Nice input, But the storycaption left bar is too cramped don't you think?
I just went all out in compresson, would suggest asking your (paying) sponsors for feedback. I refactored "Home" to show what it looks like without the whitespace. The attached zip has the text for Home/StoryCaption/StorySidebar, and a modified (17c) html.
I would also suggest doing away with the text on the right bar completely, and replace the skip 1h/3h with images e.g. the clock with a 1 and 3 in red text. Ideally hovering over a picture should pop up a text description, but generally players should be able to figure out what they do by just clicking?
A few humble suggestions:
1.) A code editor with twine highlighting ( I use sublime text +
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)
2a.) Use the \ character to end lines without whitespace
2b.) You can use tabs to make your code more readable
Combining the two, this is an excerpt from Home (17c). Note that you repeated the
elseif $status is "Dating Remu" and $time >18 and $time <21
block (with a wrong comment on the first one). I think such mistakes will occur less often if you follow some conventions for code formatting
Code:
<<if $home is "Owned Small House">><<nobr>>
/* Dating Karen - Evening */
<</nobr>><<if $location_karen is "home" and $status is "Dating Karen" and $time >18 and $time <23>>
<img src="img/char/karen_living.jpg" style="max-width: 80%;">
<<speech "You">>I'm hanging out with Karen in the living room<</speech>><<nobr>>
/* Dating Karen - Evening */
<</nobr>><<elseif $status is "Dating Remu" and $time >18 and $time <21 >>
<video controls autoplay ><source @src='"sexvid/remu_home_living_evening/"+either("cuddle_3")+".mp4"' type="video/mp4"></video>
<<speech "You">>I'm hanging out with Remu in the living room<</speech>><<nobr>>
/* Dating Remu - Evening */
<</nobr>><<elseif $status is "Dating Remu" and $time >18 and $time <21 >>
<video controls autoplay ><source @src='"sexvid/remu_home_living_evening/"+either("cuddle_3")+".mp4"' type="video/mp4"></video>
<<speech "You">>I'm hanging out with Remu in the living room<</speech>><<nobr>>
/* Owned Small House - Married Remu Evening */
<</nobr>>
<<elseif $status is "Married to Remu" and $time >17 and $time <20>>
<img src="img/char/remu_livingroom_1.jpg" style="max-width: 80%;">
I'm having a good time talking with My Wife
[[Have Sex with her|Remu 9]]
<<nobr>>
/* Julia Home - Day */
<</nobr>>
This can be written cleaner as:
Code:
/* Start Owned Small House */\
<<if $home is "Owned Small House">>\
/* Dating Karen - Evening */\
<<if $location_karen is "home" and $status is "Dating Karen" and $time >18 and $time <23>>\
<img src="img/char/karen_living.jpg" style="max-width: 80%;">
<<speech "You">>I'm hanging out with Karen in the living room<</speech>>
/* Dating Remu - Evening */\
<<elseif $status is "Dating Remu" and $time >18 and $time <21>>\
<video controls autoplay ><source @src='"sexvid/remu_home_living_evening/"+either("cuddle_3")+".mp4"' type="video/mp4"></video>
<<speech "You">>I'm hanging out with Remu in the living room<</speech>>
/* Owned Small House - Married Remu Evening */\
<<elseif $status is "Married to Remu" and $time >17 and $time <20>>\
<img src="img/char/remu_livingroom_1.jpg" style="max-width: 80%;">
I'm having a good time talking with My Wife
[[Have Sex with her|Remu 9]]
/* Julia Home - Day */\