Ren'Py Desert Adventure - Preview and discussion

[LP83]

Random girl
View attachment 271583

I already find her very hot!

 

[Grumpy Eagle]

Hi,
If you have time, try to play Pre-Demo of my upcoming game. This is not an optimized version or demo version! This is zero version!!! I would like to know your opinion on the gameplay mechanics.

You can visit 3 locations (home, slave market and marketplace).
You can jump between day and night.
There is one story about Sadira (She will tell you what happened when she got drunk).

Just try it and tell me what do you think.

I would like to know what is good and what is bad. What to change to improve the game experience.

Obviously the biggest problem is my engrlish... I am trying to use short sentences to reduce number of mistakes but I understand that it can be quite annoing...

Download links:

win:

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mac:

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Thank you!!!

 

[Grumpy Eagle]

Still alive and still working...
I added some minigames + working on a story.
I decided not to create any animations.
I'm Trying to find balance between grinding and storyline.

 

[Grumpy Eagle]

I added short 'video' to the preview. It's nothing special. Only compilation of few pictures from the game. It can give you an idea of what the game looks like.

 

[Gamle]

It looks like a very promising game indeed, Btw, is the pre-demo version released at svscomics today, the same version you linked here earlier?

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[Grumpy Eagle]

It looks like a very promising game indeed, Btw, is the pre-demo version released at svscomics today, the same version you linked here earlier?

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Hi,
thanks for your reply. Well it is probably same version but I didn't upload it on svs.
Well I don't care that someone upload it on different side but it is only stupid short version. It's not for playing. I only wanted to know players ideas about graphic. So the uploaded version is not a game, it's a concept.

 

[Grumpy Eagle]

Hi,
I decide to add few animations to the game so the release date will be probably little later. Right now I am trying to figure out how to do it in best possible way (relation between time and quality).

 

[Zippity]

The backdrops look unique and interesting... And I can see you've worked out a few of the basics... For now it looks like your mostly in concept planning, more then actually finished planning out the story and so on...

If all we have is basic concepts from which to base an opinion on, for now the visual concepts look unique and decent... I'm going to guess you maybe planning on arena slave fighting based off some of the pictures in your video? If you plan to have gore, I'm not sure that would play out well in an Erotic/Adult themed VN/Game... The only things I really get from what you've show is that it will be more or less a reluctant slave owner story, based in a more historical setting, perhaps low fantasy, with varying female characters, possibly some slave training, based on a corruption theme possibly (unsure if that means the protagonist is being corrupted or is doing the corruption), and so on...

For now if looks like you have some basic concept ideas, but haven't really concretely nailed down everything you want to do... If I had to give a thumbs up or down just based on the tiny amount of conceptual art you've shown and some of the very basic concepts you've mentioned in this thread, of course I say thumbs up, go for it... But you really need to nail down more than all of this, as it sounds like you haven't even written out a basic story line yet, from beginning to the end... Are you just planning to improvise as you go and see where it leads you? That can lead to disaster if not handled right... So be careful...

I can't really give you an over all judgement till I actually see the product in action/motion... The only way for the public to truly give an honest and informed decision is to see how good you are at the whole package, and not just visual concepts with a very short basic story concept along with a couple theme ideas... If you decide to actually begin rolling out your product for public consumption, I'll have a better opinion of everything... Just remember to stay true to your own vision, and don't let too many outside forces drive your creative process... If you relinquish too much control to other peoples opinions and desires, you can end up losing your way and the product may suffer because of it... Best of luck, and I look forward to seeing what you can actually do, post concept...

Zip

 

[baka]

so far so good, interesting backgroundstory and story,
as for me i care mostly about the personalities and the role the MC has.
to train a slutty girl into a slut doesn't make sense. so the girls need to be a bit stereotype, naive, virgintype. not that i enjoy only that kind of girls but for a game, i like that trait. i also like corruption. so if training it should be a corrupting experience and the girls should try to resist a bit. keep it up.

 

[Grumpy Eagle]

The backdrops look unique and interesting... And I can see you've worked out a few of the basics... For now it looks like your mostly in concept planning, more then actually finished planning out the story and so on...

If all we have is basic concepts from which to base an opinion on, for now the visual concepts look unique and decent... I'm going to guess you maybe planning on arena slave fighting based off some of the pictures in your video? If you plan to have gore, I'm not sure that would play out well in an Erotic/Adult themed VN/Game... The only things I really get from what you've show is that it will be more or less a reluctant slave owner story, based in a more historical setting, perhaps low fantasy, with varying female characters, possibly some slave training, based on a corruption theme possibly (unsure if that means the protagonist is being corrupted or is doing the corruption), and so on...

For now if looks like you have some basic concept ideas, but haven't really concretely nailed down everything you want to do... If I had to give a thumbs up or down just based on the tiny amount of conceptual art you've shown and some of the very basic concepts you've mentioned in this thread, of course I say thumbs up, go for it... But you really need to nail down more than all of this, as it sounds like you haven't even written out a basic story line yet, from beginning to the end... Are you just planning to improvise as you go and see where it leads you? That can lead to disaster if not handled right... So be careful...

I can't really give you an over all judgement till I actually see the product in action/motion... The only way for the public to truly give an honest and informed decision is to see how good you are at the whole package, and not just visual concepts with a very short basic story concept along with a couple theme ideas... If you decide to actually begin rolling out your product for public consumption, I'll have a better opinion of everything... Just remember to stay true to your own vision, and don't let too many outside forces drive your creative process... If you relinquish too much control to other peoples opinions and desires, you can end up losing your way and the product may suffer because of it... Best of luck, and I look forward to seeing what you can actually do, post concept...

Zip

Thanks for reply.

There will be no gore or anything like that in the game.

I have the basic story but there is a problem no one actually pointed out. I have to find a way to present the story in english. English is not my first language and right now I cannot pay anyone to translate it. That is the reason why I chose to write in short sentences and mostly dialogues.
So when I want to know your opinion about writing I mean actual sentences, english (engrish), grammar and overall your feeling when you read the dialogue. Obviously I'm not Stephen King but I would like to know if the level of english I used is good enough to not be too discouraging.

 

[Zippity]

Thanks for reply.

There will be no gore or anything like that in the game.

I have the basic story but there is a problem no one actually pointed out. I have to find a way to present the story in english. English is not my first language and right now I cannot pay anyone to translate it. That is the reason why I chose to write in short sentences and mostly dialogues.
So when I want to know your opinion about writing I mean actual sentences, english (engrish), grammar and overall your feeling when you read the dialogue. Obviously I'm not Stephen King but I would like to know if the level of english I used is good enough to not be too discouraging.

It's understandable, most of the time... But obviously the Broken English will be a problem for some/many readers, depending on how bad it ends up being... Sometimes broken English is discernable, and yet sometimes the points the writer is intending to get across to a reader, may get lost or cause confusion... Again, depending on how bad the translation and interpretation is... Google translate and utilities like it, may seem ok, and are really intended for basic translation of websites and short bits of text... But in the end, they do a very poor job of handling the interpretation side of the translating... They are more or less directly translating the words, but without someone to interpret the intentions and cross-cultural meanings, it may just sound like random words being tossed out there, along side the few easy to understand words...

Again, best of luck on your project... You may want to seek out someone who can properly translate and interpret your writing, if you want to be fully successful... I've seen plenty of Erotic/Adult VN/Games get mostly poor scoring and negative feedback, purely because of broken English... If your work is going to be based on story over erotic stuff, then the text will be key... If it is going to be just a typical porn fest, with very little meaningful and/or deep story telling, then you might be able to get away with broken English... Because then it's just being used by folks for masturbation purposes, rather then for people wanting a good story with their erotic stuff... Just some food for thought...

Zip

 

[Kalrotix]

Thanks for reply.

There will be no gore or anything like that in the game.

I have the basic story but there is a problem no one actually pointed out. I have to find a way to present the story in english. English is not my first language and right now I cannot pay anyone to translate it. That is the reason why I chose to write in short sentences and mostly dialogues.
So when I want to know your opinion about writing I mean actual sentences, english (engrish), grammar and overall your feeling when you read the dialogue. Obviously I'm not Stephen King but I would like to know if the level of english I used is good enough to not be too discouraging.

If I can suggest something to help you with English, Grammarly is an application who correct ortograph and some errors of syntaxes, it's a very good help for me.

 

[Grumpy Eagle]

If I can suggest something to help you with English, Grammarly is an application who correct ortograph and some errors of syntaxes, it's a very good help for me.

Thanks.
Looks good. I'll definitely try it.

 

[Grumpy Eagle]

Hi,
after long vacation back to work. I decided to hire someone to translate my text to english. She's not a professional translator but she's definitely better than me.
Bonus is I have more time to create graphic.
I try to balance between game quality x financial expenses x realistic expectations.

Right now I am happy to improve translation.

OK. Back to work.

 

[Canto Forte]

Expected release date of 26th of June is dead and gone ...
Back to work needs to be about the renders if you did away with the engrish ...
Work may also consist of Gui and UI and ... options that make the grind and / or hint system work!

 

[Grumpy Eagle]

Expected release date of 26th of June is dead and gone ...
Back to work needs to be about the renders if you did away with the engrish ...
Work may also consist of Gui and UI and ... options that make the grind and / or hint system work!

I'm actually still working on it. Mostly on GUI and UI. I create something for 3-4 days and then I find out that it is not exactly what I want and then I start again.

At the beginning there was quite a lot of grinding so I made many changes. Now there is almost no grinding (maybe at the begining you have to go few times to work but that is fine in my opinion).

The first release should have at least 2 hours of game play.

The engrish is still there but not that much (I cannot hire profi translator but the guy who translates it is better than me).

Anyway I think 2-3 weeks and I will finish.

 

[Grumpy Eagle]

Expected release date of 26th of June is dead and gone ...
Back to work needs to be about the renders if you did away with the engrish ...
Work may also consist of Gui and UI and ... options that make the grind and / or hint system work!

OK I updated info about the game .

 

[Canto Forte]

Fair enough .. do not lose focus and do not lose perspective.
Take a break if needed and try some games from here... see what works and what does not.
Setting might come close to Apokalipse from Tim (give it a try if you can) or ... Dune ...
Maybe Shelter or lust and revenge ... possibly Call of the void or fall of ashenburg ...
Happy game makin'!

 

[Grumpy Eagle]

All content for DEMO is complete. I will finish some details and the game will be released.
Release within 10 days.

 

[Grumpy Eagle]

OK. Everything is finished. Tomorrow I'll try to figure out how to publish the game on this web.

I'm quite happy with the result. Of course there are few things that can be made better but for me it's learning process.

I am very curious about your reactions...