Rehwyn
Engaged Member
- Apr 10, 2024
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Calling poly relationships a “porn fantasy” doesn’t really fit the evidence we have. They’re not the norm, but they also aren’t imaginary or vanishingly rare.
There’s a large review published recently (source
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) that pulled together over 200 peer-reviewed studies on polyamory and consensual non-monogamy. Across those studies, a noticeable minority of adults report having been in CNM relationships (about 1 in 9), and a smaller but real percentage are currently in them (about 4%). The research also shows these relationships can be long-term, involve families and parenting, and look a lot more ordinary than the stereotype suggests.A big reason most people don’t see poly relationships is stigma and legal risk. Many people keep them private for the same reasons other stigmatized relationships have historically stayed hidden, and that also makes studios and publishers hesitant to portray them positively.
As for Jaye/Mal in Chasing Sunsets, the setup itself isn’t especially exotic. One of the more common real-world entry points into polyamory is a couple opening their relationship to a third person, which is exactly the dynamic the story is playing with. Narratively, that seems like a pretty intentional choice by the devs.
So I’m curious what standard you’re using when you call this a “porn fantasy.” Is it about how common it is, personal discomfort with the idea, or the assumption that women wouldn’t freely choose this kind of relationship? And what kind of evidence would actually change that view?
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