VN Ren'Py Abandoned Catch the Bunny [v0.11] [Carrots]

3.80 star(s) 32 Votes
Discussion Reviews (32)
A

Aner878787

Member
Nov 17, 2018
277
275
Carrotsteam said:
Hi, Jashin! We already had a native going over the text. If someone wants to help - we are always open to cooperation! The best way to improve the text - become our patron, so we can hire a good proofreader. :)
Click to expand...
Not native speaker, but some thing i found:

MC: I should get started. Even with the two of us will, we'll have to work hard to get everything sorted out by evening.
Ellie: Well, we're almost done, but I still need to make the room comfy. That'll take awhile(awhile is a word, but i think in this case "a while should be used"), but afterwards maybe I'll go out with a friend. ( Awhile is an adverb that means "for a while," whereas "while" is a noun meaning "a period of time." Generally, the two-word form "a while" should be used when following a preposition ("I will read for a while"), or with the words ago or back ("a while ago/back"). Awhile should be used to modify a verb ("I will wait awhile") and can usually replace any usage of "for a while." )
MC: I was so kind to you, I even bought you the(a) present, why would you do that?
MC: No, stop it, don't make be(me?) mad.
MC: I can see your eye bags, morning fatigue, but it seems so insignificant compare(d) to your...
Ellie: Only Eva liked me so much that she was ready to endure these my(delete 1) limitations and were(was) trying to keep in touch with me.
MC: It's the first day, so I don't have to go out as early as usual and it doesn't take long to get to there.
MC: I'm not massaging massage her front part, I told her to stop with sexual harassment. (I didn't)
MC: Cumfort is the name of the Laurel's company.
MC: Enough of this nonsense. I know about you something (something about you), that let's me blackmail you.
MC: I'm sorry, it's just... Wow, it looks great! Pantastic!(Fantastic)
MC: Well, I was told to wait a little while for Scarlett to finish her (something missing), but it's going to be for an hour or so, and I don't have that much time to wait.
Scarlett: I'm sorry for being a little melancholy (melancholic), but i thought you might be interested in hearing a little more about Chloe.
MC: I talked to one of the coaches there, Scarlett, and she said that she would have no problem giving you a pass so that you could go and play tennis without the need in(of) me accompanying you.
MC: I don't know you, she said(told) me to give you her number (or "said to me")
I can give her drink a bottle (rephrase)
Esther: Some eductaion (education) games for children,...
Scarlett: Listen, (t)his may sound strange, and it likely will sound that way, but could you be my psychologist?
Scarlett: Don't you think that using my weakness isn't the best way to ("deal with"?) my problem?
MC (should be Ester): You want to ask for something. What can you give me in return?
MC: They're sticking to into her ass, how can she wear them at all?
Criminal: I didn't ("intervene"?) in the deal, and those who delivered him are already in jail.


Some issues could also be that some choices are not properly remembered. While talking to Eva after sleeping in her tent, depending in the option you chose, she mentions fucking her and extorting her even if you didn't extorted her or if you just kissed her.

Great game by the way. The art is out of this world
 
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Carrotsteam

Carrotsteam

CatchTheBunny Creator
Game Developer
Feb 13, 2021
180
851
Aner878787 said:
Not native speaker, but some thing i found:

MC: I should get started. Even with the two of us will, we'll have to work hard to get everything sorted out by evening.
Ellie: Well, we're almost done, but I still need to make the room comfy. That'll take awhile(awhile is a word, but i think in this case "a while should be used"), but afterwards maybe I'll go out with a friend. ( Awhile is an adverb that means "for a while," whereas "while" is a noun meaning "a period of time." Generally, the two-word form "a while" should be used when following a preposition ("I will read for a while"), or with the words ago or back ("a while ago/back"). Awhile should be used to modify a verb ("I will wait awhile") and can usually replace any usage of "for a while." )
MC: I was so kind to you, I even bought you the(a) present, why would you do that?
MC: No, stop it, don't make be(me?) mad.
MC: I can see your eye bags, morning fatigue, but it seems so insignificant compare(d) to your...
Ellie: Only Eva liked me so much that she was ready to endure these my(delete 1) limitations and were(was) trying to keep in touch with me.
MC: It's the first day, so I don't have to go out as early as usual and it doesn't take long to get to there.
MC: I'm not massaging massage her front part, I told her to stop with sexual harassment. (I didn't)
MC: Cumfort is the name of the Laurel's company.
MC: Enough of this nonsense. I know about you something (something about you), that let's me blackmail you.
MC: I'm sorry, it's just... Wow, it looks great! Pantastic!(Fantastic)
MC: Well, I was told to wait a little while for Scarlett to finish her (something missing), but it's going to be for an hour or so, and I don't have that much time to wait.
Scarlett: I'm sorry for being a little melancholy (melancholic), but i thought you might be interested in hearing a little more about Chloe.
MC: I talked to one of the coaches there, Scarlett, and she said that she would have no problem giving you a pass so that you could go and play tennis without the need in(of) me accompanying you.
MC: I don't know you, she said(told) me to give you her number (or "said to me")
I can give her drink a bottle (rephrase)
Esther: Some eductaion (education) games for children,...
Scarlett: Listen, (t)his may sound strange, and it likely will sound that way, but could you be my psychologist?
Scarlett: Don't you think that using my weakness isn't the best way to ("deal with"?) my problem?
MC (should be Ester): You want to ask for something. What can you give me in return?
MC: They're sticking to into her ass, how can she wear them at all?
Criminal: I didn't ("intervene"?) in the deal, and those who delivered him are already in jail.


Some issues could also be that some choices are not properly remembered. While talking to Eva after sleeping in her tent, depending in the option you chose, she mentions fucking her and extorting her even if you didn't extorted her or if you just kissed her.

Great game by the way. The art is out of this world
Click to expand...
Hi, Aner878787! Wow! Thank you for your help, we will definitely fix this. For anybody wanting to help - we usually reward useful folks with some patreon benefits on our discord server.
 
sexypeanut

sexypeanut

Well-Known Member
Jun 30, 2020
1,782
2,670
TheLegend1337 said:
The art caught my attention, its pretty good. But its all thats good about this VN.

Storyline is confusing and wholly uninteresting.
Theres little to almost no sex scenes as far as ive seen.
Too much uninteresting dialogue. I skipped A LOT and hardly missed anything.

I would suggest a remake or at least improving on basically everything.
Click to expand...
You get real sex scenes at the very beginning (but triggers a game over) and at the latest updates (camping and Halloween)
 
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sexypeanut

sexypeanut

Well-Known Member
Jun 30, 2020
1,782
2,670
Gustavous said:
Wait, Scarlett is my favorite and I only have her fucking herself scene, there any other?
Click to expand...
Yes. You need to choose her as sleeping partner in the camping and choose the correct answers (I suggest saving before each dialogue choice to see if it'll take you to her scene)
 
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sexypeanut

sexypeanut

Well-Known Member
Jun 30, 2020
1,782
2,670
TheLegend1337 said:
"Real sex scene" a blowjob scene that has no relevance to the story itself is not what im interested in.

Also does the Halloween sex scenes have relevance to the story? Cuz theres plenty of devs who does sex scenes during halloween, christmans etc but those sex scenes usually are fan service and has no relevance to the story.

Im not playing these games and VNs for a fap. im playing them for a story that has sexual content.
Click to expand...
Well, I guess so?
Camping:
Casey is just a quick fuck in the woods because she's horny and you're attractive and have a penis.
Scarlett has a compulsion and you're there to 'hep her', in a way
Eva is a bit sad, tbh. She jsut allows you to fuck her because she feels you picked her for the sex alone.
Halloween:
Eva gives you a blowjob while you're tied to a chair. She's pretty pushy for that here, which is strange because she wasn't like that in the camping.
Chloe is super into you, so her sex scene is basically telegraphed the moment she invites you to spend the event with her.

Sincerely, of them all I believe Scarlett and Chloe are the closest to what you're looking for
 
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S

sk456

New Member
Dec 23, 2021
11
6
I love the art, but the story kinda startrd going downhill with the whole camping porn logic and the trip to Uzbekistan is absolutly wack. You can have have a quirky storyline without completely derailing any semblance of logic.
 
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3.80 star(s) 32 Votes