Yeah, but a healthy individual is able to distinguish between their fantasy and reality. I am into a lot of stuff, especially slavery and rape (where I am the perpetrator), and those are crimes in real life.
Iff someone shamed me for liking stuff like that, or if someone shamed you for liking stuff you liked, of course I or you would get defensive about it.
Naturally, not every fantasy should be treated as harmless, but someone enjoying the idea of getting cucked to me is no worse than someone rape, incest and so on and so on.