only at the direction of the main character, and so can be avoided.
2. After a helpful post, I have updated the OP to reflect what you will never ever see. Everything in episode one reflects all the sexual stuff in future episodes - there is no other "type" of sex in my scene list - but it can always change when it comes to writing the script.
3. There are only two. This is my first project - I didn't want it to be overly complicated. As a result, there will not be something for everyone. I advise people to treat this as an interactive comic as opposed to a buffet of beauties to pick and choose from. If you're looking for that, come back in 18 months for my next project. You'll be spoiled, and still have an awesome story to immerse yourself in.
4. Throuple is canon. You can only lose it by making repeated mistakes that alienate the girls.

 

[nhnf85]

Nice previews but after checking the Genre section and reading the comments made by the Dev I don't think the game is for me.

 

[Dorfnutter]

Been keeping an eye on this one since I saw the previews on the AVN Lovers subreddit. Time to see if it's worth the hy-

/sees DL size

/sees remaining storage on phone after DL'ing a few AVNs to read

...m-maybe compressed version is the way to go for now.

 

[ModernDegenerate]

Been keeping an eye on this one since I saw the previews on the AVN Lovers subreddit. Time to see if it's worth the hy-

/sees DL size

/sees remaining storage on phone after DL'ing a few AVNs to read

...m-maybe compressed version is the way to go for now.

Dude, I'm kinda nervous. I always enjoy your contributions in the Eternum thread!

*please-don't-hate-it please-don't-hate-it*

I'm joking around. It's perfectly fine to hate it. I tried not to make something generic and cookie cutter so it's going to come with the territory.

Still hope you like it though!

 

[Cajun Fox]

Thanks

Good luck with your game

 

[Dorfnutter]

Dude, I'm kinda nervous. I always enjoy your contributions in the Eternum thread!

*please-don't-hate-it please-don't-hate-it*

I'm joking around. It's perfectly fine to hate it. I tried not to make something generic and cookie cutter so it's going to come with the territory.

Still hope you like it though!

Well initial impressions is that the renders are a bit "eh" but the writing feels quite enjoyable (currently at the part where Kieran is at a burger place with Annie).

Can't really comment much on the music just yet but at least it doesn't feel out of place or anything.

Will probably post a more thorough review when I'm done.

 

[godscoper]

1. One instance of a cock being sucked that isn't MC's. It is treated as a joke, and is impossible to see unless you make clear that you are fine with the girl fucking around. I do not consider it NTR because the MC allows for it, and they expressly state they are not in a relationship at the time. There is content between the LIs and other women, but it happens only at the direction of the main character, and so can be avoided.
2. After a helpful post, I have updated the OP to reflect what you will never ever see. Everything in episode one reflects all the sexual stuff in future episodes - there is no other "type" of sex in my scene list - but it can always change when it comes to writing the script.
3. There are only two. This is my first project - I didn't want it to be overly complicated. As a result, there will not be something for everyone. I advise people to treat this as an interactive comic as opposed to a buffet of beauties to pick and choose from. If you're looking for that, come back in 18 months for my next project. You'll be spoiled, and still have an awesome story to immerse yourself in.
4. Throuple is canon. You can only lose it by making repeated mistakes that alienate the girls.

thank you very much, will bookmark and come back later date.

 

[herrderr75]

Because some cunt is going to go out and change it to Lord Ponsenby and it's going to be fucking ridiculous, and I want them to know that they did that, not me.

If you're just calling it John, you'll be fine.

You bring up a reasonable point about the language though. I may soften it in a later update.

When I name my MC Perv Donkey, I know exactly what I'm doing. Nobody's ever going to blame you for their name choice. However, I do blame you for rejecting my name choice. Why is it that my character's name is Perv Donkey but everybody calls him Kieran or Kee-ran or some shit? He even calls himself Kieran. Talk about ruining immersion.

Also, just a small tip on punctuation--the word "and" does not automatically need to be preceeded by a comma. It's only for select cases.

 

[Saphfire]

That´s a very promising first release, but i´m afraid it takes a year before we see the next update if they keep being that big.

 

[sigvar]

Because some cunt is going to go out and change it to Lord Ponsenby and it's going to be fucking ridiculous, and I want them to know that they did that, not me.

If you're just calling it John, you'll be fine.

You bring up a reasonable point about the language though. I may soften it in a later update.

Eh, so is this why the dialog ignores the name we picked?

 

[ViperGts151]

ModernDegenerate run into this after selecting the stroke her arse and finger her to orgasm option in the bdsm scene.

 

[Bugs Bunny :paranoid]

(Swinging)
Let's go!!

 

[joryh]

Eh, so is this why the dialog ignores the name we picked?
View attachment 4984381

Yarp. I have a name I use for all games and online activity. Since 1994. The only time I don't is if it's already taken. Cause I almost always hate the names devs pull outta their asses. Never mind if it's a name of a family member or someone I know. Last thing I want in a one-handing game is the name of friends and family in my head while doing it. I will never play games that have a name of someone I know.

So pretending to let someone change a name, then pissing in their face and telling them it's raining, that's a deal-breaker for me.

 

[SpyderArachnid]

ModernDegenerate run into this after selecting the stroke her arse and finger her to orgasm option in the bdsm scene.
View attachment 4984491

That's cause the label is actually named "pleasure" and not "pleasured". It's an easy fix to just go in the script and change it. CTRL+F aneta_bdsm_pleasure, and add a d at the end and save it. Then it will proceed properly. I'd recommend though to doing other stuff first to get her bdsm trust points up higher before doing all that. It's better in the end.

 

[SpyderArachnid]

As for the game itself, it's a pretty nice first release. The dialog was a bit... off? At first. Some conversations felt weird, like a bad translation or just off. Can't really put my finger on it, just some felt wrong.

Otherwise, the rest is pretty good. I'd look into changing some of the music though, as you are using several copyrighted songs, and that will get you into some major trouble down the road. Graphics are decent enough for HS, lighting is a bit off and there are several instances of bad clipping, but otherwise it's nice enough.

Spoiler: some other tidbits to not clutter the thread or spoil anything

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Either way, not much else to say. It was pretty good and kept me interested. Curious to see what comes next. Thanks, and best of luck with this.

 

[th3n]

1. One instance of a cock being sucked that isn't MC's. It is treated as a joke, and is impossible to see unless you make clear that you are fine with the girl fucking around. I do not consider it NTR because the MC allows for it, and they expressly state they are not in a relationship at the time. There is content between the LIs and other women, but it happens only at the direction of the main character, and so can be avoided.
2. After a helpful post, I have updated the OP to reflect what you will never ever see. Everything in episode one reflects all the sexual stuff in future episodes - there is no other "type" of sex in my scene list - but it can always change when it comes to writing the script.
3. There are only two. This is my first project - I didn't want it to be overly complicated. As a result, there will not be something for everyone. I advise people to treat this as an interactive comic as opposed to a buffet of beauties to pick and choose from. If you're looking for that, come back in 18 months for my next project. You'll be spoiled, and still have an awesome story to immerse yourself in.
4. Throuple is canon. You can only lose it by making repeated mistakes that alienate the girls.

 

[ModernDegenerate]

Eh, so is this why the dialog ignores the name we picked?
View attachment 4984381

Ah, shit.

I thought I caught everything when I ran through it with a different name. I probably should have done it more than once.

I'll do another pass on Saturday and update the game fixing as much as I can - including the mentioned error with the variable.

Edit: It was actually an easy fix - I was a dumbdumb not thinking to use ctrlf to find all instances of "Kieran" to replace with "[player_name]"

The variable is fixed too and currently building.

ModernDegenerate run into this after selecting the stroke her arse and finger her to orgasm option in the bdsm scene.
View attachment 4984491

Thanks for the report, expect a fix soon.

Well initial impressions is that the renders are a bit "eh" but the writing feels quite enjoyable (currently at the part where Kieran is at a burger place with Annie).

Can't really comment much on the music just yet but at least it doesn't feel out of place or anything.

Will probably post a more thorough review when I'm done.

I wrote a big reply to this - until I realised I was shitting on my own game. But yeah, the renders early on are a bit ropey, and some of the ones in locations with a lot of sunlight have some problems throughout. I'm kind of hoping with the game out, someone with knowledge on how to get sunlight looking good will spoil me with their wisdom.

I'm anti-redos, even during development - just be assured as I do more, it will improve.

As for the game itself, it's a pretty nice first release. The dialog was a bit... off? At first. Some conversations felt weird, like a bad translation or just off. Can't really put my finger on it, just some felt wrong.

I really appreciate the feedback, so thank you. This whole project is about me learning to do this, and feedback is more important to me than anything else.

When it comes to the dialogue, the goal I set for myself was to have natural spoken word, as opposed to literary dialogue. The characters speak like the people around me, dropping joining words, concatenating others. This was a personal choice made because I find the way some characters speak in some VNs to be offputting when they use dictionary English.

It's like the apocraphyl Harrison Ford quote "You can write that shit, George, but you can't say it." In reference to Star Wars's ropey dialogue. Of course, I may have miscalculated, because VNs aren't spoken word - but I wanted to take the risk.

If enough people report being weirded out by it, future episodes could go more traditional.