VN - Ren'Py - Broken Promises [v0.38] [Light Cavalry]

This is for version 0.1:
After a long wait we get the first release of the game, it's not that short in that regard, the renders look good, I see that the dev likes blonde girls which is a plus for me. The story is not a happy one, each girl has its own backpack, and it is shown during this first chapter, even the MC. I've liked it so far, and I have also chosen which girls are my favorites, let's hope the next update shows us a bit more interaction between them. There are hardly any choices, and the most important one is with the teacher at the school and you get a small scene.
Now some concerns that I have are, the teacher, who basically throws herself at you, maybe some more foreplay could have been done there to build up the scene. And, finally, the elephant in the room, the reason why I think this VN is getting a low rating, is the part of Grace and her past. Knowing what happened with her may be a big turnoff and all the signs might point towards to NTR, but I will trust the dev on this one as he said that nothing of that will be in the game. So I am looking forward to the rest of the story, let's hope the dev doesn't take that long.

Normally I don't review a VN/game until its had several updates, or it's simply so awful that I have no intention of every going near its radioactive husk again. However, there is a lot of negative reaction to a specific scene in this introduction that I feel unjustifiably is pulling down the overall rating of thisVN.

So I offer this early reaction. I will revise this review after the VN has time to mature.

Massive amount of content for a first release. Excellent renders. Generally attractive women. MC is kind of interesting. All in all an impressive initial offering, so don't let the nay sayers discourage you from at least taking a look. There's a lot of potential here. Isn't that all we can really ask from an introduction?

Interesting storylines of characters here. Im actually more involved in stories of Kylie and Afina then MC x) Not that much, but good work.
Qualitty renders. Also kinda good work with models, but they are still kinda "stereo" imho
Already love this one, one of my favs actually. I dont know why, but this game has sunk into my soul.
will be w8ing for the next updates.
giving 5.0 in advice, but actually rn its more looks like 3.5-4.0

Well, it's pretty early to give a review, but i already decided my opinion and view on this game and i don't think it will ever change so here it is.

-The renders are probably the biggest plus of the game, the characters look great but a little unnatural i would say because pretty much all of them have gigantic and enormous tits.
Also talking about renders and characters, the MC's model is exactly the same as the MC's model from Chasing Sunset, i don't know if it's just a model that every dev can use freely but i saw him firstly and first to Chasing Sunset and it's weird seeing the same model twice since i never saw this model before in other games, there are many games that use the same models as other games use but you could have at least change him a little, giving him a different haircut and some facial hair so he could look more different, it's just the exact same.

-The dialogue/writing is at least mediocre at best, there are scenes where you try to smooth things up like adding a joke but even those jokes are pretty terrific and it makes the writing even more bad than already is.
Not going to talk about this inner thoughts the characters have, personally for me this is immersion breaking, knowing what others think and feel without talking is very bullshitting, i don't understand the necessity of this and i don't see why would this be considered a great asset for writing, it's ruining the game in my opinion.
-The characters feel empty even though you try so hard to give them a personality, it just doesn't add up probably because of the writing.

Overall the game is not really good or bad either, maybe if there will be improvements in the future, i'll change the rating but i kind of doubt it, also as i side note, that intro is unnecessarily long and useless.

Updated review from 0.1.2 to rework CH.1 : +1 star

Having played the work I must say it is infinitely better than 0.1.2, though its still not without it's faults.

The visuals are incredible, this VN has image quality that is similar to the most high quality VNs on this site

the dialogue is much much better. No unnnecessary character thoughts, or jumpin gbetween perspectives and languages. Though it still feels awkward and unnatural some of the time making hard to follow or care about what's being said. Ex. (Sancho calling mc "kid" every second sentence"

The girls are pretty, though they are the self entitled looking for sympathy type which I find very unnappealing. Now this could be because where the mc is undercover or it maybe bias from playing the previous version. But in the previous versions all the girls has heaps of baggage waiting for the mc to fix them, making him a rebound at best. So fingers crossed for some major character development/variety of Li's

The Rework is much much shorter than 0.1.2, and much more effective. It's much easier to follow and care about the story. Though I was not a fan of the transition from regular life to a mission with Sancho, but I am glad the mom was not introduced yet.

I find the MC a bit strange, I get voicing how everyone left you to yourself, but the way he basically tells every character that he was abandoned doesn't sit right with me. Also, I'm not sure why he's that important and it doesn't really feel like he's undercover. But it's still early and I feel like he'll develop as we go along

I'm interested to see how the girls backstories change from 0.1.2. I found none of them even remotely appealing last time and I hope it changes going forward.

overall, the rework is much better than 0.1.2 and the dev has saved his game from the brink of death. I feel like it's unfair to leave my 2 star review up. I don't feel comfortable changing it to a 4 star at this point and as far as I can tell There's no way to fully delete a review so I'll change it to a 3 for now.

Also, massive respect to the dev for being able to take constructive critiscm. It can't be easy having to completely scrap adn rework something you worked on for countless hours just to deliver a better product. Best of luck.

Not your cliche soft and sweet games where every girl is dying for MC's cock but a deep and sort of sad game where every one is broken and fighting with her/his demons of the past. Quite Intriguing story to play . Sort of give SG vibes . Looking forward to the future updates

Good renders and nice girls. Backstory when they were kids is sweet. Present story is interesting and makes you looking foward to it but it's poorly executed.
The dialogues... are bad. We always know what they both are thinking when it's obvious and it gets boring quick. The Ryan entrance in the class room alone... I never read anything so bad. what the hell was that?
What about the "conversation" after lunch when the sister arrives? Cringe doesn't even start to describe it and the non-english dialogue?! Disrespectful to say the least. I would have paid my part and left.
The teacher going full retard on the first day is silly even for porn games standards.
Let me clear here, I really enjoyed the Demo. This chapter? Not really, no.
But what really don't like is the lack of choices. I sincerely hope that changes.
One thing good: it's a long chapter.

Missing Blackmail tag that if it was present I wouldn't have touched it. So on top of all a waste of my time.

1 star because I can't give 0.



Thank you and good luck.

P.S. Before it gets reported/removed as usual, version is 0.1...

P.S.2. Game was revamped and it's way better. I'll try to find time to edit this review.

The story is quite dark and sad as pretty much all the girls in the game are going through some trauma . Not a single girl other than Alice is having somewhat a normal life

Liked: The game surely has some pretty renders , and some beautiful females too. The emotions they are going through are quite nicely shown and so is the kid MC and Vanessa playing.

Disliked : To be honest other than Alice ,Kylie or Tianna or hell even Afina I personally don't think I would wanna go for any other LI as what left are either a dug dealer or a blonde whore who enjoyed fkin a married man and has a kid now or a drug addicted model who is pretty much a lesbian ora horny teacher . I mean how are u even supposed to like such people.
Hell Vanessa is a fkin druggie dealer too who maybe in future MC might have to arrest.

Not many choices till now , plz do work on that or add Kinetic tag to it

Eager to see how the story unfolds.

Well what can i say. for 0.1 it's pretty good. Really like the renders.
Background music is creating quit good atmosphere for playing.
Story is quit decent and good, but there is so much to uncover and it's look like some complex-maze story and i have a feeling this will be in slow burn game list

For short i like it.

Good luck!

Decent start but needs a whole lot more planned tags, hopefully this will lead to something great where the mc gets involved in all sorts of wonderful crazy sexual antics. Beautiful renders and decent story so far, the only critique is no real taboo sexual fetish.

What did i just play...

Although the renders arnt great they're not terrible although the artist either gives 0 fucks about his art or its just pure negligence but 98% of the renders have severe clipping not just an innocent little bit of skin in the office scene her whole boob was clipping through her shirt and half the car tyres are in the floor its like seriously how are you happy putting this in your game especially your 0.1 which is meant to convince people your product is good.

Also they have just straight up robbed the MC from chasing sunsets must of seen their amazing game and success and decided yeah lts rob that i feel so sorry for the Stone fox devs having there MC stolen and put in this game oof

The writing is just horrendous like it was written in an elementary creative writing class by a 5 year old who just watched twilight, the intro with Leon and Motorcycle dude and some weird rando girl who clips into her own body. Has got to be one of the most cringe intros to a game ever where the devs self insert in some cringe 4th wall break, trying to be funny roleplaying off of each other it was dumb af and lasted forever.

The scene in the office where the MC does textbook Workplace Sexual harassment on his boss is creepy and odd, and that every girl just drips at the sight of him is odd to and the fact the MC has obviously got brain damage over his years as a police officer that when he meets the chick by the locker saying it just reveals the right amount of skin when she is dressed like a nun fully clothed from neck to knee its like was the MC brought up in a convent.

The art isnt bad just full of negligent mistakes that should of been fixed but the writing and cringe is unforgivable

Though the renders are good, the writing is probably the worst I have ever seen.
Almost 70% of the game is internal thoughts (from every character, so there are no secrets) and most of those thoughts are gross descriptions of each other, not erotic, just gross. It's also very self-aware because it goes "don't be a pervert/creep" after saying something that was clearly gross.

I know it's 0.1 but there are almost no options only two and worth FUCK ALL, I refuse the teacher's advances, and then she still kisses and grabs my balls later on, so what's the point?

It's just boring as fuck, and it's not even erotic, just sick, how every character is instantly aroused by MC, how they describe to each other, it's like it was written by a kid with no experience or a very old, bitter incel type guy.

"it’s up to you to use your resources, make the hard choices, all while trying your best to keep your promises."

2 Choices in this whole .1 which has more text than an encyclopedia collection.

Plus 30 mins of cringe intro and outro where the 2 devs are roleplaying, as Leon Kennedy... for some reason, and some motorcycle dude whos trying to be cool bit the person behind it obviously has no self esteem, cringe and dragged out.

Wish the devs well but they need to change this format remove the cringe like this is a novel for children and actually either have no choices or a decent amount instead of this small amount of irrelvent choices that currently exist