You asked for feedback on your story, so here goes. There isn't one. This alpha is an exposition dump with way too much Toby McGuire, there is the basis of a story to be told, and a whole lot of questions put forward, but no actual story to be told. The only things we know so far is MC's mom died, MC's dad was cheated on then died, and MC is a voyeur cuck with a potential "power" that is not even remotely hinted at, and is most likely not going to be useful for him at all. I say that because any power he has is inborn and through his life he hasn't yet used it once, which means it's something so niche that it's never affected his daily life, and that isn't possible with an inborn ability or disability. It's like being able to see colours more clearly than others, interesting, but ultimately useless, because anything useful would come out once, and he wouldn't be wondering what it was. Any form or mental abilities are out because he would notice that pretty quickly. If you can mind control, in 18 years you would use it at first unconsciously, then consciously, mostly due to the fact that everyone gets stressed by others and wants them to change their minds, teachers giving homework over a long holiday, a bully picking on you or your friends, the list goes on. A physical power like healing, strength etc. would be even more noticable since children and even teens "play" a lot, which includes even simple things like kicking a ball around, racing your friends, the list goes on. So all in all, he's got a "power" that is so niche that it's pretty much useless, or has ridiculous conditions to it, again making it useless.
There is a possible story there, but so far we haven't seen it, and needs a bit more thought before you move forward with the "power" concept.
I hope that I haven't brought you down, only given you some things to think about. Look to your own childhood for stress' and wishes before you try to add a power in that won't fit in realistically to your story. Good luck and I truly hope you move forwards after thinking things through a bit more logically.
There is a possible story there, but so far we haven't seen it, and needs a bit more thought before you move forward with the "power" concept.
I hope that I haven't brought you down, only given you some things to think about. Look to your own childhood for stress' and wishes before you try to add a power in that won't fit in realistically to your story. Good luck and I truly hope you move forwards after thinking things through a bit more logically.
