VN Ren'Py Broken Hearts Still Want to Love [Ch.2] [Bogatyr SV]

[EyeWish1]

Okay, then I need specifics. At least a few examples of what is wrong and how it should be instead. So that I can understand the problem a little better. Because in the game there are definitely not mistakes in every sentence.
Are the problems with English in Chapter 1, 2, or both? In Chapter 2, has the translation improved compared to Chapter 1 or not?
If I understand correctly, not everyone has reached Chapter 2, but still...
P.S. Thank you in advance to you and everyone else who will answer and help in any way on the topic of this comment.

Okay, I quickly scanned through some screens.. Here are a few examples. I'm Not a professional writer, but these little tweaks would make it flow better for an English audience.

"Hello, Dear, Didn't I wake you?" should be - "Hello Dear, did I wake you ?"

"Hi, I was still sleeping, but nothing, everything is fine." Should read more like this - "Hi, I was sleeping, but it's okay, everything is fine here"

"But before that, I found out that the Country where he was going had a sea." - This is awkward and should look more like - "I found out that where he went has a beautiful beach." (assuming this is what you meant)

"We've been here for almost a week now, and I've only been to the sea once, and that was by myself."
S/b "We have been here for almost a week now, and I have only been to the beach once, and that was by myself."

"Knowing Franks workaholism, I'm not surprised. Especially since this is not the first time." S/b - "Knowing Franks a workaholic, I'm not surprised. You know, he may never change." or "Old habits are hard to break"

This goes on and on.. Hope this helps.

 

[LWtbo]

personaly I prefer less formal like:
"we've been here for almost a week, and sofar I've only been to the beach once , and that was on my own."
But thats just a personal prefrence.

 

[orto23]

Game has a great start, some English fixes are needed. I almost never support on Patreon, if you get 'Itch' or 'Buy me a Coffee' I would consider supporting on a future update.

 

[Bogatyr SV]

Okay, I quickly scanned through some screens.. Here are a few examples. I'm Not a professional writer, but these little tweaks would make it flow better for an English audience.

"Hello, Dear, Didn't I wake you?" should be - "Hello Dear, did I wake you ?"

"Hi, I was still sleeping, but nothing, everything is fine." Should read more like this - "Hi, I was sleeping, but it's okay, everything is fine here"

"But before that, I found out that the Country where he was going had a sea." - This is awkward and should look more like - "I found out that where he went has a beautiful beach." (assuming this is what you meant)

"We've been here for almost a week now, and I've only been to the sea once, and that was by myself."
S/b "We have been here for almost a week now, and I have only been to the beach once, and that was by myself."

"Knowing Franks workaholism, I'm not surprised. Especially since this is not the first time." S/b - "Knowing Franks a workaholic, I'm not surprised. You know, he may never change." or "Old habits are hard to break"

This goes on and on.. Hope this helps.

Thanks and apparently, this mission is impossible for me. Why? I'll give you a very simple example, using just one word. I wrote "sea", the translator translated it "ocean", and you want "beach". Although I know the difference between all 3 of these words and I want the text to say "sea" and not something else. This seems to be one of the biggest problems. And this is the simplest thing that came to my mind.
Translation is the worst part of development for me. And I spend a lot of time on it, at least starting with Chapter 2. I will review Chapter 1 again in detail and possibly partially rewrite it. I just took the first sentence that caught my eye and even I noticed a mistake there. The translators are working badly. Sometimes even very badly and unable to translate quite simple words and sentences correctly. As a result, I also have to check and edit what they translate myself. And my knowledge of English, in my opinion, is very low.
I have already written the Chapter 2 in a much simpler way. Without making very long and complicated sentences where possible. And even so, I still often do not have absolute confidence that the translation is correct. That's why I need to understand whether the translation in Chapter 2 has improved compared to Chapter 1 as a whole.

 

[Bogatyr SV]

Game has a great start, some English fixes are needed. I almost never support on Patreon, if you get 'Itch' or 'Buy me a Coffee' I would consider supporting on a future update.

Itch is not a platform I understand yet. But I spent only a few minutes familiarizing myself with it. I went to a couple of developers I saw on F95 who use it, and they all only list Patreon as a place to support them. Buy me a Coffee doesn't work in my country, at least for new users.

 

[EyeWish1]

Thanks and apparently, this mission is impossible for me. Why? I'll give you a very simple example, using just one word. I wrote "sea", the translator translated it "ocean", and you want "beach". Although I know the difference between all 3 of these words and I want the text to say "sea" and not something else. This seems to be one of the biggest problems. And this is the simplest thing that came to my mind.
Translation is the worst part of development for me. And I spend a lot of time on it, at least starting with Chapter 2. I will review Chapter 1 again in detail and possibly partially rewrite it. I just took the first sentence that caught my eye and even I noticed a mistake there. The translators are working badly. Sometimes even very badly and unable to translate quite simple words and sentences correctly. As a result, I also have to check and edit what they translate myself. And my knowledge of English, in my opinion, is very low.
I have already written the Chapter 2 in a much simpler way. Without making very long and complicated sentences where possible. And even so, I still often do not have absolute confidence that the translation is correct. That's why I need to understand whether the translation in Chapter 2 has improved compared to Chapter 1 as a whole.

I feel your pain Bogatyr SV. My only suggestion would be to get an assistant to correct the translation. Especially if you intend to make $ from the game. I assume the English speaking market would be quite large and your most profitable region, so it may be something to pursue going forward. I might be willing to assist if I had more details on the process.