- Mar 9, 2020
- 1,226
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Olivia was in the running to be a main girl but lost in the poll about choosing the last main LI. I forget the details but at best, she's a side girl.
Ren'Py Campus Bonds [v0.3.1] [MCVisualNovels]
- Thread starter MCVisualNovels
- Start date
Yes, the hangout from the first episode gets cancelled no matter what. And from the second episode as well.
- Feb 22, 2023
- 245
- 63
You can't turn any LI into an affinity, if you meant that your affinity has any effect on how their relationship will play out, yeah, it will.
If Francesca is on introvert path only, I swear I am going to be so mad lol. I was pursuing her path with rejecting other girls and I didn't know.
Yeah, Francesca is on introvert path only.
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- Feb 22, 2023
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what i mean is that at the bar 1st scene with sadie i felt her up didn't go any further but her variable changed her to introvert. check attached screenshot.
- Mar 9, 2020
- 1,226
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Scarlett's definitely in some much needed fix.
- Oct 17, 2022
- 826
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Lighting her joint perhaps?And here I thought I would show Tracy the path to the light.
- Dec 5, 2024
- 21
- 25
Excellent update. Keep up the great work.
One of the best current VNs.
I like that the MC can be a womanizer player on the extroverted route.
Haven't tried the introverted path yet.
Getting to know the LIs and SGs was fun.
The bros have more personality and I can distinguish them now.
Good stuff.
One of the best current VNs.
I like that the MC can be a womanizer player on the extroverted route.
Haven't tried the introverted path yet.
Getting to know the LIs and SGs was fun.
The bros have more personality and I can distinguish them now.
Good stuff.
- May 7, 2020
- 95
- 785
Hello fella,
First, I want to acknowledge the effort and dedication required to create a visual novel. It’s complex work that demands creativity and persistence, so congratulations on moving forward with your project. However, as a fan of this narrative style, I’d like to share some observations that could help refine your work and give it more depth.
1. Character Overload vs. Narrative Depth
One of the most noticeable aspects is the constant introduction of new characters without a clear purpose. While a large cast can enrich the story’s world, when these characters don’t contribute to the plot or the protagonist’s growth, they end up diluting the focus. Instead of adding more secondary or tertiary figures, you could concentrate on developing the existing ones—giving them emotional arcs, clear motivations, or conflicts that tie into the main story.
2. A Protagonist Lacking Depth
The main character is the core of any story, but in this case, they seem to lack a defined arc or memorable traits. If players/readers can’t connect with them, it’ll be hard to care about their journey. I’d suggest working on:
The love interest (especially if they’re the "face" of the novel) should have narrative weight that matches their visual prominence. If their presence is reduced to occasional scenes with no relevance to the plot, players will feel their inclusion is artificial. You could improve this by:
An overuse of intimate scenes with minor characters can make it seem like they’re just a cheap way to grab attention rather than adding to the story. If your goal is for the project to be remembered for its narrative quality—not just adult content—I’d recommend:
Right now, the story feels like it’s moving without a clear direction, which can confuse or disengage the audience. To avoid this, you could:
Your project has potential but needs more cohesion. Focus on strengthening the structure, deepening the protagonist, and ensuring every element (characters, romances, scenes) contributes to the whole. Studying works like Pink Cake’s isn’t a bad idea, but what matters is finding your own voice and style.
Wishing you success with your visual novel—I hope to see how it evolves!
First, I want to acknowledge the effort and dedication required to create a visual novel. It’s complex work that demands creativity and persistence, so congratulations on moving forward with your project. However, as a fan of this narrative style, I’d like to share some observations that could help refine your work and give it more depth.
1. Character Overload vs. Narrative Depth
One of the most noticeable aspects is the constant introduction of new characters without a clear purpose. While a large cast can enrich the story’s world, when these characters don’t contribute to the plot or the protagonist’s growth, they end up diluting the focus. Instead of adding more secondary or tertiary figures, you could concentrate on developing the existing ones—giving them emotional arcs, clear motivations, or conflicts that tie into the main story.
2. A Protagonist Lacking Depth
The main character is the core of any story, but in this case, they seem to lack a defined arc or memorable traits. If players/readers can’t connect with them, it’ll be hard to care about their journey. I’d suggest working on:
- Clear motivations: What does the protagonist truly want? What drives them?
- Flaws and growth: A perfect or passive hero tends to be uninteresting.
- Impact on the plot: They should be active, making decisions that shape the story.
The love interest (especially if they’re the "face" of the novel) should have narrative weight that matches their visual prominence. If their presence is reduced to occasional scenes with no relevance to the plot, players will feel their inclusion is artificial. You could improve this by:
- Tying them to the central conflict (e.g., their actions directly affect the protagonist).
- Giving them an active role rather than making them just an object of desire.
An overuse of intimate scenes with minor characters can make it seem like they’re just a cheap way to grab attention rather than adding to the story. If your goal is for the project to be remembered for its narrative quality—not just adult content—I’d recommend:
- Contextualizing these scenes: Make them arise from well-built relationships or key moments.
- Less is more: Quality over quantity. One emotionally impactful scene is worth more than several irrelevant ones.
Right now, the story feels like it’s moving without a clear direction, which can confuse or disengage the audience. To avoid this, you could:
- Define a basic framework: Introduction, central conflict, turning points, climax, and resolution.
- Avoid unnecessary detours: Every scene should develop the plot or characters.
Your project has potential but needs more cohesion. Focus on strengthening the structure, deepening the protagonist, and ensuring every element (characters, romances, scenes) contributes to the whole. Studying works like Pink Cake’s isn’t a bad idea, but what matters is finding your own voice and style.
Wishing you success with your visual novel—I hope to see how it evolves!
- Nov 15, 2022
- 1,220
- 2,298
- Dec 5, 2024
- 21
- 25
I like this VNs balance of sex scenes.
Good girls and wild girls personalities are fitting their character.
The wilder girls don't take sex seriously and it's casual until or if they form a stronger attachment by leaving the FWB zone.
The introverted girls like Cleo and Francesca are taking it more slowly.
An adult VN is boring when every character is Cleo or Francesca.
Having a lot of fun with SGs and wild LIs keeps it entertaining for those of us who like playing as a wild MC.
Those that like it slow and romantic have Cleo and Francesca.
Wild girls like Tracy shouldn't have a problem hooking up with a committed MC.
Not all LIs should be good slow burn romantic girls.
Good girls and bad girls should both act accordingly.
Neutral seducible characters add fun too.
For example, College Kings ruined its dynamics by turning every LI into a lovey dovey type, killing contrast of characters and the spontaneous vibe.
Aubrey went from wild girl with loose morals, then all of a sudden did an unrealistic 180.
It sucks when every LI is a slow-burn Mary-Sue.
Having both play styles like this game is a fun formula.
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- Oct 17, 2022
- 826
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Last edited:
- Jun 5, 2022
- 48
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Is there supposed to be a scene at the end of Episode 1 by interacting with Scarlett/Francesca outside the party? Because I had an issue pop up where I get an error report from Ren'Py pop up. When I selected Rollback, it brought me back to a previous point in the conversation with Ken, and if I hit Ignore, the game crashed. But after restarting, the conversation with Ken finishes up and when I select Scarlett/Francesca, the MC says he'll wait for them to split up but the screen changes to Jordan and Ken briefly (additionally, Sadie isn't dancing in the background. The screen changes back after that first message though, at least until I go back to the club and back outside to try again.
Hey! Thank you very much for your detailed observations, they truly contribute a lot to the game's growth. I'm going to adress each point from my own perspective:
1. Character Overload vs. Narrative Depth
While I do agree with you that I should focus mainly on the primary LIs and characters that I've already introduced, it is, after all, a game about college life, so meeting new people which you don't instantly get close to or at all, to me, seems pretty reasonable and realistic. Of course, that's not really an excuse to introduce new characters every single episode, but let's take the partying aspect of the game for example. A party club can't really happen without at least a bunch of people. Seeing the same old 5 people in parties could make the game feel small, not being able to interact with anyone else could take away from the immersion. For the other part of the game which is the musical club College Rock, of course that one will have a more reserved cast because they don't have to throw parties or to see new faces every time.
2. A Protagonist Lacking Depth
I see where you’re coming from, and honestly, I kind of agree. Right now, the MC doesn’t really have a strong direction, and that’s something I need to work on. His only real goal at the start is just to go to college and graduate, but as the story moves forward, things will start to change. He’ll have to make real choices, pick a club to stick with, and get more involved, which will naturally push him toward having stronger motivations.
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3. Wasted Romantic Potential
I see what you mean, and you're probably referring to Cleo as she's the face of the novel and probably got the fewest minutes. I do plan to add her into the plot in the future, and she will 100% get more minutes, so far she wasn't really relevant to the plot. The reason she hasn't had more of a presence until now is because, with the way the plot evolved, there wasn't really a natural opportunity for her to be involved.
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4. Sexual Scenes as "Content" vs. Meaningful Storytelling
Since this is a college game, it makes sense that not every relationship will be a deep, slow-burn romance. Some people naturally have casual flings, and I want to reflect that in a way that feels organic to the setting. Of course, this doesn’t mean I’ll be adding 100 lewd scenes just for the sake of it, but from time to time, there will be moments that don’t necessarily stem from a deep emotional connection. It adds to the variety and makes the world feel more real.
5. Lack of Narrative Structure
You're right, the story has been moving a bit without any real direction. I feel like, with the third episode's conflicts and findings, the story is forming more and more, and a direction is given.
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Thank you for your thoughtful analysis of the current flaws in the game, your feedback is incredibly helpful. As this is my first big project, hearing thoughts outside of my own perspective is detrimental for improving and achieving a great story.