I think I know where the frustration over lack of dominant/assertive stuff stems from. From what I've noticed, it's usually expressed by gamers playing the PC as a straight boy. And herein lies the problem, because as much as sandboxy and gender-customizable Degrees of Lewdity try to be, at this moment at its core the PC is written generally as feminine, with most NPCs being masculine. What I mean by that is that one needs helluva suspension of disbelief to try not to laugh at a sexual assault scene whereby an athletic boy punches and kicks a female assailant as she pulls his head to her moist pussy. That's almost taken straight out of Monty Python's and the Holy Grail, where the valiant Sir Galahad becomes overwhelmed by the girls of the Castle Anthrax who demand to be spanked all. And after the spanking, oral sex!
So, while I play this game as a female and work things out the soft, submissive-promiscuous way, I can kinda understand the pain that the boys who wanna be boys go through when they want to play tough and realize this is not a game about a young male learning how to score women and kick butt.
It would be a massive undertaking I guess, but it would help a lot if a more male-specific route was written into the game, which would take the gender differences much further beyond just pronouns, genitalia and clothing options. This, or just drop gender configuration altogether.