VN Ren'Py Corrupted Hearts [v0.6 Part B] [Sinful Studios]

[truthpolice]

Oii it seems the 20 year expert is still lurking around here and had more stories to say. I regret sacrificing my time to read those recycled walls of text but it would be fun to waste few minutes here. Hats off to those who did the same.

No offense but its really hard to take the words of such experts when they even misunderstood plain English I wrote earlier. It's not like I am any shakespeare.

As someone said, Everyone's an expert until it's time to be an expert.

What's more amusing is how they couldn't even read the big bold letters - "UNAVOIDABLE NTR FOR CLARA" and still complain about wanting to have the choice to avoid NTR. The story was never meant to have an avoidable ntr. It's like knowingly jumping into a lava pool despite the warning boards. I am really surprised a expert managed to miss all that.

Apparently, special agents can't have emotions or are invulnerable to emotional distress. Even in movies, only coldhearted and stone faced pleps are like that. But nah, when a young special agent woman who has never done any honeypotting suddenly gets forced into such situations, she is supposed to shrug it off and keep a cool head while working along with her husband. Wow. I bet they watch or read too much fiction. But newsflash, agents are people with beating hearts. Not some sociopath or psycho.

Money to avoid theater scene? Just what kind of dope was this expert possibly on? It was her second task with few cents in the app. Let's also forget how she had to truthfully enter her details to the app which included her having a relationship. If it were me, I would be pretty embarassed for flashing 20 year old author badge lol

Setting up surveillance in hallway and her apartment? Just what kind of bs logic is this coming from an expert Specter agents must be laughing their ass off seeing strangers/their own employees setting up surveilliance in a building they friggin own lmao. But hey, let's ignore the surveillance Specter already has in the hallways. 20 year expert conveniently ignores/couldn't comprehend how Alan can't even openly talk to Leon in the hallways. Few times it was kept being mentioned that Specter has surveillance in so many areas.

Alan is ordered to work with Leon by Paula. But hey, let's priortize personal emotions by refusing to work with Leon and disobey your superior and compromise the mission. This is why not everyone should become an agent, including certain expert authors. No offense.

Let's call her "Secretary" over to her apartment all the time instead of Leon, the one who is already working for Specter and who Specter would least suspect. I bet the Specter fools will not at all suspect that her "secretary" is more than just a secretary. At the same time, after calling him to her room, let's also let the poor husband know that she almost got fucked by a drug addict to save his ass because she is supposed to vent all this on her husband during a very important mission.
But hey, what's wrong with possibly jeopardizing the mission that concerns the entire world? Alan almost fucked up once just because he hated Leon in the beginning. But that's fine, right? I am adding a /s here just in case a expert was unable to comprehend what I am trying to imply here.

Says they ain't racist but proceeds to imply racism exists in the game Another fun fact: Just few pleps making an echo chamber doesn't really put them into the category of the "masses". I thought a 20 year expert author would know that better than anyone But you are right, my fingers are hurting from beating a dead horse.

 

[UpravDom]

I perceive the game as it is! That's what the author intended!This is his story! I think there are quite a lot of interesting moments in the game, which more than cover the controversial points! Disputes can be explained by pure psychology!The methods of suggestion look something like this. This is what Clara's face looks like in the game! If you initially consider Clara to be a loving, faithful wife, then you will definitely find the features of virtue on your face! For example: a charming smile, the eyes of a woman in love, the body is in a confidential position, tender lips ask for a kiss...What a blessing to have such a woman! And another contrary opinion. And I initially consider Clara a whore, and here are my arguments: a fake smile of a fallen woman, a cunning squint of the eyes, the body is in a frank pose, the lips are specially painted with bright lipstick. In general, an insidious pretender! Everyone has the right to their personal opinion following their tastes and preferences! Freedom for parrots...

 

[srl316]

it's a good game, but the shit is whatever MC did, Clara will be NTR by LEON at least once, I think this is why the game has only 3.8p.
my ad, just make a completely romance route or just delete it which means Clara can't avoid getting fucked.
anyway, I like it.

 

[Adhdclassic]

I played again and realized with the new update there is a potential of the marriage falling apart without sex even being a factor. The Dev is starting to show Alan is not pleased with the way she is treating him. I like playing the trying to stay married path and in that path he felt disrespected for the way she insulted him and belittled him. In result he snaps. Thats going to take a toll on him.

 

[srl316]

Seeing as you want to keep pulling me back in...

For people saying it wasn't about the Kiss, it was all about the kiss. If the kiss didn't happen the Leon and Clara fuck scene wouldn't have happened. The kiss is used as a spark for her to cheat on Alan with Leon.

I stand by what I have said, it's a broken story that make little to no sense.

The Clara, Alan, and Anna team has been a team for 3 years. Fuck boy Leon has no ties, their team would be tight working together. Clara would have no reason to trust Leon or anything he does. So why would she push her husband away and let Leon who has a checkered past with her husband get close? Makes no sense.

Fact of the matter is her husband is right there and with in arms reach, she tells him to not come around so much. But then lets Leon visit her at all hours of the night. It just doesn't make sense.
They can spend time at the park, the theater, and eating. Even fucking in his motel room, but god forbid it gets out they're husband wife or dating. We'll just upload as picture to show everyone who I'm involved with on an APP controlled by specter and tell them I'm involved someone.

I mean seriously, Leon tells her 'Alan is not here.', Yeah no shit, he's right down the hall... Her response should have been yeah I know he should be, how about you leave and I'll call my husband and talk to him. I'm sure there's an explanation for what I saw.
Then after the sex scene, she wakes up in the morning and looks at her phone at all the missed calls from Alan. Um, yeah she didn't hear the phone go off once.
She wants Alan's trust, yet completely doesn't trust him over a kiss, not even enough to give him a chance to explain.

The story doesn't make her look like a strong willed independent woman, it makes her look like a huge slut that can't get enough dick from Leon when her husband is right there. Unless you choose to let her down all the time.

The Clara and Leon sex scene came way to quick over something so small.

You have no control over it, even if you're playing it from all the views.

Then we have an APP that is introduced to the VN, which is from another VN about a college. So, it's even a bit unoriginal in that respect too. Yet another way to force her to have sex and do things that the player has no control over. I mean can't we get control over if we want to pay to avoid something or not?

She does her thing in the theater, where you can plainly see she has the money to avoid it, yet she just decided to do it... Makes no sense.

She does all this and hides it all from her team when she could easily let her husband know what was going on.
Leon is sus as fuck for always being in the right place at the right time. But Clara, the smart intelligent elite agent, doesn't see this or question how he's always there.

Smart and intelligent, independent are not words I would describe the elite assassin that is trained to operate alone or with a team.

There's nothing wrong with following your plan Dev. But, when the masses tell you there is something wrong, maybe, just maybe, you should listen. It's not even a huge change, it's simple, give people the choice with Clara, more options never hurt things. Allow the Leon and Clara sex scene to not happen if the player wills it, maybe one choice is sex and the other is heavy petting with her stopping it before it get's too far. I'm sure many people would accept that more than the way it is now.

For fuck sakes, she sees him kiss Anna and then fucks Leon because of it. Yet she sees a picture of Alan grabbing Anna's tit and kicks him out if you do nothing and trust her. Or if you listen in through Alexa she lets him rub her but not put it in (not to mention they Leon jumps the gun and accuses Alan, what if it was someone else or mr. X). Clara accepts that with out question, it could only be Alan because Leon said so...
No response from Clara, like I get it Alan is worried about me. Or thank god he's watching out for me. Just, oh he's trying to spy, hurry rub your dick on my pussy! That will teach him! Again makes no sense.

I hate to say it, but her husband is the tech person in the group. Leon is an outsider to the team and someone Alan doesn't trust (Clara doesn't either), he wouldn't be setting shit up in Clara's apartment, her team would. Not only that Clara's apartment would be bugged and have camera's in it that Alan and Anna would monitor. Clara would be tracked by phone or a bug at all times.
I also doubt very seriously she would tell her husband to not come around so much to her bug free apartment. They would be spending time together as they live so close, it was the whole point of him being her secretary, so they were close.

Let the player choose if they do something from the APP or pay it off to skip it.

The story makes no sense the way it is put out when you look at the over all story.

Good luck to you Dev, I hope you complete your project. Consider what people are saying here and maybe look back over your story from the outside. Consider giving readers a bit more control, you don't have to force anything to have a good story, all you have to do is lead them in that direction.
I've seen well written VNs that have choices for avoiding everything in it, but based on past choices some of those are not selectable. For instance if you didn't support Clara up to the Leon sex scene, then the only option you might get is to have sex. If you supported her you get the sex option and a option to avoid it, at least to some degree like I described above (heavy petting maybe, still cheating just a bit lighter). You have no option to tell Leon not to cum in her, just little things like this.

But again you do you and write it the way you want, ignoring everyone telling you there's something wrong with the story.

I totally agree with your idea.
Clara gives me the feeling of a weak woman in an NTR comic.
I don't know if you have played "A perfect marriage", I think Anna in the game is more successfully shaped.
Although Anna sometimes has intimate physical contact with some men because of her credulity, she will never kiss a man other than her husband, let alone further behavior.
She is also deceived (depending on the choice of MC), she is also angry, but she does not immediately throw herself into the arms of another man. She has feelings for her husband and longs for MC to change his mind. She will also verify whether the information she got is correct. even though the evidence she got is also fake (my laugh), at least she made an effort.
Of course, the player can make a choice for Anna, be a naughty slut or a loyal wife.

 

[Adhdclassic]

I totally agree with your idea.
Clara gives me the feeling of a weak woman in an NTR comic.
I don't know if you have played "A perfect marriage", I think Anna in the game is more successfully shaped.
Although Anna sometimes has intimate physical contact with some men because of her credulity, she will never kiss a man other than her husband, let alone further behavior.
She is also deceived (depending on the choice of MC), she is also angry, but she does not immediately throw herself into the arms of another man. She has feelings for her husband and longs for MC to change his mind. She will also verify whether the information she got is correct. even though the evidence she got is also fake (my laugh), at least she made an effort.
Of course, the player can make a choice for Anna, be a naughty slut or a loyal wife.

Sorry I agree with you but Anna. Lingerie Pic to Husbands Friend, Old pervert feeling her butt, allowing man to feel her butt while 9 months pregnant, massage to orgasm while pregnant, Shower handjob with husbands friend. Not good example.

 

[Sadowdark]

Sorry I agree with you but Anna. Lingerie Pic to Husbands Friend, Old pervert feeling her butt, allowing man to feel her butt while 9 months pregnant, massage to orgasm while pregnant, Shower handjob with husbands friend. Not good example.

This is all easy to explain- because this is the path of infidelity

 

[tharsheblows]

She is an elite agent, elite agents are trained to deal with high pressure high stress situations. It wouldn't bother her as much as you'd think. So no, her husband is right there by her side, she can talk to him any time.


No she's not, he lives like right next to her. All she has to do is call or text him to come over. She made the choice for him not to visit her so much, but yet she let's Leon run wild visiting her in the middle of the night. Why not the same rule for him, he's part of the team, make no sense.
Her and Alan fucking go out to the theater, the park and out to eat. Why are they hiding they have a relationship from this super elite bad people who know everything anyway?
Not only that she tells the APP she has someone and then takes a picture of Alan to boot. I'm sure the people at the top running the APP only see blurred pictures, makes no sense to hide the relationship.


This I'll give you, he's making himself look good. But Alan isn't far behind and Clara told Alan she would watch out for him and set boundaries and she knew how to handle smooth talkers. Everything that happens while Leon talks to Clara before they have sex goes against this. Her letting him in the apartment in the middle of the night goes against this. Her knowing he's good with words but she knows how to handle smooth talkers, goes against this.


Doesn't matter, you don't go fuck someone because you see your husband/wife that you love with all your heart kiss someone. You don't even know what the context was.


It was the main reason she fucked Leon.
She tells her husband to stay away but lets Leon visit in the middle of the night, makes no sense.
She says their relationship needs to be secret, but hey let me come over to your motel and fuck you hubby. Then later let's go out to the theater, park and get something to eat. Oh let me take a picture of you to let the tops in specter know you're my boyfriend/husband. I mean certainly the people controlling this APP will only see blurred pictures.
She hides everything from her team, they have no team meetings.
She should be having her husband over regularly since he lives that close, not keeping him away. Especially if she misses him and needs emotional support, they know the place is clean. Why would she keep herself from him and make their lives worse than what it is? Makes no sense...
She would not freak out on Alan and fuck someone she dislikes over a kiss for any reason. She's an elite agent (assassin) when she told Leon we can't do this and he pushed her, he would have been out the door.
I'm sorry, but she wouldn't have fucked Leon over a kiss or anything else knowing how her husband felt about him. She's played out as some one who is super loyal to her husband and will do anything to protect him because she loves him that much. She would have seen the kiss and confronted them right there, or she would have called/texted him to come over so she could ask him about it.
No amount of circular writing changes those facts. You can't display her as some super elite agent, super loyal to Alan, Loves him to death and will do anything for him. Then have her fall over with her legs in the air over a kiss, no matter how stressed she is or emotional. If she was that stressed she would have called her husband and been riding his dick from the get go in her bug free apartment.

The story is broken, make all the excuses you want, nothing fits together. There are too many holes.

Holy crap I need to stop responding to this thread, it's driving me nuts people can't see the problems with the story. All they see is pictures... Mmmmm, nice pictures... Oh, look sex pictures... Must defend...

Moving on... Again I wish the Dev the best. I'll not be posting here for a while, maybe I'll check back after a few updates.

So much for exting the train wreck hmm?

 

[tharsheblows]

Let me explain it to you in simple terms...

Yup all you heard was them telling each other how much they loved each other and they got along very well.

Added during edit:
But, Clara was hiding a deep secret, she never loved Alan and she pretended to get along with him. It was all part of her super secret cover that would over the course of three years lead her back to the arms of her real lover Leon, she couldn't wait to be reunited with him, they both plotted how they could get Anna to kiss Alan. Once done they would have free reign to fuck and Leon could then unload inside of her as the ultimate insult to Alan. It took years of planning on their part, getting Anna in to the team, making her want Alan. But soon it would all come together and Leon and Clara could be free of Alan.

Ok so on a serious note:
According to some people, there is so much back history as to why Alan's loving wife would fuck someone her husband disliked because of a kiss. Or even anyone for that matter, all Alan has to do is kiss a girl and she can go get laid with extra cream inside. Seems fair...
Mainly, Alan's never around because only Leon is allowed to visit her, even though Alan lives pretty much right next door. So, not being a strong willed woman, who is one of the best assassins, she's lonely and doesn't know how to pick up a phone or text her husband.
Yep, Seeing her husband kiss Anna, she would never just open the door and ask what was going on, or call him to come over, even text him to find out.
Because well she so weak even though she's some super elite agent and we all know super elite agents let their emotions control them.
It's just easier to to fuck the guy your husband dislikes over a kiss, then in the morning regret it. Oh let him cum in you too as the ultimate insult to your husband.

Just trying to help you understand... Have a good day.

I see now, you're here on this comic/porn site for the realism of it all.

 

[siath70]

I see now, you're here on this comic/porn site for the realism of it all.

No one, well at least me, is asking for realism. I'm, and other are, asking for believability. Fucking Leon over a kiss after everything that was said in bed between Clara and Alan makes no sense. As I said, it would make more sense she maybe broke down and but caught herself and stopped it before the fucking started.

Who goes, fuck me Leon, cum in me. Then next time, don't put it in I don't want to fuck you because I love Alan. What, next time it will be, we can't have sex but let me give you a handy...

It's not believable, everything else in the story up to this one point is acceptable. She would have confronted Alan and Anna about the kiss based on the strength of her character set up by the Dev. The Dev literally says Clara is a intelligent, strong willed, and independent woman, who is also an elite agent.
There is no way she would not open that door and ask Alan what was going on, or go back to her room and call Alan and confront him. Then it would be separate rooms for Alan and Anna, or Alan would start living with her under the guise she wants him closer for work.

 

[Deleted member 7535870]

I totally agree with your idea.
Clara gives me the feeling of a weak woman in an NTR comic.
I don't know if you have played "A perfect marriage", I think Anna in the game is more successfully shaped.
Although Anna sometimes has intimate physical contact with some men because of her credulity, she will never kiss a man other than her husband, let alone further behavior.
She is also deceived (depending on the choice of MC), she is also angry, but she does not immediately throw herself into the arms of another man. She has feelings for her husband and longs for MC to change his mind. She will also verify whether the information she got is correct. even though the evidence she got is also fake (my laugh), at least she made an effort.
Of course, the player can make a choice for Anna, be a naughty slut or a loyal wife.

The difference is that you can play as Anna in APM and influence her to be strong according to the path you choose by her own choices not that of her husband.
In Corrupted Heart only Alan can make choices and results; Clara is a weak whore with 0 resistance I think people have to accept that Clara if she doesn't get help from Alan she finds herself fucking another guy without any resistance and I think that siath70 has a point here, Clara is an elite agent with experience and training to control these emotions she is not a stone but her reaction unworthy her of being an elite agent and also as a wife.

 

[siath70]

The difference is that you can play as Anna in APM and influence her to be strong according to the path you choose by her own choices not that of her husband.
In Corrupted Heart only Alan can make choices and results; Clara is a weak whore with 0 resistance I think people have to accept that Clara if she doesn't get help from Alan she finds herself fucking another guy without any resistance and I think that siath70 has a point here, Clara is an elite agent with experience and training to control these emotions she is not a stone but her reaction unworthy her of being an elite agent and also as a wife.

I have to jump back in here after my last post...

I forgot one thing in what I said and I need to clarify that.
Clara can't make choices in this game, no one can, only Alan.
So to make what I proposed work you could just base it on the current Clara trust points and just do it that way. No choice needed, if Alan has enough Clara trust point she stops it after she cums, if not it goes all the way. Either way you still get her cheating with Leon.

Again I think this would make more sense and make people a bit more happy over all.

As an author, and that is what a Dev is when writing a VN, you sometimes have to take into account what your readers are saying. A main stream author, like King or Rollings, has an Editor to do it. They submit their book and the editors tear it a part for them to change. Here you don't get that, the readers are your editors.

Be flexible in your writing, no one here is asking you to make to realistic. Most of us are just asking for believability.
Her fucking his enemy (or even a person he doesn't like/trust) over a kiss. After everything she told Alan in bed after meeting Leon, doesn't make sense.

Dev, hear what a lot of people are saying, Clara fucking Leon over a kiss she knows nothing about is bullshit.
You say she's all this shit and strong willed, then do a 180 and turn her into a cock whore despite her love and trust of Alan and knowing Leon's background with her husband.

But, I'm not the one writing it, it's all up for the Dev to decide.

 

[UpravDom]

Maybe it's better to ask everyone to show a full-fledged sex scene of Gunnar and Clara! But what if! I really want to! Now the score of victories over Clara in favor of Leon is 2.5 points and a prospect. Mr. Brown has 1 point and a perspective. Ben has 1 point - he is out of the game forever. Alan knows that he has 1 point conditionally! Alan hasn't worked that hard either! Gunnar missed his chance to open an account, but there is a prospect! So we are waiting for which of the men will be able to get a spectacular point! (Or a point)

 

[Sadowdark]

Maybe it's better to ask everyone to show a full-fledged sex scene of Gunnar and Clara! But what if! I really want to! Now the score of victories over Clara in favor of Leon is 2.5 points and a prospect. Mr. Brown has 1 point and a perspective. Ben has 1 point - he is out of the game forever. Alan knows that he has 1 point conditionally! Alan hasn't worked that hard either! Gunnar missed his chance to open an account, but there is a prospect! So we are waiting for which of the men will be able to get a spectacular point! (Or a point)

I will dispel this fear quickly, everyone who fucks Clara will get points

 

[Deleted member 7535870]

I will dispel this fear quickly, everyone who fucks Clara will get points

Leon doesn't count since he is officially Clara's 2nd boyfriend

 

[UpravDom]

Damn it! If you follow the logic, it turns out that Leon simply has to come to Alan and as an honest man ask Alan for Clara's hand!

 

[srl316]

It was the main reason she fucked Leon.
She tells her husband to stay away but lets Leon visit in the middle of the night, makes no sense.
She says their relationship needs to be secret, but hey let me come over to your motel and fuck you hubby. Then later let's go out to the theater, park and get something to eat. Oh let me take a picture of you to let the tops in specter know you're my boyfriend/husband. I mean certainly the people controlling this APP will only see blurred pictures.
She hides everything from her team, they have no team meetings.
She should be having her husband over regularly since he lives that close, not keeping him away. Especially if she misses him and needs emotional support, they know the place is clean. Why would she keep herself from him and make their lives worse than what it is? Makes no sense...
She would not freak out on Alan and fuck someone she dislikes over a kiss for any reason. She's an elite agent (assassin) when she told Leon we can't do this and he pushed her, he would have been out the door.
I'm sorry, but she wouldn't have fucked Leon over a kiss or anything else knowing how her husband felt about him. She's played out as some one who is super loyal to her husband and will do anything to protect him because she loves him that much. She would have seen the kiss and confronted them right there, or she would have called/texted him to come over so she could ask him about it.
No amount of circular writing changes those facts. You can't display her as some super elite agent, super loyal to Alan, Loves him to death and will do anything for him. Then have her fall over with her legs in the air over a kiss, no matter how stressed she is or emotional. If she was that stressed she would have called her husband and been riding his dick from the get go in her bug free apartment.

The story is broken, make all the excuses you want, nothing fits together. There are too many holes.

Holy crap I need to stop responding to this thread, it's driving me nuts people can't see the problems with the story. All they see is pictures... Mmmmm, nice pictures... Oh, look sex pictures... Must defend...

Moving on... Again I wish the Dev the best. I'll not be posting here for a while, maybe I'll check back after a few updates.

yeah，open the file, you will find that , even [trust Points Clara] >=10, Clara still fucked, is stupid

 

[srl316]

Sorry I agree with you but Anna. Lingerie Pic to Husbands Friend, Old pervert feeling her butt, allowing man to feel her butt while 9 months pregnant, massage to orgasm while pregnant, Shower handjob with husbands friend. Not good example.

I know, actually, I think what she did is inappropriate，but much better than Clara, I notice she mention she is very innocent，maybe it has affect her Behavior.
And man! what can i say? you choose go to this.

because this is the path of infidelity

 

[Deleted member 7535870]

Damn it! If you follow the logic, it turns out that Leon simply has to come to Alan and as an honest man ask Alan for Clara's hand!

I don't think so, it would be more of a declaration of war and the story would end too quickly

 

[srl316]

The difference is that you can play as Anna in APM and influence her to be strong according to the path you choose by her own choices not that of her husband.
In Corrupted Heart only Alan can make choices and results; Clara is a weak whore with 0 resistance I think people have to accept that Clara if she doesn't get help from Alan she finds herself fucking another guy without any resistance and I think that siath70 has a point here, Clara is an elite agent with experience and training to control these emotions she is not a stone but her reaction unworthy her of being an elite agent and also as a wife.

yep!
all her behavior doesn't match her setting. as i said, just like a weak rpq in porn comic.