here, for me for example a flaw in writing is this getting still caught up in the genetic issue, which I doubt really interests anyone.
However, despite this I still want to know how it will end (not the genetic issue), so it means that it has done its job well.
however, it remains a simple comic book story, where a super-rich guy goes around the world learning how to fight from a war veteran, then comes home to find himself embroiled in an industrial war.
you can write it just fine, but it remains a comic book story and not a hardcover story