That was a weird update..... feels like they changed writers midstream. (sidenote, to all those complaining about the jew reference, did you even play the first game? Silver was an obvious connection. Yeah it sounded archaic, but that's how id expect John to talk.)
Usually babysitters/babysitter 1, while not winning Pulitzer prizes, has perfectly passable and beyond that enjoyable dialogue for AVNs.
Looking back at the script now, it seems like a noticable change happened somewhere mid ch 9, where lengthy exposes or narrations became the norm. It's one thing to describe what's going on for sake of the reader understanding, it's another to have snoozefest sentences on the 'dangers of Angelica falling into [a pool of water]'.
On the plus side, renders were particularly gorgeous this update. Feels like the game has been 'Oceanized', prettier pictures with lots of unneccesary dialogue and little sex..
hell, he even made Tony look better this update:
of course the heavy inclusion of Jess risks players realizing all other characters are fugly ducklings compared to the best of Godin:
