Part of the problem is "definitions that people can agree upon". There are some hot-button tags / fetishes that are always the cause of bickering on this site, regardless of the game or other thread where they're brought up. No matter how an official definition of a tag may or may not change, someone will always have a problem with it. "But it's not far enough to count" or "Technically, that doesn't apply in this case" will always be posted in various spots.
You're never going to get a consensus, and even if that were magically possible somehow, new people can always show up in the forums, renewing old arguments. Whether a definitions is technically accurate or not, the agreement you're suggesting just isn't going to happen. The best thing everyone can do is be fine with others expressing their views and to express one's own in a calm, respectful manner. Unfortunately, this is the Internet: most people (including me myself) at least slip sometimes and get caught up in emotion, if not deciding anonymity is license for toxicity.