2D Erotic 2D Art, requesting feedback

[Lussuria]

I think she needs a bit more shine to really sell that part, and some rim lighting would go great with it. And the hair and face need a bit more work too, they look a bit flat. The hair needs some highlight on the top and near the shoulder blades.

Thanks for the feedback, I think it helped! That being said, I think I could go farther on the shine but I constantly second guess myself with such bold use of color. It's extra tricky because my main monitor has pretty high contrast, then I drag my pieces onto my other monitor and I think I didn't go far enough.

 

[lutra_lovegood]

You're welcome, you're the one doing all the hard work here, ahah, and this is turning great!

Now it's just missing some extra shine on that wet hair and I might just run out of ideas.

 

[Yakis0ba]

Discerning viewers should be able to tell the setting of the game from this piece.

I want to say 'Rome'--but I'm an American, and we're notoriously bad at geography, so I'll go with Seoul?

 

[Lussuria]

I want to say 'Rome'--but I'm an American, and we're notoriously bad at geography, so I'll go with Seoul?

Wow! You are right, it is Seoul, you have quite the eye for this!

 

[Lussuria]

She's a real cutie, isn't she?

 

[lutra_lovegood]

I think eyelashes work better but they need to be more clean and fake to look good both up close and from further away, so depends on how big she'll be ingame.

 

[Lussuria]

Yeah, I was originally on the fence but after working on them a bit more I've decided to keep them.



I think the eyelashes work alright up close (as long as you don't focus on them I guess lol) but they will usually be at the same distance as in the above pictures.

 

[Lussuria]

I've been improving old pieces to bring them in line with my more recent work, here's a comparison to show the progress.

 

[golrim]

The eyelashes look fine from a distance, but a close up you want to make the base of the eye lash thicker. If you look at eye lashes they then to be form a tipi shape where they are spread at the base, but clump to gather 50-75 percent towards the tip.

 

[Lussuria]

Still working on this project but writing a coherent, realistic, and well paced story has been more challenging and demotivating than doing the art. I may look for beta testers to get feedback on the writing and the game, if anyone is interested in providing feedback let me know!

 

[somebodynobody]

I figured it was Rome, but also figured it was jokingly in "The eternal mists" (location setting of jack of all trades a slave trainer game in what is conceptually eternal rome stuck in limbo)

You have come a pretty long way from the original posts in this thread so Kudos to you. Story is always both the easiest and hardest thing to do. Since you can be like "My story is like the matrix but in a dream world concept" which sounds cool but getting from "Name your MC" to explaining why those cranes (the bird) just turned into origami cranes and what significance that will have to the player is pretty daunting.

My take on the easiest way is to break it down into pieces that are easiest to complete or make sense. An example would be first meetings. Assuming you know when each character will meet and you know who knows who. Then a lot of the talk is general nice to meet you, get to know you stuff. Knock all of those out of the park.

Another example would be sex scene. Whether virgin or not, you write the first scene of whatever type as an entry point for the all the future. So let's imagine you are doing the 7th sex scene. That can be easily knocked out because it will be a lot of general talk/dirty talk.

Other stuff would be the description of places.

Then finally move onto the actual hard story stuff.

Anyways it looks good so far.



Below is just my general recommendation for 2d artists who want to get better.
--------
Recommendations for materials of people who want to draw 2d better.

Andrew Loomis: His books are considered pretty cornerstone for an artist's education primarily "Fun with a pencil" for a beginner "Successful Drawing" and "Figure Drawing for All it's Worth" for intermediate, and "Creative Illustration" for Advanced. Other books can be woven in, but make sure the ones you take on are in your correct knowledge bracket.

Burne Hogarth: He was a master of Dynamic poses and his books on them really help to illustrate movement and action.

Bert Dodson: Keys to Drawing

If you want to spend some money. This is an online lecture program that has a huge amount of information.

You must be registered to see the links

You must be registered to see the links

Has a lot of book suggestions for drawing of all types.

You must be registered to see the links

Of course youtube has tons and tons of courses and videos from both professionals and amateurs on learning to draw, finding art style, etc.

 

[Lussuria]

Thanks for the tips and feedback somebodynobody! Thinking of the story in parts is a very useful way to think about it, the problem is trying to write everything in-between those scenes. I don't want "filler" but I do want realistic pacing and character building/progression.


Anyway, did another drawing of the last girl, I think it came out well. Again, it looks better on one monitor than another due to their different contrasts, not sure how it looks on other people's screens. On one monitor the fading is faint while on the other some highlights/shadows stick out too much. Let me know what you think!

 

[somebodynobody]

Thanks for the tips and feedback somebodynobody! Thinking of the story in parts is a very useful way to think about it, the problem is trying to write everything in-between those scenes. I don't want "filler" but I do want realistic pacing and character building/progression.


Anyway, did another drawing of the last girl, I think it came out well. Again, it looks better on one monitor than another due to their different contrasts, not sure how it looks on other people's screens. On one monitor the fading is faint while on the other some highlights/shadows stick out too much. Let me know what you think!

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Think of your filler as a scene.

Example of a "filler" or "Throwaway scene".

MC decides to get some tasty coffee at some quaint coffee place near him. Scene starts with him thinking to get coffee, going to the shop, entering the shop and maybe one of the other character he knows is there and they just picked up their coffee and are heading out, a bump into each other, an apology and maybe a recognition and smile, awkward talking for a moment, remembering they are going to work and another apology having to speed away, MC reflects on it for a moment, orders their coffee and goes about the day.

Sure this was all a short happening, but even minor things start to build character, or you can throw jokes in like toilet paper on the shoe of a person leaving, weird named coffee that the MC can't say because he is a foreigner, awkwardly failing at hitting on the barista and an actual love interest tries to give pointers. Anything can be a filler scene but still be interesting.


On the colors, I would suggest trying to color calibrate them both as well as you can. There are tools, but you can use the built in windows 10 one.

 

[Lussuria]

I think this one came out pretty well!

 

[Lussuria]

Yet again updating older assets, this time bringing the milf more in line with the more recent girls. Primarily shading and updates to the face.

 

[sad_mask]

Awesome style and great work! Looking forward to see gameplay.

 

[Lussuria]

Been a bit distracted from this project, last thing I did was a simple cafe interior a bit over a month ago. The biggest problem is still doubting my own writing ability. I don't want to build on a rotten foundation but I'm pretty invested with the assets I have made so far.




I've been practicing my art skills though by experimenting with a different anime inspired style, I was wondering if that would give me more freedom and expedite the art creation process. My current style has all been traced """realistic"" art which means outside of doing minor variations, I need exact images to work off which limits the situations I can create and in turn makes writing more difficult.

Here was my first attempt at working in an anime style. I'm proud of how it came out since it's really my first time actually working from reference images rather than tracing. I can say that it's not much faster though.



Let me know what you think. I don't currently have plans to abandon the project I've been working on but progress in the past month has been non-existent. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place because I get urges to say "fuck it" and release what I have now as an early alpha but if I do decide to transition to a different project, I don't want to let people down by abandoning something.

 

[Basilicata]

release what I have now as an early alpha

Hey old friend... Here's my thought about this and it's one of the few times I m confident about it. DON'T YOU DARE!
I had the same urge 3 years ago when I started Goss_IP. Like a toddler, drawing his "masterpiece" I wanted to show it to the world. It was brutal. One star reviews, people got angry with me like they had paid money or something, one even called me dumb etc.
But I wanted to finish what I started and eventually I got better. So I even revised my first "ugly" chapter with better graphics etc. But the damage was already done. It took me months to start having better reviews because the comments at page 1 always remain. So whoever wanted to check out my game read them and changed his mind.
Bottom line, don't rush your game. Take your time, keep up drawing, the more you draw the better and the rest will come.
If you want, find a small group of trusted game testers and have a more valid opinion.
With my current game I asked yours, remember?
One last thing. First impression is paramount. Don't do just 0.1. Do even 0.2 because once you go public, people will be expecting frequent updates.
Anyway. Good luck.

 

[APPLE李岳]

[引用=“卢苏里亚，帖子：4850572，成员：2388426”]
我应该听...我不应该画这些背景。需要很多时间，但我太喜欢它了！不是100%完成，但我认为它在一个相当好的地方，让我知道你的想法！

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[/引用]
我是中国人。我不懂英语。我使用翻译软件。我会原谅你的任何语法错误。

看到你说的场景问题，你的场景画画很不错。

我知道你是否担心无用，但如果你能使用它就好了。

主要是因为我不知道你的故事是什么样的，所以我不知道这些场景会是什么样子。

但实际上，你画得很好。

游戏“好女孩GoneBad”在背景上花费不多，所以你有时不需要那么纠结。

如果您喜欢它，我们可以使用它。

 

[APPLE李岳]

[引用=“卢苏里亚，帖子：6277995，成员：2388426”]
对这个项目有点分心，我做的最后一件事是一个多月前一个简单的咖啡馆内部。最大的问题还是怀疑自己的写作能力。我不想建立在腐朽的基础上，但我对我迄今为止所做的资产非常投入。

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我一直在练习我的艺术技能，尽管通过尝试不同的动漫风格，我想知道这是否会给我更多的自由并加快艺术创作过程。我目前的风格都被追溯到“”现实“艺术，这意味着除了做微小的变化之外，我需要精确的图像来工作，这限制了我可以创造的情况，反过来又使写作更加困难。

这是我第一次尝试以动漫风格工作。我为它的结果感到自豪，因为这是我第一次真正使用参考图像而不是跟踪。我可以说它并没有快多少。

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让我知道你的想法。我目前没有计划放弃我一直在做的项目，但过去一个月的进展一直不存在。我被困在岩石和艰难的地方之间，因为我有冲动说“去他妈的”并发布我现在作为早期alpha版本的东西，但如果我决定过渡到一个不同的项目，我不想让人们失望放弃一些东西。
[/引用]
我在中国是半个作家，但我不知道外国小说的格式，所以在这方面我帮不上忙。

如果你在情节上需要一些帮助，我很乐意，但我忍不住写。毕竟我们还是属于两个国家，我们的风格完全不同。

现在有很多游戏。对我来说，游戏的风格是“好女孩走了坏”。

日式风格并没有让人感到很多代入感。这也可能是我个人的想法。