VN Ren'Py Abandoned Brainless University [v0.1] [Brainless]

3.00 star(s) 1 Vote

gusk

Newbie
Aug 17, 2017
22
11
There's a bit too much Bahasa for the international audience to make sense of. I'm not Indonesian, but I know a few words. Things like kosan, and stuff like that, it should be changed to English if possible, in that case it would be apartment. This will become an even bigger problem as the range of cultures increases in the game, as no one audience will be able to understand all the words.

Also, the game needs a back button. I tend to skim the text and go past things very quickly, but if I go too far I need to go backwards to see it again, but there's no ability to do that here.

In general, the plot seemed very easy. For being a religious girl, getting her in bed was not difficult at all. She's not living with her parents, which is kind of odd in the situation, and there's basically not even any pretext of actually taking pictures once the clothes come off.

Good start.
If you click some words like Zuhr, Kosan or Amr there'll be a pop up message on top of the screen that will explain what that words means. Is that not enough to help people accustomed to our game setting ? The thing is if we're going to reduce that the we'll lose our setting completely and it will be just like any other games.
Also you can scroll up to check any dialogues that you miss before.
For the last paragraph, she's not that religious and that's basically Naya's theme. Players need to not judge her by her outlook, it's kinda the reverse thing though with the normally being "Just because some people looks bad doesn't mean they're criminal" with Naya it's "Just because she looks religious, doesn't mean that she's a saint". From what I've learn, living alone while in college isn't an uncommon thing, there's even a terms for that people = Perantau.

I tried the game and what I can say is that coming from "a third world country" myself I can perfectly understand the local terms perfectly. But i doubt that people from Europe or US can understand the concept of and what is kosan. Some localization would be better.

Just out of curiosity is Naya going to be the only heroine in the game?

also it may sound a bit harsh but are you sure with the visual design and artstyle of the characters? speaking from personal experience, almost 90% of the visual novels (nukige) that I choose to play are influenced by the artstyle....

Keep it up
Hey, I just answer you first paragraph above.
No, Naya isn't going to be the only one. We're planning on each updates there would be a clear story up until you clear the task given to you and different girl that needs your help.
Yes, I know it's not the best. But we're planning on improving it when we reach 300$ goal, either ViChan will give more efforts to improve the art style or we'll ask different artist to improve it for us.

Some Genre Never to be too much Saturated.
-->Superheroes Genre , Spiderman , Batman , Superman , X-man , all is about Superheroes against Monster
-->One Piece , Naruto , Dragon Balls , all about teens adventure, having friends , character growth & always meet more powerful opponent
-->Walking Dead , Dawn Of The Dead , Zombieland , Shaun Of The Dead, Resident Evil , all about the same zombies apocalypse.

Fanboys always want their same genre , Incest & Harem
Dream of Desires is not the same crap as Big Brother , My New Life is not the same crap to Milf City , The Twist is not the same crap to summertime saga.
You can still be creative without trying to avoid Incest genre
Hey, I love your comments by the way and to answer that I'll share some future contents here.
- I already answer your first point above
- You can see from my answer before this that the thing is we have limited resources, we can't have lesser text in the game because we simply don't have enough assets / game mechanic to accommodate that. This is also why it seems like I tried too hard in giving some information to the players, because without that we don't have any way to show the players what kind of game we're going to develop.
- There'll be some more taboo contents like that in the future, stuff like helping / exploiting a canteen worker to paid of her debt in exchange of having fun with her or helping people work in a traditional market which open a way to get close with some MILFs inside the game or even taking a bet with journalism professor if you can write an articles for big name newspaper she would do anything with you. The thing is give us a chance so we can deliver more contents to the players.
- I agree that some genres never to be too much saturated and in our case Summertime Saga is the closer one in terms of game play when we've enough supports to build that, with the difference being its setting would be more mature and some stuff would be a bit darker like dealing with an addict, a failing students or just like you said, exploiting poverty.

Anyway, thank you so much for the constructive criticism.
 
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Zirnitra

Newbie
Jun 18, 2017
29
14
If you click some words like Zuhr, Kosan or Amr there'll be a pop up message on top of the screen that will explain what that words means. Is that not enough to help people accustomed to our game setting ? The thing is if we're going to reduce that the we'll lose our setting completely and it will be just like any other games.
Also you can scroll up to check any dialogues that you miss before.
Alright. I'm not sure if I missed the thing that was meant to tell me about those functions, but they seem to have solved the problem well enough.

I tried to look that work up and couldn't find anything. I guess that answers that. In any case, yeah, I can see the aspect about her choosing sensuality as a theme because she isn't actually all that religious. It's just that that being the theme is not immediately obvious to the casual viewer, since near the start she is described as a religious girl.
 

hyco2

Member
Sep 15, 2017
147
289
My 2 cents to the Too muslim, too much local, make it more like... debate:

Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

Please let's have some games, where braindead is only the name of the studio, not the prequisite to play them.

And out...

edit: oops, it was brainless... Still, I stand to it!
 

Retro

Retired
Former Staff
Sep 7, 2017
3,216
18,611
-->I know you are making visual novel but please reduce the text , and learn more from Game like Big Brother , Summertime Saga , or Dreams of Desire , Love and Submission , Dual Family , Ethan legacy.
I'm not a Fan to Japanese Eroge, too much reading Text. Have you play Telltale Walking Dead ?

-->You are making porn VN Games , Not Slice Of Life Visual Light Novel , too much male characters & few female characters.
If You Want to make porn VN / Games / Manga / Novel , or whatever , the formula to success always Taboo / Fetish (Incest , Harem , Slavery , Rape , Lolicon & Shotacon , MILF , Inter Racial , Netorare) & Ridiculous Fantasy (Monster , Hypnosis , Drugs , Robot , Alien , zombies Apocalypse , Time Machine , etc)

do not listen to this guy, make the game and story you want to make
 
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Dilettante

Well-Known Member
Jun 6, 2017
1,231
1,512
There'll be some more taboo contents like that in the future, stuff like helping / exploiting a canteen worker to paid of her debt in exchange of having fun with her or helping people work in a traditional market which open a way to get close with some MILFs inside the game or even taking a bet with journalism professor if you can write an articles for big name newspaper she would do anything with you. The thing is give us a chance so we can deliver more contents to the players.
- I agree that some genres never to be too much saturated and in our case Summertime Saga is the closer one in terms of game play when we've enough supports to build that, with the difference being its setting would be more mature and some stuff would be a bit darker like dealing with an addict, a failing students or just like you said, exploiting poverty.
Good job so far. I love all these future taboo themes you described (especially milfs). Muslim girls is already HUGE potential, as i don't think i ever seen it before on patreon, or any other adult gaming platform. Never seen novel taking place in Indonesia either, and i think adding some local terms with explanations is a nice touch. Artstyle is a little rough when it comes to some body details, but still good and unique looking. Fan of Naya's plump body. Story is pretty interesting, but i do agree with others on some points. Nonetheless, it breaks the circle of the same beaten to death genres. Quite liked the demo overall, would definitely follow this.
 

Daxter250

Forum Fanatic
Sep 17, 2017
4,670
12,716
High school and university are 2 very different things.
doesn't matter at the end ^^.
a highschool degree won't give ya a job you wouldn't get anyway.
with a university degree you won't get a job either, 'cause your salary will be to high for the firms to pay.
 

gusk

Newbie
Aug 17, 2017
22
11
Alright. I'm not sure if I missed the thing that was meant to tell me about those functions, but they seem to have solved the problem well enough.

I tried to look that work up and couldn't find anything. I guess that answers that. In any case, yeah, I can see the aspect about her choosing sensuality as a theme because she isn't actually all that religious. It's just that that being the theme is not immediately obvious to the casual viewer, since near the start she is described as a religious girl.
The clickable words are written in Italics, I tried to change the color so it would be more obvious but it just ended up with errors so I leave it that way. Sorry if that's not clear enough.

do not listen to this guy, make the game and story you want to make
Haha yeah thanks, dude. Still appreciate those kind of comments though, I just hope that our game didn't always get compared with some already big games. I mean we're just launching it and we don't have enough support yet to start improving it lol

Good job so far. I love all these future taboo themes you described (especially milfs). Muslim girls is already HUGE potential, as i don't think i ever seen it before on patreon, or any other adult gaming platform. Never seen novel taking place in Indonesia either, and i think adding some local terms with explanations is a nice touch. Artstyle is a little rough when it comes to some body details, but still good and unique looking. Fan of Naya's plump body. Story is pretty interesting, but i do agree with others on some points. Nonetheless, it breaks the circle of the same beaten to death genres. Quite liked the demo overall, would definitely follow this.
Hey thanks for the kind words, we're definitely will improve our artstyle when we reach our goals. We do realize that it's not good enough and we're making it our first priority to improve the game quality.
 
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Warwhale

Newbie
Dec 27, 2017
77
84
The artwork is quite good and the style that it is in is something that I appreciate. My personal favorite is the effort you have done to provide translations for certain Indonesian terms you have used. Furthermore, the idea of setting the game in an environment many here are not all that familiar with is especially innovative. I think that this game has a lot of potential.
 

Oiz

I am not Bloo, cause Bloo is a cunt
Modder
Donor
Aug 5, 2016
1,078
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Sorry I miss on your post before, as you said it does looks better but I'm not sure if I can change the description post above as I'm not the one posting the thread.
Uploaders can do it. I didn't just want to change it without your approval though, since it is ultimately your call... You know, since you're the dev of this game :pokerFace:
 

gusk

Newbie
Aug 17, 2017
22
11
The artwork is quite good and the style that it is in is something that I appreciate. My personal favorite is the effort you have done to provide translations for certain Indonesian terms you have used. Furthermore, the idea of setting the game in an environment many here are not all that familiar with is especially innovative. I think that this game has a lot of potential.
Hey thank you so much, dude ! Hopefully I can keep improving this game to live up to your expectation.

Uploaders can do it. I didn't just want to change it without your approval though, since it is ultimately your call... You know, since you're the dev of this game :pokerFace:
No no I don't mind at all since I know it's not perfect and yours are better than mine, thank you so much by the way for correcting it !

Also I don't know if it's rude to ask it here, but does anyone have any recommendation sites or forum to advertise this game ? It would be nice if I can reach more people to ask to support this project, thanks.
 

xןʞ

I trolled so N7 could soar.
Staff member
Moderator
Donor
Jul 19, 2017
3,052
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Basically here and Reddit's Lewd Games subreddit(which...yeah probably won't be the best idea for you being a Muslim based game on Reddit)are pretty much...it

Get a twitter or tumblr to showcase your art and stuff
 

Warwhale

Newbie
Dec 27, 2017
77
84
My 2 cents to the Too muslim, too much local, make it more like... debate:

Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

Please let's have some games, where braindead is only the name of the studio, not the prequisite to play them.

And out...

edit: oops, it was brainless... Still, I stand to it!
The first point is the only which actually needs to be properly addressed, individual preferences are well within your prerogative to act upon and thus need not be challenged as a matter. However, the makers of this game have every right to chose to create game of their own liking. The dynamics of the game are still being established as of now. Therefore it is reasonable to give the creators a good deal of leeway in further expanding on the character of their work.
 

hyco2

Member
Sep 15, 2017
147
289
The first point is the only which actually needs to be properly addressed, individual preferences are well within your prerogative to act upon and thus need not be challenged as a matter. However, the makers of this game have every right to chose to create game of their own liking. The dynamics of the game are still being established as of now. Therefore it is reasonable to give the creators a good deal of leeway in further expanding on the character of their work.
I am sorry I did not understand you. Are you saying, I am restricting the maker by my "No" to the voices that want them to take away what - in my view - makes the game unique? Of course they have every right to do what ever they want. I just wanted them to know, that there is not a consensus on the stupify-side.
 

Dilettante

Well-Known Member
Jun 6, 2017
1,231
1,512
Also I don't know if it's rude to ask it here, but does anyone have any recommendation sites or forum to advertise this game ? It would be nice if I can reach more people to ask to support this project, thanks.
There are quite a few adult game forums. Like , , Many other also, you can google for more. These three are very much active, and i hope you will find support.
 

gusk

Newbie
Aug 17, 2017
22
11
Basically here and Reddit's Lewd Games subreddit(which...yeah probably won't be the best idea for you being a Muslim based game on Reddit)are pretty much...it

Get a twitter or tumblr to showcase your art and stuff
I tried advertising it in reddit but yeah not much progress over there and unfortunately I'm not quite familiar with tumblr or twitter so it might take a while.

There are quite a few adult game forums. Like , , Many other also, you can google for more. These three are very much active, and i hope you will find support.
Hey thank you so much ! I'll try to advertise it over there.
 
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docclox

Active Member
Game Developer
Aug 20, 2016
563
569
So ... why are there four guys and one girl on the splash pic? Are we missing a "gay" tag?
 

gusk

Newbie
Aug 17, 2017
22
11
So ... why are there four guys and one girl on the splash pic? Are we missing a "gay" tag?
Because I think there's too much porn games with "One Guy Fuck 'Em All" story line, so I think let's make it different by creating a main character that need help from other people before he can fuck any girl he likes. But why using a male friends ? Isn't it better to create a fuckable female friends that also help you to fuck other girls ? So our main character can learn something from them just as stated in our story premise. So we can have "rivalry" between them without it having to be NTR e.g. if you can't complete the task given to you and the other NPCs does it, therefore they're the one who's going to have sex scene with said girl (doing this also makes it seems a bit more realistic as not everyone in real life can loves every fetish they can find). And also, this might be not for everyone, to give some sort of solidarity between them as the story progress. TL;DR : just wanted to be a bit different lol
 
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docclox

Active Member
Game Developer
Aug 20, 2016
563
569
It's just that the first couple of times I saw this come up, I assumed it was an otome game based purely on the graphic. Then I read "male protagonist" and assumed "gay".

I can applaud you trying to do things differently; I'm just not sure the picture sends the message you think it sends, if you see what I mean.
 
3.00 star(s) 1 Vote