I feel that this needs to be addressed:
Your major mistake, and I don't think it is your fault, is the confusion of these games as Harem games. They aren't. They are classified like that because the correct Tag "PolyAmourous" doesn't exist, at least not here.
This isn't a Harem, because the relationship between the characters is a relationship of equals. Everyone is involved with everyone, without a leader or Master. In these games, this author gives the Wife the power of starting the talks that will lead to the group. That is probably why you feel it is her Harem. Since this isn't a Harem, your impression is based on a faulty perspective.
The Harem tag is the only one that vaguely approaches this, but the concept of Poly Amoury is NOT an Harem.
Peace